11TH RAGEQUIT | KARKAT VANTAS | TEXT
I KEEP TRYING TO WRITE SHIT IN HERE BUT IT KEEPS FUCKING AMOUNT TO A WHOLE LOT OF GODDAMN NOTHING. I GUESS I'M TRYING TO MAKE SOME KIND OF POINT, OR MAYBE TO JUST FUCKING VENT A LITTLE AFTER THE TEMPESTUOUS FECAL DOWNPOUR OF BODILY HUMORS THAT'S BEEN GOING ON FOR THE LAST WEEK. BUT BECAUSE OF THIS PARTICULAR SHADE OF MY UGLY AS FUCK TEXT I'M TOO
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D --> Oh
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D --> There is no need to be so confrontational
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WHAT ARE YOUR NON CONFRONTATIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE MATTER THEN.
FUCKING TRY ME.
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D --> I knew your b100d was some unmentionable shade
D --> Why else w001d you hide it
D --> That aside
D --> It honestly doesn't matter, to me
D --> Primarily because we don't associate as much as we used to
D --> Which was almost never, anyway
D --> Your mere e%istence isn't partic001arly straining on my life or my a%ions
D --> So I can't really find the energy within myself to give a darn
D --> Or at least not a very negative darn
D --> At the moment
D --> You were a fine leader while we played the game, at any rate
D --> No matter where your b100d falls on the hemospectrum
D --> I did respect you for that, back then
D --> And there is no sense in denying it now
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YOU KNOW SOMETIMES I WISH THAT I WAS JUST SOME FUCKING LIME BLOOD OR WHATEVER SO MY WHOLE REASON FOR HIDING COULD HAVE BEEN JUST LEGITIMATELY NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT YOUR BULLSHIT ANTICS.
BUT I GUESS WHAT I'VE REALIZED HERE THAT IN MY CASE HIDING MYSELF HAS THE OPPOSITE EFFECT.
AND SO WHAT THE REASON IT'S OK IS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO EMBARRASS YOURSELF LOOKING AT ME TOO OFTEN?
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D --> I know that there are other reasons to hide one's b100d color
D --> No
D --> That is not the reason that it isn't a problem
D --> I don't understand what you're angry about
D --> I was trying to be polite about the situation
D --> Since you mentioned you were afraid
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AND I DON'T KNOW!!
YOU JUST SEEM TO MANAGE TO FIND A WAY TO MAKE THINGS YOU SAY SOUND CONDESCENDING EVEN IF YOU'RE TRYING TO BE REASSURING.
LIKE YOU EXACTLY SAID THAT IT WAS PRIMARILY BECAUSE WE DON'T ASSOCIATE VERY OFTEN.
WHAT ELSE IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN I AM LEGITIMATELY CURIOUS??
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D --> Which I was not
D --> It means that you don't have anything to fear from me
D --> Because we are not close
D --> I won't have any real opportunities to harm you unintentionally and damage our almost none%istent relationship
D --> As I do with Aradia
D --> On occasion
D --> I will not deny that this is difficult for me
D --> But I am trying not to make this about myself
D --> Since you appear to be genuinely upset
D --> And you are asking me what I mean, now
D --> And allowing me to e%plain
D --> Rather than jumping to conc100sions and verbally assaulting me for things that aren't necessarily true
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D --> I knew your b100d was some unmentionable shade
D --> Why else w001d you hide it"
QUOTE END FUCKING QUOTE DUDE.
THAT READS A LOT LIKE AN ASSUMPTION ABOUT MY BLOOD BASED ON MY DECISION TO HIDE IT.
AND THIS ISN'T EVEN ABOUT CORNERING YOU INTO THINKING SOMETHING YOU CLAIM NOT TO
BUT GODDAMN MAN YOU ARE SOME OF THE WORST SHIT AT EXPRESSING YOURSELF I'VE EVER SEEN IF YOU THINK THOSE WORDS DON'T IMPLY THINGS AND THAT WASN'T EVEN FIVE REPLIES AGO.
LIKE I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO BE CIVIL HERE AND THAT'S APPRECIATED BUT HOLY SHIT.
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D --> I said nothing about your reasons for hiding it
D --> You c001d have hid it out of shame
D --> Out of fear for your life
D --> Out of a lack of concern for the hemospectrum or as a rebellion against it
D --> I don't know
D --> I personally think that the color is offensive
D --> So I refer to it as unmentionable
D --> I was trying not to use the term offensive
D --> As it made the conversation about myself, rather than about you
D --> And I wasn't going to assume that you hid it because you also felt that way about it
D --> I don't try to imply anything
D --> I state fa%
D --> Others perceive them in an offended manner
D --> And I said that you were being considerate by not attempting to corner me
D --> Which is what most of our peers tend to do when they speak with me, based on their own assumptions
D --> I am aware that my communication skills are lacking
D --> Your patience is appreciated
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I AM ACTUALLY COMPLETELY FLOORED BY YOU'RE ABILITY TO SUSS OUT THAT YOU THINK MY BLOOD IS OFFENSIVE WHILE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THAT IS EVEN CLOSE TO AN OK WAY TO FEEL ABOUT IT.
THAT'S NOT FUCKING OK EQUIUS.
AND I DON'T CARE HOW CONSIDERATE YOU ARE ABOUT SAYING SO.
THIS ISN'T POLITE DISCOURSE OVER OUR RESPECTIVE OPINIONS OF LAST WEEK'S BLOCK BUSTER IT'S MY LIFE YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE.
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D --> I didn't say it was okay to feel what I do
D --> But I can't change how I feel about it all at once
D --> So I w001d prefer it if you w001dn't judge me for it
D --> Since I am doing my gosh darned best to not judge you
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IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU TAKE THE TIME TO SPELL IT OUT FOR ME. JUDGEMENT TAKES PLACE IN YOUR GODDAMN HEAD AND NOT ANYWHERE ELSE. SO IF YOU THINK IT'S OFFENSIVE YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE IT.
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING OFFENDED BY SOMETHING AND, I DON'T KNOW, HAVING SOME KIND OF INVOLUNTARY SHUDDER WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF ALL THE CRUD STAINING THE INSIDE OF YOUR SKULL FROM SWEEPS OF CHERISHED BLOOD SUPREMACY.
WHICH ONE ARE YOU?? ARE THESE THOUGHTS OR REFLEX?
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D --> Well since I am trying to understand and move beyond it
D --> I w001d say that it is more of a refle% to feel this way
D --> Especially since, as I said
D --> I am trying not to be offended
D --> For your sake
D --> If you are going to continue to be angry at me we can simply stop talking
D --> I thought I was doing something that w001d help you
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EITHER WAY, WORK ON IT.
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