Searching for your heart in this darkness...

[velvet_zero]

Who: Minato and Yoite
When: after this: Minato , Yoite
Where: An empty suite
Summary: Yoite's gone missing after Minato slipped and said more than the other was ready to hear. In a frantic state of terror, Minato has rushed out to start searching the facility along with Allen's help. He knows he'll probably be in an empty suite and after what felt

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[velvet_zero]

Minato tried to hide the fact that he was shaking, trembling with sobs that rocked his entire body. He finally managed to pull himself up off of his face, settling on his hands and knees. Slightly dampened Blue hair hung stringy and damp, and he winced at the pain that was still burning brightly in his knee. It was then that he thought he heard something moving. Was it his imagination? The distressed persona user tried to catch his breath before speaking again.

"Yoite...you can't leave me yet. You said we'd protect each other. We promised." Minato winced as he rolled into an almost sitting position, giving up on moving until his mind and body calmed down some. Part of him hoped he was talking to yet another empty room. "Please...please don't leave me alone like this." The persona-user's voice started to fail him again, and the words he had spoken broke up into sobs that made his shoulders shake, one hand clamped over his face in a useless attempt at hiding it.

It was hard. This was one of the hardest things he'd faced. Was it because he'd said that he could love him? Minato didn't want to think of that. He didn't want that to be the case. Yoite deserved to be loved; to be held and cherished. If it wasn't true then the boy from the Velvet Room never would have been so inexplicably drawn to him. The Kira-user had brought him so much joy. He had wanted to reciprocate that so badly.

"Yoite...it's lonely. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever I said. Please forgive me..." His words descended into senseless babble broken by sobs. Where had he gone? Minato didn't want to lose anymore precious time.

[hot_lemonade]

It was tempting, to reach out to him. He had promised, but he was frightened. He didn't want to be loved, and if Minato fell in love with him, then he didn't know what to think. They were both boys, and society tended to look down on that he knew, not that he cared, but still... He didn't know how to love someone back and it seemed loving someone and not being loved back in the same way was something painful. From watching others he knew it was something that hurt...

And well, he didn't want Minato to hurt, but at the same time he was hurting now and Yoite was so confused. He wanted to reach out. Wanted it so bad. He wanted to wipe those tears away and tell him to stop crying.

It took a moment, before he finally moved out of his corner, and moved over, putting one hand on his head, gently petting his hair.

[velvet_zero]

Minato jumped just slightly when he felt someone touch him. it was Yoite's hand, fingers gently twining through his hair. It was like a million pounds of weight had fallen off of his shoulders. As long as he was okay. The persona-user was worrying almost instantly though.

"Thank the gods Yoite. Are you okay?" He was having trouble controlling his body now, the sobs refusing to stop. Minato had been so frightened, so god-awfully terrified that he hadn't known what to do with himself. Part of him felt like he could probably be fine with just knowing that Yoite was alright. The other part of him was so happy to see (or in this case feel) the other boy that he almost turned and kissed him full on the mouth. "You scared the crap out of me...Yoite..." He reveled in the feeling of the other's touch and wiped at his eyes.

[hot_lemonade]

Yoite almost pulled his hand back, but forced himself not to, still gently petting Minato's blue hair. All that kept on repeating in his mind was that he'd hurt him, and that he didn't deserve being here with him. He'd done something that he hadn't wanted to and hurt him and now the other was crying because of him. Yoite felt almost like as if his heart was breaking.

"... Why. Why are you worrying about me...?" He asked, removing his hand. His eyes were stinging, vision going more blurry than usual. "Why... This... You're crying because of me..." He mumbled, sounding about to cry and for the first time in a long time, the young male felt tears run down his face and he was suddenly glad it was dark. He didn't want to be seen like this.

"I hurt you..." He muttered, whimpering softly, and it was painfully obvious from the sound of his voice that he was crying. He felt so pathetic. He was supposed to be a Shinigami. He had thrown away his emotions... But suddenly he felt like this and was crying. He wasn't sure about anything any more. He was confused and hated it.

[velvet_zero]

"Yoite, you didn't make me cry...I'm crying for you because I was afraid I'd hurt you or said something bad." Minato struggled to catch his breath, his sobs more violent than he realized. He groped the darkness, taking the hand that had been on his head and cradling it gently against his face, hoping to give comfort while not touching him too much. The blue-haired boy brushed his lips against the back of Yoite's gloved knuckles and shook his head slowly.

"We all hurt each other and we forgive each other. That's what it means to have an important person..." He said, his voice still strained but his sobs a little less prominent. Yoite was crying, Minato was sure of it, and he could hardly stand it. The persona-user didn't know what he would be allowed to do.

"Yoite can I...Can I touch you? Let me hold on until I feel better...please?" He wouldn't push it if he said no, but Minato felt like he was falling through empty space, and desperately needed something to anchor him.

[hot_lemonade]

Yoite felt himself start to tremble when the other grasped his hand and his long fingers twitched lightly, as if he wanted to pull his hand away. He didn't though, not yet. He didn't want to hurt the other boy more than he already had and it seemed he had hurt him pretty badly. Worried him. And he hated himself for it so much. He always did hurt those around him.

Having people close was hard. There was a reason he had built a wall between himself and the world, and this was why. Because he hurt people who shouldn't be hurt. It was too late to build a wall between himself and Minato though. He'd already let him too close to be able to push him away now.

"Being with me will only cause you more pain... There is nothing I can give you, so stop... Stop being kind to me.. It hurts... I have nothing... Nothing I can give you... So stop it.. Stop being kind to me... Please..." He whimpered, pulling his hand away and shifting further away, backing off and curling up by the wall, wrapping his arms around himself.

He was crying more, sobbing softly and shuddering. He just didn't know what to do. He wanted to be close to Minato. But he just... He was afraid. He would die soon. And Minato would get hurt again. And he didn't want that at all.

[velvet_zero]

Minato felt Yoite shifting his hand, and it made him almost cringe. He was more than a little worried. It was the last thing he wanted to make Yoite upset or uncomfortable... but for once, his own desires were taking precedence.

"You're not going to hurt me. No one can hurt me if I don't let them and it's not hurting me if it's yours... you don't have to give me anything. Nothing. The only thing I want in the world is you Yoite, just you. You're more than enough. You're what I want." Minato was surprised at how much of his honesty was spilling past his lips, but Yoite had to hear it, deserved the truth.

"Yoite, please don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. And you can't hurt me. I'm only crying because I missed you. It's okay. It's going to be okay." The persona-user was reaching out, feeling in the darkness for wherever Yoite had retreated to. It didn't matter to him that he was going to die. It was fine. He knew that. "I want to spend every moment I can with you. I don't want to waste any of your time...our time."

[hot_lemonade]

A choked sound escaped Yoite as he listened, and he curled up more, starting to tremble and curl up more, into a little ball. Those words were confusing him. They were scaring him, making him panic, his mind racing to find a way to make the other understand that being involved with him would only hurt. He found no words to express it though, no first brick for the wall he wanted to build between them to protect Minato from him.

"Me... You want... Me..." He said, voice soft, barely above a whisper, "That's crazy... I'm just a broken puppet... There's nothing on the inside... There never was.. I don't even have a real name.... You're supposed to throw broken things away... I've always been broken... Always... I was never here from the start... I was never supposed to be born..."

Another whimper, and he glanced toward the door. He wanted to run, but he owed the other to at least listen. "... Time... I don't have much time... But how can I die in peace, when all these feelings are confusing me..."

[velvet_zero]

"no...don't say those things. Please. It hurts that you think those things about yourself." It was so strange that they could be so close, so alike and pleading for such different things. He needed to make him see, needed him to understand what he felt. But Minato couldn't put any of it into words. His body trembled, and he struggled not to start crying again. It was so unfair.

"It's not fair. It's just not... Yoite, you're so beautiful. Can't you see it? I don't want you to die... I don't want you to leave me alone but...if it's what you want then I'll just stay by your side until it's time. That's okay." Minato covered his face with his hands, a miserable sound escaping his mouth. It was too much, too much to think about. He couldn't stand it. The persona-user was beginning to feel as though his mind might really break.

"If I could...I'd keep you forever. I'm so sorry...I'm sorry that you're confused. I'm sorry if I hurt you." His voice was muffled by his hands, and he leaned forward, trying to stop the miserable sobs that were making his throat raw.

[hot_lemonade]

"It's the truth... I was never supposed to exist... I wasn't wanted... And I killed her. I killed her by being born... And I wasn't even the daughter she'd wanted... So I'm an annoying Shinigami... I wasn't supposed to be born..." Yoite muttered, still crying and the tears wouldn't stop. He didn't know why he told Minato these things. He just couldn't stop himself, he just. Had to say it.

Minato's pained sound hurt him too. He hated it. He hated knowing that he was the cause of his pain and he just wanted him to stop crying. He wanted him to be happy, not like this. Not in pain like this. It hurt him too.

"Minato..." He muttered, before he shifted and then moved closer to the other, slipping his arms around him, holding onto him and trembling, burying his face against his shoulder, closing his eyes.

[velvet_zero]

When Minato felt Yoite's arms come around him, he was trembling too. It felt like fate was being cruel, like he was just being taunted. It felt so good to touch the other like this, to be able to touch him. In the end, Yoite was the one holding him. It was almost painfully ironic.

"Yoite... it's not your fault...It's not your fault." It was all Minato could think to say as he thought about what the Kira-user had said. There was too much to think about. It was all so heavy. The only thing that felt right, that didn't hurt, was the feeling of Yoite's breath against his hair, the trembling fingertips on his back. Minato shifted, uncovering his tear-stained face as he reciprocated the embrace, burying his face in the younger boy's neck. He could feel his heartbeat, even though the turtleneck. So warm, so alive. The persona-user didn't ever want to think of him cold, motionless, dead. but he knew he had to.

"Yoite...it's going to be okay. I know it." He reaffirmed, hoping that he could believe it too.

[hot_lemonade]

Yoite could feel the older boy trembling too, and held a little tighter, though he was still being careful as if he thought he could break the other if he held too tightly. He was still trembling himself, scared and confused, but he wouldn't let go. It was becoming obvious that Minato wouldn't throw him away, so... He wanted to trust him. And wanted to trust himself to not hurt the other again. He didn't want to be the cause for his pain ever again. He didn't want to see him cry.

"I... Hope so.." He muttered in response, though he decided to not comment on the first thing the other had said. He wasn't sure what he'd say to that anyway, because he knew it was his fault. He'd always been blamed for it, so it had to be. He believed that it was.

He pressed a little closer to the other, and let out a soft sigh. "You're warm..."

[velvet_zero]

"Oh Yoite..." Minato took another haulting breath. It was going to be okay. He really felt like he could believe that. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent that he never wanted to forget. Like metal and cedar, that's what it reminded him of. He shifted to let the other press closer to him if he wanted and nuzzled the younger boy's hair, kissing his temple and letting out a long sigh of relief.

"Let's go together, okay? Maybe we just won't think about...well...you know. We'll just walk forward for as long as we can, alright?" Minato felt sure about this, something concrete and settled in his heart. He reached one hand up, comfortingly running his hands through the back of Yoite's hair. The crushing fear and pain that had blossomed so quickly was beginning to wilt slowly. It was easier to breath, and the tears were just falling gently now, the sobbing gone.

He was worried about the Kira-user's health, but wanted to wait to bring anything up. He didn't want to think about things, wanted to prolong this moment of near bliss.

[hot_lemonade]

Yoite did move closer to him, feeling comfortable because the other was so warm compared to him. He hoped the other didn't feel cold from their closeness though. He hoped that he too felt comfort in being close like this.

He just nodded slightly in response, afraid that he'd say something stupid if he tried to respond verbally. This felt like one of those situations where words weren't needed. He hoped it was at least, because he couldn't think of anything to say.

As he felt the other running his fingers through his hair, a soft adorable whimper escaped him, though this was because it felt sort of nice, and he couldn't help but shudder and arch a little before he blushed a little and nuzzled against him again.

[velvet_zero]

The sound that escaped Yoite's lips gave the persona-user goosebumps and he blushed, tilting his face away just slightly as though to hide it. It wasn't as though it could be seen in this light. Minato's heart was beating faster again, but for a different reason. He slowly moved his hands, trailing once-sword calloused fingertips, now soft and silky, across Yoite's cheek, tracing his jawline. It was almost worshipful, as the older teenager took this moment to memorize as much as he could about the Kira-user's skin.

He was still fearful that the other would draw back again, that this precious permission would be revoked. Minato ran his thumb almost accidently across the other's bottom lip and smiled in the darkness. This was so strange. He hoped that he wasn't been too forward. Grey eyes finally dried up as he waited, wondering what Yoite would do next. He was content to wait for the other's permission, content to wait and find out what he wanted. Minato made a soft sound of near-contentedness.

[hot_lemonade]

Yoite had to struggle to not pull away as he felt the other's fingers side over his skin. It wasn't bad through, felt almost comfortable. He'd never been touched like this, so it was kind of weird as well, and he let out a little pleased sigh as he felt the other's thumb slide across his bottom lip. Somehow, being touched like this by Minato wasn't bad at all.

He smiled a little and then nuzzled against him again, reaching up to gently brush his fingers through his hair. "Are you sure you want to keep me around? I really am broken, you know..." He muttered softly.