Comments | a_facility: 02 | Dave's sprite [video]

featheryasshole in a_facility

02 | Dave's sprite [video]

Nov 01, 2011 18:56

[The feed opens to near darkness. After a second, it pulls back, revealing that it was pressed up against a wall. After another, it pushes rapidly back, making a solid clanking sound as it hits. After this has repeated a couple of times, it should be fairly obvious that someone is banging their 'berry against the wall ( Read more... )

c: john egbert, c: jadesprite, c: jack noir, davesprite, c: rose lalonde, c: jade harley

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[action] hesalreadyhere November 1 2011, 17:13:38 UTC

[you are a Dave

you are a clearly upset Dave

there is only one solution to this

Jack appears in a flash of green and a flutter of purple paper. You look like you could use some nesting material, buddy.]

[action] featheryasshole November 1 2011, 17:25:02 UTC

[Oh, and Jack's a dog too. A dog with space powers. Something about that keeps niggling at the back of his mind, telling him that it's Important, but he can't really bring himself to care.]

Oh. It's you.

[action] hesalreadyhere November 2 2011, 06:03:54 UTC

[What's that? That most certainly didn't sound like crow!Dave suddenly being less sad. Jack is already arranging the pile of papers into a neat little nest, weaving feathers and blankets and bits of clothing in with surprising dexterity for a one-armed squidcatcrowdog. It's completed to a satisfying degree in only a couple minutes.

Then he suddenly appears right behind Davesprite and grabs him by the neck with his mouth which is a lot less alarming after he deposits the sprite into his comfy new nest.

And sits on him.

Shhhh you are his chick now accept this.]

[action] featheryasshole November 2 2011, 11:58:05 UTC

[Welp. This is... actually not that bad. Sure, the squidcatcrowdog sitting on him is kind of uncomfortable, but he's in a nest. He's pretty sure that's what happens when you're in a nest. Which makes Jack his mommy?

Sure, why not. He curls up and chirps like a contented baby bird.]

[action] hesalreadyhere November 3 2011, 00:07:50 UTC

[Yesssssss chirp away little Davecrow, no more destructive behaviour allowed. Jack stretches his wings out around his crowsprite, using his tentacles to arrange the nest a little more neatly at the same time.

Jack might also be... uhh, licking Dave's head a little. It was messy, okay. He had to fix it.]

[action] featheryasshole November 3 2011, 00:20:05 UTC

[Chirp chirp chirp wait what's with the licking is that something mommy birds do

...Well, Jack probably knows what he's doing, so Davesprite's not about to stop him. The chirping just continues.]

[action] hesalreadyhere November 4 2011, 19:42:19 UTC

[Jack actually has no idea what he's doing so he just turns Davesprite's hair into this hideous spit-covered mess.

THEN COMES THE PREENING aka you are getting the full tonguebath deal here, your feathers will be so shiny

When they're both back to normal this will likely go straight into the Shit We Never Discuss Again file which is now composed of several alphabetized cabinets because Jack has so much shit jammed in there it couldn't be contained. His life is a tale of embarrassment and regret, shared by all who come in contact with him.]

[action] featheryasshole November 4 2011, 19:58:33 UTC

[Well now he's just really wet and sad. WHAT ARE YOU DOING MOMMY THIS DOES NOT FEEL NICE.

And because he's in baby bird mode and not at all in control of his emotions and also wet and sad, here come the tears. Also the saddest most distressed chirps you ever heard.]

[action] hesalreadyhere November 4 2011, 20:08:50 UTC

[ohgod no not the sadchirps and crying that is bad 8C!!!!

BUT BABBIES ARE SUPPOSED TO LIKE TONGUEBATHS

He frets over this for a minute, then begins... attempting to dry him off? Burying him? It's hard to tell, but either way Dave is getting covered with citations and feathers while Jack makes sadfaces and whines.]

[action] featheryasshole November 4 2011, 20:33:47 UTC

[NO THIS IS THE WORST CRYING EVEN HARDER D'8!!

JACK YOU ARE A HORRIBLE MOTHER

ARE YOU ASHAMED OF YOURSELF CAUSE YOU SHOULD BE]

[action] hesalreadyhere November 5 2011, 06:43:48 UTC

[WHY IS EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES RUINED?????????????

IF YOU WON'T STOP CRYING HE WILL KEEP BURYING YOU IN CITATIONS UNTIL HE CAN'T HEAR YOUR SOBS

HE'S ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU]

[action] featheryasshole November 5 2011, 06:49:31 UTC

[YEAH THE CRYING ISN'T GOING TO STOP

THIS IS A KID WITH ABOUT TWENTY BILLION DIFFERENT REASONS TO CRY

OKAY SO HE DOESN'T REMEMBER MOST OF THEM CONSCIOUSLY RIGHT NOW

BUT ONCE YOU'VE UNLOCKED THE TEARS THEY WILL NEVER STOP

WORST MOM EVER]

[action] hesalreadyhere November 5 2011, 06:54:30 UTC

[ssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh only citations now

please stop crying ohgod

why isnt this working

OH FUCK DID HE BREAK DAVE?

HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT ANYMORE OH MAN OH GOD

HE HAS FAILED AS A PARENT BAD DOG WORST MOMMY

WORST FRIEND]

[action] featheryasshole November 5 2011, 07:09:43 UTC

[IT'S A NEVER-ENDING SPRING OF YELLOW GOOP

AND HE'S NOT EVEN BLEEDING YET

to be fair this is like the easiest dave to break

BUT STILL

YOU SUCK, JACK

YOUR CHILD HATES YOU FOREVER]

[action] 1/2 hesalreadyhere November 5 2011, 07:16:54 UTC

[WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL. HE BROKE DAVESPRITE.

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO DO: DEVOUR THE BODY AND PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY

dont worry my sweet prince your suffering will be over soon

this is really hard though ohgod he's not supposed to be killing you anymore

it keeps happening

maybe if he just...

takes a nibble first.........]

[action] hesalreadyhere November 5 2011, 07:18:47 UTC

[BLUH!

okay fuck it terrible plan you are disgusting

back to smothering you with paper and affection it is]

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