I should've proudly claimed that my head's to blame

[memorizethefire]

Who: Axel and Roxas (and Sora and Riku)
When: Reset
Where: Their room, 16C
Summary: After dying a rather terrible death, Axel is back, only half healed.
Rating: PG-13 (or R depending)
Warnings: Pain, lots of pain, talk of death, guilt, married Nobodies.

Comments

[shardsofmemory]

It took Roxas more time than he wanted to get back to Axel. Upon realizing people were coming back at reset, in their rooms, hurt, he tried to get back, but there were people to heal. And they kept posting, and needing help, and it took him almost 20 minutes to get back to their room and Axel was probably lying there in pain, able to do nothing.

He shoved the door against the wall with a little too much force, but it was forgotten when he saw Axel. Not on the bed like he'd thought, but in the corner, against the wall.

He looked-- fine, actually, but Roxas was letting the door fall shut and rushing over before he even registered it, kneeling by Axel's side to mutter "Heal."

[memorizethefire]

It was hard for him to lift his head up and open his eyes when he heard the door. The spell flowed through him before he realized it, making it easier to breath. He raised a hand to ruffle Roxas' hair, grinning weakly at him.

"Thanks."

[shardsofmemory]

"Don't say that," Roxas instructed in a weary voice, "just-- let me check you. What did they do?"

He knew people were hurt. He knew people had died and he knew Axel had to have died. Blue eyes focused on his face, for just a moment, which looked... fine, next to everyone else. No visible cuts or bruises, not yet, but Roxas was already pulling the zipper down his husband's coat.

It was when he got it past Axel's sternum that Roxas had to choke on his breath and duck his head.

Because Axel's chest was nearly purple with bruises, and Roxas knew the kind. It wasn't from being hit. Those were surgical bruises, broken-bone bruises, and they kept going as he kept pulling at the zipper, down and the injuries extended all the way to his stomach. All the way down his ribcage.

"Axel," he breathed out, looking up with a broken expression. "What--?"

[memorizethefire]

Axel didn't even make a move to stop him. He didn't have the energy to.

"I'm fine... Okay, I will be fine. They just..." A hand gestured down at himself before falling limp at his side. "Thought it'd be a good idea to give me a reminder. At least they sewed me up nice, huh?"

He laughed shortly, wincing when it moved his ribs too much.

[shardsofmemory]

"This isn't well-done," the blonde hissed. He was slipping into work-mode, because it was easier than dealing with the idea that this was his fault. With practiced hands Roxas slid Axel's coat off his shoulders and pressed with gentle fingers at the bruises.

It felt like broken ribs, half-healed, and not well. Roxas frowned, murmuring about the quality again. He still had bandages, and disinfectant, which he fished out of his pocket. There was salve in a tiny tube, which was painkilling and helped relax muscles so he could bandage Axel's chest properly.

"Is this all they did?" He couldn't look up, continuing to prod at Axel's ribs.

[memorizethefire]

"Yeah, didn't have to do more," he held back any winces or groans of pain, trying to keep as still and quiet as he can so Roxas can work. He couldn't help it, though, as Roxas touched one spot just wrong and he tensed, gritting his teeth. "Still didn't-- get off easy though."

[shardsofmemory]

"Sorry," Roxas murmured, bowing his head for a moment, and then, "can you sit up? Just a little, I have to clean..." His skin wasn't bloodied but it was a matter of hygiene, and a way to explore the injury without poking and prodding and hurting Axel anymore.

[memorizethefire]

"Yeah--" He pushed himself up straighter on the wall with only a grunt at the pain. "Don't be sorry, Rox, if you weren't here it'd probably heal all wrong and I'd look a lot like my Assassins."

[shardsofmemory]

Roxas opened the bottle of antiseptic to pour onto a cloth, a strip of absorbent fabric stolen from some city, that he disinfected and washed every time. Wiping it gently across Axel's chest, Roxas thoroughly cleaned a cut he'd only just noticed on his shoulder, and worked his way down all the wy to the hem of Axel's pants. He was almost too gentle, taking his time, the only sounds their breathing and the slight shift of cloth as Roxas moved.

He could hear, in Axel's breathing, that his ribs had been broken, and it was worrisome. Ribs could be hard to heal. It was a good thing they had the spells or Axel would be in trouble. He dampened the cloth one more time, to wipe over the worst of the bruising over where Axel's heart would be, exhaled softly, and looked up.

"That's not what I'm sorry about."

The words escaped before he could stop them, and Roxas immediately looked away, fingers tightening on the strip in his hand.

[memorizethefire]

Axel closed his eyes, just letting himself relax through the pain, which was lessened a lot by how gentle Roxas was being. His eyes flicked open at those words, though, quirking an eyebrow.

"What're you sorry for then?"

[shardsofmemory]

"Letting you die." His words trembled with his fingers, suddenly, and Roxas had to hold the cloth tighter to stop it. "Not watching right. I should have... stopped it."

[memorizethefire]

"You-- do you know who..?" Axel reached out, placing his hand over Roxas'. His voice was soft, not accusing at all.

[shardsofmemory]

Roxas nearly flinched away. He curled his hand into a fist tight enough some of the cleaning fluid ran in a clear trickle to drip onto Axel's stomach. Squeezing his eyes shut, he swallowed past the lump in his throat and nodded shallowly, breathing suddenly unsteady.

[memorizethefire]

"Roxas, tell me," he squeezed his hand more firmly, the other coming to rest under his chin.

[shardsofmemory]

Not meeting his eyes, Roxas nodded and swallowed again, trying to force the lump of guilt back down. It was fleeting, the actual guilt, but the physical effects certainly made themselves known and it was clear in voice when he finally answered, wavering.

"I was... reading a book. Waiting for you. And I wasn't... watching, and the fuzzy thing..."

[memorizethefire]

"II did it?" His body jerked as he laughed, one loud, barking laugh. "You're-- Roxas, really?"