thirteenth incision ෴ video

[prideofwisdom]

[Stein's sitting on the edge of his bed, his back a little stiffer than normal, but seeming pretty normal other than that. He takes a few deep breaths and tries to relax his back into a more typical curve.]

They're lying.

[He sounds so resolute, so matter-of-fact when he says it, it's almost tempting to believe him

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[guillotine_beat]

No, they are not.

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[prideofwisdom]

No, Maka's right. They're too interested in our reactions to do something to stifle them.

[Or so Stein is currently in the process of forcing himself to believe.]

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[guillotine_beat]

The purpose of the Facility: "Modification of behavior. What will cause a long-term change in a subject's ways of interacting with others. What will make a subject easier to train. What stimuli will cause a sentient subject to become controllable."

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[prideofwisdom]

[Enjoy waiting for your response because it's taking Stein kind of a while to digest that without going back into a complete panic.]

Why would Maka have lied to me?

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[guillotine_beat]

I don't know.

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[prideofwisdom]

How are you so calm about this? I realize not everyone has a background with them, but even without it, lobotomies don't have the best reputation.

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[guillotine_beat]

Why do you think I am calm, Dr. Stein?

[He is though. So horribly caml.]

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[prideofwisdom]

Maybe it's because everything you write to me, I read in your voice. Your insufferably calm voice. Or maybe it's the short answers. They hint at irritation and lack of empathy. I can practically see the way you're rolling your eyes at my theatrics. You're thinking to yourself that I'm making a scene and you're torn between second-hand embarrassment and laughter and disdain. You don't give me an apology, you feel no sympathy, you offer no advice on how to avoid this fate.

I think you forget, we're not so different from each other.

The only difference is, right now, I'm not calm, and you are. Answer the question.

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[guillotine_beat]

Don't you dare assume you know anything about me or what i am thinking or feeling.

[Flick. Anger. That horribly difficult to control temper set off once again.]

Do not assume we are similar in any way

[His evil twin had said it, during the F3 trip to Venice.

"All this religious devotion is simply because you're scared. You need justification for your actions... You're no better than he is. Sadistic, hateful, manipulative, trying to make everything all right by acting under the 'will of god'. It's pathetic."]

I am nothing like you.

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[prideofwisdom]

Oops, did I strike a nerve? Does that mean you realize that they're something "wrong" with you? Do you notice the way your reactions don't sync up with other people's? I bet it must sting to realize you'll never be able to care about Maka the same way she cares about you.

But you're right, it's very unfair of me to compare us. We're nothing alike; I've taught myself how to care about people.

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[guillotine_beat]

[Focus on the thing that doesn't hurt.]

Maka Albarn has nothing to do with this.

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[prideofwisdom]

Of course she does. She's the closest thing you've had to a real friend, isn't it? Maybe you don't physically hurt her, no, but you're slowly cutting off her relationships to other people, her support system, making her wholly dependent on you. And in exchange, she stands up for you, protects you. Or tries to, at least. And it makes her think that she's in the position of power, but all the while, you're back there pulling her strings. She's yours, through and through. As long as she gives you her kindness, you'll keep taking it.

You're a predator Justin, preying on those who don't suspect any ulterior motives from you, because they'll let you. Just like me.

But until you admit it, you can't fix yourself. Though I guess it doesn't matter considering someone else is stepping up to fix your brain for you now. Your antisocial personality will soon be a thing of the past. Is that why you're so calm? You're tired of realizing you're sick and not knowing what to do about it?

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[guillotine_beat]

That is a lie.

[He can't say there's nothing wrong with him, because there is (just... not what Stein says is wrong with him. Nothing like that).

He's calm, he's willing to let this happen because he is so tired of hurting.]

I'm nothing like you. I am calm simply because I no longer care what happens to me.

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[prideofwisdom]

Of course, my mistake. Better slap on some more superficial charm before other people notice your change in demeanor this week, though.

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[guillotine_beat]

Everyone's demeanor will change this week.

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[prideofwisdom]

This early on in the procedure? My, you poor thing, you must take incredibly deep breaths or are especially susceptible to frontal lobe damage. I'm almost tempted to pity you. Assuming people like us could feel something as fluffy as pity, that is.