I cannot overstate the problems we have caused
Who: Temari, Chouji
Where: Biodome
When: Voodoo week
Summary: Temari has had a couple of days to calm down after Chouji's little 'talk' with her earlier in the week. Time to try that again, with a bit of rational thought this time.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Sexual topics, Temari being an emotionally repressed, vicious bitch
Temari had a temper. No one would argue that statement. She had a long past of structural damage and a body count that provided more than enough evidence. However, as brightly as her temper would burn, it would burn out quickly. She was not the type to carry a grudge.
After she had worked herself down from her encounter with Chouji, Temari had calmed down and actually thought about what had happened. In the end, she had to admit that taking out her frustration on Chouji probably had not been the right answer. Looking at it objectively, the Leaf shinobi had been nothing but friendly and thoughtful in all of his encounters with her. As confusing as it was, he was loyal and concerned even though she was a virtual stranger.
The kunoichi rubbed her temples as she walked into the biodome. She was learning his chakra signature well enough to track it, and she wanted to deal with this. It was an odd mirror image of their earlier encounter, with her hunting him down. Hopefully he wouldn't have the hostile reaction she had.
The week had started off surprisingly quiet. Chouji immediately set off for the biodome, feelings of exhaustion and guilt warring with one another to leave a nauseated hollow in his gut. Yet another week had passed where the doctors had done something to his head, or to everyone, and Shikamaru had been injured. He thought he was over it but every so often what Temari had said pinged him, mixed with that guilt, and made him seek out solitude to brood.
Of course, there wasn't much in the way of 'solitude' here. He stretched and dropped his chin to his palms, braced on the edge of the bridge railing, and watched the water swirling underneath. It was lucky that bridge was still in one piece, he reflected, amused. The biodome was trashed weekly. It was almost a given by now.
Temari stepped up beside him, doing nothing to mask her presence. She didn't want to sneak up on him. If he wanted to leave, she wouldn't give chase. Considering her prior behavior, it wouldn't have been shocking. There was a reason she didn't have a lot of friends.
"Hey." She leaned against the rail next to him, watching the water rushing along underneath them. The water was definitely better than the brown sludge of the previous week. There was a short pause while she gathered herself up and figured out how she wanted to start this. "Mind the company, or do you want me to go pound sand?"
Chouji's head lifted and he blinked at her, startled out of his reverie. "Um. Hey," he greeted awkwardly, unsure why she was there but unwilling to ignore the company. What would she want with him..? She'd made her feelings pretty clear. Uncertainty kept him rooted in place, along with the guilt from before.
If she came to tell him off, he'd stay and listen. Heck, he probably deserved it after letting Shikamaru almost die again. Maybe she'd had a point with all that talk of being a sub-par boyfriend from before.
He managed a weak grin anyway.
"I'm not going to say it twice. Or probably ever again. But I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that." Temari wasn't looking at him, instead keeping her gaze on the water running underneath them. "I'll give you credit for balls, though. I can't believe you just brought it up like that. You sure you're not going to go for S-rank missions?"
She was chuckling a bit under her breath. Her brothers were considered elites, and they sure as hell weren't willing to make her that angry. Not very many people were. Courage was something she could respect, even when it pissed her off.
"Well..." Chouji's shoulders rolled in a shrug and his mouth quirked in a broader smile than before. "There's some reassurance knowing if you did get mad enough, I'd be back on reset."
It was an attempt at a joke, if a morbid one. He rubbed his nose and echoed her quiet laugh under his own breath, amused at himself. To think a few short months ago, it never would've occured to him to tease about something like death. The consortium really did a number on one's brain after awhile.
"It's okay," he reassured finally, "I did deserve it a little."
"You did stick your nose where it wasn't wanted. But you might be right. Pretending things didn't happen isn't going to make it go away." Temari crossed her arms on the rail and leaned down so that her chin was resting on them. It was a relaxed, casual pose, completely at odds with her previous conversation. "I don't think we need to act on anything, but clearing the air might be essential in this place. If you're still willing."
This place had warped them both. Worrying about the impact of social tension had never happened before, but in such tight quarters, it could get them all killed. Chouji gave no indication of being someone that would fling her mistakes back into her face, even when she deserved it, and it made this somewhat easier.
Chouji grunted a noise of agreement and slouched further, his weight shifting into a more relaxed slump than before. He dug through one pocket and tugged a bag free with the wrinkling crackle of aluminum foil. "Well," he popped the chips open with practiced ease and crunched on several, extending the bag in offering Temari's way.
"I'll listen if you want to talk?"
And keep his mouth shut this time, too. The chips were probably totally lost on her, but sharing food was his best 'truce flag' and friendship sacrifice.
Temari eyed the bag of snacks for a second before taking one. It wasn't a snack she indulged in a lot back home, but the appeal grew considerably when the other option was nutrient bars. "Thanks."
They crunched in silence for a moment while the kunoichi pulled her thoughts back together. Her experience in dealing with emotional issues was woefully lacking, as evidenced by how often she screwed them up. She could hear her father's voice in her head, intoning to his unwanted daughter that attachments were not for shinobi. Her duty was to the Kazekage and her village only, other ties would only make her useless.
"You're right. I am scared of losing the way things are with Shikamaru. I have nowhere to complain, since I have both brothers with me, but not having him in that spot is . . . an unpleasant thought. I didn't have friends back home, and they're in very short supply here."
Chouji almost choked on his chips at her admission, and a hand lifted and fisted so he could thump himself once in the chest to clear his airway. After a few short congested coughs he nodded, eyes watering, and flashed her a weak grin.
"You won't lose anything. Well, unless the consortium decides to pull us out of here and send us home."
She gave him a look that clearly expressed just how much she didn't want to hear about the Consortium sending anyone back. Since 'sending them home' seemed to involve an incinerator. Even she knew better than to bring that up.
"I can lose everything. In some ways, I think I should let it happen. But I won't. I don't want to lose anything else to this place." Temari continued to watch the water, almost like she was ignoring Chouji even as she talked to him. "Do they send us home or not? I don't know, so I'm going to assume they don't. I'm going to assume they don't, that when it's over here, we die. I'm going to assume there are no second chances. Nothing is going to change with Shikamaru. I talked to him."
Chouji's chin dipped in a nod, relieved, but cautiously so. She could mean a lot with 'nothing will change,' which could take their talk into dangerous territory again if she started assuming he was being jealous. The rest - well, he didn't want to see the person who spent as much time as Temari in a place like this and didn't go a little sour.
"If life's gonna be that short, you have to take whatever it offers you," he agreed, popping another chip in his mouth. "And hang onto whats important with both hands. I'm glad you guys talked," his eyes lowered to watch the water along with hers.
"I was hoping you would... What do you want to happen now?"
"I don't know. I told him I was reevaluating our relationship. The way it had become . . . that's not going to work." She sighed, rubbing at her temples. It wasn't what she truly wanted, but it was what had to happen in order to keep Shikamaru around her. Temari had told him that she was not going to be a problem in their relationship, and she intended to keep her word.
"I do need to figure out what to do with us." She finally looked over at him. "Outside of a horizontal position, this is about the longest we've spent together."
"You're terrifying," Chouji pointed out easily, one shoulder rolling in a good-natured shrug. "And I never thought before ... um," he flushed and coughed, soldiering on, "I never thought you'd want anything to do with someone like me. So I dunno either," he rubbed the back of his neck and frowned, "I'd like to be friends at least..."
That was enough to set her off laughing. She was getting somewhat used to being called terrifying, even by other shinobi. "Terrifying, huh? Then I'm even more impressed with your guts."
She propped her chin in her hand, looking the teen over. "I didn't know you, and honestly, I'm not the kind of person I would see you spending any social time with, but there's nothing wrong with you. I lost my impulse control, not my mind. I figured the issue was with me."
Chouji blinked in surprise. "What issue?" he finally asked, since it kept coming up in some form or another. He had a nagging suspicion it was Temari's low self-esteem - not that he mentally called it that - playing into this. She self-depreciated herself a lot. Chouji found it secretly amusing that the one thing they shared in common, aside from Shikamaru, was their own feeling of low self-worth.
"I told you, you're a good person. Even with all the stuff the consortium keeps doing, you've still maintained that. You've been a great friend to Shikamaru, you're loyal, all the qualities of someone I wouldn't mind getting to know better."
It hadn't been lost on her that they did share that. She'd seen it when he'd been so uncertain with her and Shikamaru, as if he expected to be rejected at any second. That was something she could completely understand, and had turned the experience from something of a mission to something else entirely. Trying to show Chouji that she really did want him, that it wasn't just for show. Something she could look back at and not feel guilty about. At least that one part could be seen as a positive.
"I guess it depends on who's looking to determine what kind of person I am." To some people, she was a vicious bitch that they just didn't want to deal with. Others saw someone that would kill without batting an eyelash or any remorse. To others, she was a protector and a big sister. She didn't have the time or patience to make friends just to make friends. If she didn't have an interest in someone, she didn't waste the effort. "You're sure you want to get to know me? Loyal, yes, but I'm sure Shikamaru has informed you just how troublesome I am."
Chouji grunted and wrinkled his nose at her with the force of his smile. "Pretty sure, yeah. And you're not so bad, have you met Ino? She's one of my closest friends and she's impossible sometimes. Everyone can be pretty troublesome now and then, I'm probably not too great to be around all the time either."
He poked two fingers in the bag and peered down at it, surprised. Out of chips already...? He wadded up the bag and shoved it into one pocket, rather than throwing it on the ground. "Plus, depending on who you ask, you'll hear varied opinions on me too. Or on Shikamaru. I'll make my own assessments over time. I like what I see so far, so that's a start?"
"Yes. I've met Ino. We didn't get along. At all." Temari looked back down at the water again, mulling her thoughts around. She wasn't used to having someone blatantly asking for a chance to get to know her.
She shrugged finally. It wasn't something she could fight against, if she wanted Shikamaru around her still. There had to be some sort of arrangement between herself and Chouji, and preferably something that would result in all three of them being comfortable spending time together. "You've seen everything I've got, so that's somewhere to start. We'll just have to fill in the rest."
Chouji shrugged, an unconscious mimic of hers, and smiled out over the water. "Alright."
She'd seen all he had too, so at least they were past that awkwardness. Hopefully. The rest was just them trying to work on and iron out a tentative friendship.
Where: Biodome
When: Voodoo week
Summary: Temari has had a couple of days to calm down after Chouji's little 'talk' with her earlier in the week. Time to try that again, with a bit of rational thought this time.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Sexual topics, Temari being an emotionally repressed, vicious bitch
Temari had a temper. No one would argue that statement. She had a long past of structural damage and a body count that provided more than enough evidence. However, as brightly as her temper would burn, it would burn out quickly. She was not the type to carry a grudge.
After she had worked herself down from her encounter with Chouji, Temari had calmed down and actually thought about what had happened. In the end, she had to admit that taking out her frustration on Chouji probably had not been the right answer. Looking at it objectively, the Leaf shinobi had been nothing but friendly and thoughtful in all of his encounters with her. As confusing as it was, he was loyal and concerned even though she was a virtual stranger.
The kunoichi rubbed her temples as she walked into the biodome. She was learning his chakra signature well enough to track it, and she wanted to deal with this. It was an odd mirror image of their earlier encounter, with her hunting him down. Hopefully he wouldn't have the hostile reaction she had.
The week had started off surprisingly quiet. Chouji immediately set off for the biodome, feelings of exhaustion and guilt warring with one another to leave a nauseated hollow in his gut. Yet another week had passed where the doctors had done something to his head, or to everyone, and Shikamaru had been injured. He thought he was over it but every so often what Temari had said pinged him, mixed with that guilt, and made him seek out solitude to brood.
Of course, there wasn't much in the way of 'solitude' here. He stretched and dropped his chin to his palms, braced on the edge of the bridge railing, and watched the water swirling underneath. It was lucky that bridge was still in one piece, he reflected, amused. The biodome was trashed weekly. It was almost a given by now.
Temari stepped up beside him, doing nothing to mask her presence. She didn't want to sneak up on him. If he wanted to leave, she wouldn't give chase. Considering her prior behavior, it wouldn't have been shocking. There was a reason she didn't have a lot of friends.
"Hey." She leaned against the rail next to him, watching the water rushing along underneath them. The water was definitely better than the brown sludge of the previous week. There was a short pause while she gathered herself up and figured out how she wanted to start this. "Mind the company, or do you want me to go pound sand?"
Chouji's head lifted and he blinked at her, startled out of his reverie. "Um. Hey," he greeted awkwardly, unsure why she was there but unwilling to ignore the company. What would she want with him..? She'd made her feelings pretty clear. Uncertainty kept him rooted in place, along with the guilt from before.
If she came to tell him off, he'd stay and listen. Heck, he probably deserved it after letting Shikamaru almost die again. Maybe she'd had a point with all that talk of being a sub-par boyfriend from before.
He managed a weak grin anyway.
"I'm not going to say it twice. Or probably ever again. But I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that." Temari wasn't looking at him, instead keeping her gaze on the water running underneath them. "I'll give you credit for balls, though. I can't believe you just brought it up like that. You sure you're not going to go for S-rank missions?"
She was chuckling a bit under her breath. Her brothers were considered elites, and they sure as hell weren't willing to make her that angry. Not very many people were. Courage was something she could respect, even when it pissed her off.
"Well..." Chouji's shoulders rolled in a shrug and his mouth quirked in a broader smile than before. "There's some reassurance knowing if you did get mad enough, I'd be back on reset."
It was an attempt at a joke, if a morbid one. He rubbed his nose and echoed her quiet laugh under his own breath, amused at himself. To think a few short months ago, it never would've occured to him to tease about something like death. The consortium really did a number on one's brain after awhile.
"It's okay," he reassured finally, "I did deserve it a little."
"You did stick your nose where it wasn't wanted. But you might be right. Pretending things didn't happen isn't going to make it go away." Temari crossed her arms on the rail and leaned down so that her chin was resting on them. It was a relaxed, casual pose, completely at odds with her previous conversation. "I don't think we need to act on anything, but clearing the air might be essential in this place. If you're still willing."
This place had warped them both. Worrying about the impact of social tension had never happened before, but in such tight quarters, it could get them all killed. Chouji gave no indication of being someone that would fling her mistakes back into her face, even when she deserved it, and it made this somewhat easier.
Chouji grunted a noise of agreement and slouched further, his weight shifting into a more relaxed slump than before. He dug through one pocket and tugged a bag free with the wrinkling crackle of aluminum foil. "Well," he popped the chips open with practiced ease and crunched on several, extending the bag in offering Temari's way.
"I'll listen if you want to talk?"
And keep his mouth shut this time, too. The chips were probably totally lost on her, but sharing food was his best 'truce flag' and friendship sacrifice.
Temari eyed the bag of snacks for a second before taking one. It wasn't a snack she indulged in a lot back home, but the appeal grew considerably when the other option was nutrient bars. "Thanks."
They crunched in silence for a moment while the kunoichi pulled her thoughts back together. Her experience in dealing with emotional issues was woefully lacking, as evidenced by how often she screwed them up. She could hear her father's voice in her head, intoning to his unwanted daughter that attachments were not for shinobi. Her duty was to the Kazekage and her village only, other ties would only make her useless.
"You're right. I am scared of losing the way things are with Shikamaru. I have nowhere to complain, since I have both brothers with me, but not having him in that spot is . . . an unpleasant thought. I didn't have friends back home, and they're in very short supply here."
Chouji almost choked on his chips at her admission, and a hand lifted and fisted so he could thump himself once in the chest to clear his airway. After a few short congested coughs he nodded, eyes watering, and flashed her a weak grin.
"You won't lose anything. Well, unless the consortium decides to pull us out of here and send us home."
She gave him a look that clearly expressed just how much she didn't want to hear about the Consortium sending anyone back. Since 'sending them home' seemed to involve an incinerator. Even she knew better than to bring that up.
"I can lose everything. In some ways, I think I should let it happen. But I won't. I don't want to lose anything else to this place." Temari continued to watch the water, almost like she was ignoring Chouji even as she talked to him. "Do they send us home or not? I don't know, so I'm going to assume they don't. I'm going to assume they don't, that when it's over here, we die. I'm going to assume there are no second chances. Nothing is going to change with Shikamaru. I talked to him."
Chouji's chin dipped in a nod, relieved, but cautiously so. She could mean a lot with 'nothing will change,' which could take their talk into dangerous territory again if she started assuming he was being jealous. The rest - well, he didn't want to see the person who spent as much time as Temari in a place like this and didn't go a little sour.
"If life's gonna be that short, you have to take whatever it offers you," he agreed, popping another chip in his mouth. "And hang onto whats important with both hands. I'm glad you guys talked," his eyes lowered to watch the water along with hers.
"I was hoping you would... What do you want to happen now?"
"I don't know. I told him I was reevaluating our relationship. The way it had become . . . that's not going to work." She sighed, rubbing at her temples. It wasn't what she truly wanted, but it was what had to happen in order to keep Shikamaru around her. Temari had told him that she was not going to be a problem in their relationship, and she intended to keep her word.
"I do need to figure out what to do with us." She finally looked over at him. "Outside of a horizontal position, this is about the longest we've spent together."
"You're terrifying," Chouji pointed out easily, one shoulder rolling in a good-natured shrug. "And I never thought before ... um," he flushed and coughed, soldiering on, "I never thought you'd want anything to do with someone like me. So I dunno either," he rubbed the back of his neck and frowned, "I'd like to be friends at least..."
That was enough to set her off laughing. She was getting somewhat used to being called terrifying, even by other shinobi. "Terrifying, huh? Then I'm even more impressed with your guts."
She propped her chin in her hand, looking the teen over. "I didn't know you, and honestly, I'm not the kind of person I would see you spending any social time with, but there's nothing wrong with you. I lost my impulse control, not my mind. I figured the issue was with me."
Chouji blinked in surprise. "What issue?" he finally asked, since it kept coming up in some form or another. He had a nagging suspicion it was Temari's low self-esteem - not that he mentally called it that - playing into this. She self-depreciated herself a lot. Chouji found it secretly amusing that the one thing they shared in common, aside from Shikamaru, was their own feeling of low self-worth.
"I told you, you're a good person. Even with all the stuff the consortium keeps doing, you've still maintained that. You've been a great friend to Shikamaru, you're loyal, all the qualities of someone I wouldn't mind getting to know better."
It hadn't been lost on her that they did share that. She'd seen it when he'd been so uncertain with her and Shikamaru, as if he expected to be rejected at any second. That was something she could completely understand, and had turned the experience from something of a mission to something else entirely. Trying to show Chouji that she really did want him, that it wasn't just for show. Something she could look back at and not feel guilty about. At least that one part could be seen as a positive.
"I guess it depends on who's looking to determine what kind of person I am." To some people, she was a vicious bitch that they just didn't want to deal with. Others saw someone that would kill without batting an eyelash or any remorse. To others, she was a protector and a big sister. She didn't have the time or patience to make friends just to make friends. If she didn't have an interest in someone, she didn't waste the effort. "You're sure you want to get to know me? Loyal, yes, but I'm sure Shikamaru has informed you just how troublesome I am."
Chouji grunted and wrinkled his nose at her with the force of his smile. "Pretty sure, yeah. And you're not so bad, have you met Ino? She's one of my closest friends and she's impossible sometimes. Everyone can be pretty troublesome now and then, I'm probably not too great to be around all the time either."
He poked two fingers in the bag and peered down at it, surprised. Out of chips already...? He wadded up the bag and shoved it into one pocket, rather than throwing it on the ground. "Plus, depending on who you ask, you'll hear varied opinions on me too. Or on Shikamaru. I'll make my own assessments over time. I like what I see so far, so that's a start?"
"Yes. I've met Ino. We didn't get along. At all." Temari looked back down at the water again, mulling her thoughts around. She wasn't used to having someone blatantly asking for a chance to get to know her.
She shrugged finally. It wasn't something she could fight against, if she wanted Shikamaru around her still. There had to be some sort of arrangement between herself and Chouji, and preferably something that would result in all three of them being comfortable spending time together. "You've seen everything I've got, so that's somewhere to start. We'll just have to fill in the rest."
Chouji shrugged, an unconscious mimic of hers, and smiled out over the water. "Alright."
She'd seen all he had too, so at least they were past that awkwardness. Hopefully. The rest was just them trying to work on and iron out a tentative friendship.