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Checks and Balances

Jan 31, 2010 18:45

Who: Kanda Yu & Uchiha Itachi
When: Sunday Evening - Age regression week
Where: Itachi's room 17D
Summary: Kanda can't get the events of last week out of his head, and decides he needs to have a talk with Itachi.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Yelling, swearing, boyboy cute, a little violence, blood and a severed arm.

( Balancing two hearts can be hard sometimes, but in the end worth it... )

kanda yu, *complete, uchiha itachi

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kanda_exorcist February 1 2010, 00:30:12 UTC

Kanda wasted no time, reaching out for the door handle with his right hand, and opening the door. His left shoulder and chest where he had been sliced through last week, were still heavily bandaged. As he came in the room he did his best not to limp.

Shutting the door behind him, Kanda nodded his hello to his partner, a slight smile on his face even though he intended this meeting to be more serious. The exorcist resisted the urge to lean against the door, and instead moved closer to Itachi. "I'm glad to see you haven't shrunk."

purevermillion February 1 2010, 01:29:55 UTC

The moment the exorcist entered, Itachi made his way to his side offering the bed for Kanda to sit. They both knew that when it came to positions, they were equals. However, Itachi wouldn't forget those wounds that he himself had witnessed. Kanda didn't have to feign bravery. He knew Itachi held high esteem and respect. They were allowed to take a break from their usual unemotional behavior.

"I was far more damned at the age of five than I am now." He muttered as he reached to touch at Kanda's cheek. "Sit."

He could still remember that face when death had claimed it. Those eyes that had been almost white were now blue, that cheek was so warm, even now as his fingertip grazed against it he could see the beginning of a pink tinge. There were so many things to see upon that face when it was filled with life. He was too busy cherishing it in his own way that he hadn't noticed Kanda's true intentions for the meeting.

kanda_exorcist February 1 2010, 01:52:29 UTC

Kanda leaned in to that hand against his cheek, eyes closing for a moment. It always amazed him how even the smallest of touches could make him feel so many good things at once. He nodded, brushing his lips against those fingers before tottering over to the bed and sitting carefully. There were many more bandages and bruises under his button-down shirt and black pants.

He looked up at Itachi, biting his lip as he thought of what to say. Last week had been hell for him. Too many memories about his past were relived, he just thanked whatever God was out there that he didn't have to kill anyone.

"'Tachi... I think we should talk about last week." He said a bit hesitantly.

purevermillion February 1 2010, 02:45:31 UTC

The Uchiha tilted his head, his fingers pausing over that cheek as red eyes stared into blue. He hadn't noticed it yet,but Kanda was acting a bit differently. There was a bit more stiffness in his affections,as if he didn't want to get too close. It wasn't until Kanda's question was made clear.

"Last week."

His hand moved down to the exorcist's shoulder while red eyes did not move from that face. Itachi could easily guess at what was bothering Kanda's mind but he stayed silent. He would listen to him, it was the respect that his exorcist earned. There were certain things to discuss in the end.

"Speak."

kanda_exorcist February 1 2010, 03:05:09 UTC

Kanda cleared his throat, thankful he was sitting so he could be more relaxed.

"I think it is fair to say we were an opposing sides last week. Though not physically, we still could not see eye to eye in our opinions." He swallowed, allowing time for himself to think between his words. He didn't want to offend Itachi accidentally.

"I am an exorcist. I kill demons and akuma and Noah. Things that are evil, that threaten the human race. And..." He stops again. Memories of his childhood, if you could even call it that, flooding his mind. "I have only killed one person. Under orders and duress. I cannot kill a defenseless person. It doesn't matter what they've done, I can't do it. Nor can I allow it to happen when I can stop it."

He lets out his breathe, as if he was holding all of it in. "All the useless bloodshed of last week has been haunting me..." There, he had said his share. He nodded to Itachi, it was now time for him to share what he would.

purevermillion February 1 2010, 04:23:19 UTC

Itachi had not sat down when his exorcist took his his place on his bed. The hand on Kanda's shoulder slowly began to slip away until it had finally taken its rightful place within his coat. It was the Uchiha's typical way of showing his detachment. Every single word spoken by the exorcist's lips was absorbed and digested. The topic was a morbid one for the two. During their entire allegiance within the facility, they had never been on opposing sides. Last week had shaken their foundations ( ... )

kanda_exorcist February 1 2010, 04:42:46 UTC

Kanda frowned slightly at the lose of contact. He hoped he hadn't offended him. He listened intently to everything Itachi was saying, but there was still something bothering him.

"I understand we come from different ways of living. I do. Nor do I deny that humans themselves can be demons. I think you will agree that I know the sins of men. I was born from it." He swallowed, trying to control that trigger that threatened to make him lose his thoughts and just yell.

Another deep breath and his voice was calm once again. "And even so, I could not kill those people, the thought had never seriously crossed my mind. The want to be free and the need to kill are separate in my mind."

"That woman you threatened did not need to die, nor did that other civilian Sasuke flayed. That wasn't peace. That was revenge. And revenge does nothing but make things worse..."

purevermillion February 1 2010, 13:51:14 UTC

"And how does the murder of useless swine make things worse ( ... )

kanda_exorcist February 1 2010, 19:17:50 UTC

"It's completely unnecessary, that's what it is!"

One thing most people did not know about Kanda was his passion, which he usually channeled into rage or complete and deadly silence. There were few things he held close to his heart, but when his ideals were threatened, Kanda hardened just as Itachi did. He stood up suddenly, wincing at the sudden jolt but not caring anymore. He could not sit for this conversation anymore. It was a battle of wills now, he would not look up to Itachi for this conversation any longer.

"Everyone that's not on your side? I wasn't exactly on your side last week Itachi, so what did that make me?! Those doctors aren't replaceable, once they're dead they're gone! And not all of them were bad, three of them were trying to help us! And one of them ended up as a smear on the wall! What a thankful lot we all are, killing a man that was trying to help us ( ... )

purevermillion February 1 2010, 23:12:01 UTC

"How utterly foolish."

When Kanda stood up Itachi's eyes darkened, the tomoe in his eyes turning eerily out of habit than actual threat. He would never raise a hand against his exorcist. There was far too much respect between them for him to ever even think of hurting him. Kanda's screaming didn't even phase the Uchiha as he took a step forward. Regardless, there was no way he was losing any honor for this.

"There are always those select few who never quite seem to make up their mind. One minute they stand opposing one side, and the next they convert. They are not our problem. The main objective, in this case, was the doctors. A group of willing workers. So they grew compassion, perhaps they grew some shame at how inhuman our treatment had been. Maybe even some pity. It means nothing when the act was set into motion and never ended by their own hand. Can you blame the rest? Does it not anger you when you look upon their faces ( ... )

kanda_exorcist February 2 2010, 00:07:37 UTC

Kanda was taken aback by Itachi's words. "Foolish?!" His eyes were wide for a moment as his thought came to a screeching halt ( ... )

purevermillion February 2 2010, 01:16:40 UTC

"How can I understand your compassion, Kanda, when I had you lying lifeless in my arms?"

The Uchiha didn't even hesitate at speaking his mind. Clearly, Kanda wasn't going to let him off as peacefully as he would have liked but it had to be said. Itachi was sure he was in the right. His gaze wavered for a moment as he contemplated moving away. He didn't like fighting with his exorcist but he didn't like being scolded either. After a few moments, he glared at Kanda again.

"How can you protect those who tried to kill you, who tried to take you away from me when you promised me you would never put yourself in that situation? Have your forgotten you word? Do you care for them so much you would give your very life for them? Foolishness, Kanda. Such foolishness. If you wish to sacrifice your own life for them, then do as you see fit. Do not expect me to follow in your footsteps or recognize it as honorable."

kanda_exorcist February 2 2010, 02:11:05 UTC

"How can you scold me for something I had no control over! Even though I am here, I am still a member of the Black Order and I will fight for what I think is right. Most of those idiots didn't even want to question them, just kill. How was that constructive in the least?!"

Through his yelling, the yelling of his last name did not go unnoticed. Itachi was the one person he allowed to use his first name, that change alone let Kanda know he had upset him.

"Dammit Itachi, you make it sound like I died intentionally! I stand up for what I believe in, if that's not honorable I don't know what is! I wasn't intending to die, and I came back to you didn't I?! I'm here, aren't I?!"

purevermillion February 2 2010, 15:11:09 UTC

"You were attacked while trying to defend the doctors. You were distracted. Had you no concern for those worthless fools you would have not been in that place to begin with. Had you not been there, they would have never harmed you..."

Itachi's voice faded for a few moments. In all honesty, he felt responsible for Kanda's ailment. Considering the fact that Itachi was also present at the time, it was his fault for not paying attention and preventing the attack on his person. Itachi had been too busy looking for that damned doctor that when he saw Kanda fall it had all ready been too late. It wasn't exactly his fault and he knew it, Kanda knew how to defend himself and if he were ever to need any help all he had to do was call on him. He hadn't. He couldn't. When he spoke again, his tone was low and cold. Here he was, that ruthlessness and emotionless Itachi everyone from his world knew him by.

"Are you calling me an idiot? I am not most of those, Kanda. Why are you expecting an explanation for the actions of others from me? You know ( ... )

kanda_exorcist February 2 2010, 21:21:35 UTC

"Itachi! I think sometimes you forget that I am also a soldier. Yes, I was distracted, and it is my shame to bear that I lost to such an opponent. But I think you should focus more on the fact that I was singled out and killed, no matter what the circumstances are ( ... )

purevermillion February 3 2010, 15:43:40 UTC

"Have you not paid any heed to my words? Have your eyes shut themselves through your rage?"

Kanda wasn't listening or looking beyond the difference in morals and it was frustrating the Uchiha beyond measure. He had kept his word and by doing so he had respected Kanda's beliefs. The fact the exorcist was attacking him for having different views was a clear show of disrespect. They were different but they were equals. Ideals had to be respected regardless. Itachi was no fool, he could sense that restraint for attacking in the other and it was terrible. Was he not different from the rest? Did Kanda really wish to attack him? He digested every personal complaint the man threw at his face until the subject of Sasuke came up and the exorcist made to walk away ( ... )

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