[015 - Soubi Agatsuma - video]

[wants_ur_ears]

[For what it's worth, Soubi has managed to find some suitable attire, even if he is still looking a tad winded. His week-long coma has left him looking rather exhausted, lids heavy with dark circles beneath.

And he does not look pleased (like that's anything new).]

So it's down to Ritsuka and myself. [He tugs his glasses off and pinches the

Comments

[memorizethefire]

Huh, too bad. You guys can make it, though. I mean, if you wanna.

I'm sorry!! I didn't get a damn notif. >.<

[wants_ur_ears]

We will.

[There's a long moment when Soubi doesn't respond. Then:] I feel like I should have tried harder to protect them.

It's fine!! <3

[memorizethefire]

You can't protect anyone from the Consortium.

[wants_ur_ears]

Maybe I'm just being selfish then. I would feel better if I'd had the chance to try.

[memorizethefire]

That's just the thing: they don't give you that chance. It's to break your spirit, man. Just know that he doesn't have to suffer anymore.

[wants_ur_ears]

Is it suffering to be alive?

Even under these conditions, as long as I had Ritsuka, I wouldn't want to die. But if he didn't have Natsuo here, maybe it was better.

[memorizethefire]

It can be.

He's still alive wherever you're from. We have pretty damn good evidence that we're clones.

[wants_ur_ears]

I don't know if that makes it better or worse.

[memorizethefire]

I wouldn't know. I don't exist back where I'm from anymore, but I was here before that happened, and if I'd stayed like that... it's good that there was still a me there to see that play out.

[wants_ur_ears]

Yet, when we're terminated, that's it. We're dead, we're gone, the person we knew is dead and gone. And if they come back, it's just going to be another clone, with no memory of the time that was shared together in this place.

We're like cattle, being raised for the slaughter.

[memorizethefire]

That's exactly what we are. All we can do is try to be... well, whatever the hell we are, while we're here. Death means nothing, termination means very little.

[wants_ur_ears]

That doesn't depress you?

[memorizethefire]

Heh, it probably would if I could feel stuff like that. Guess I'm lucky.

Soubi, being here is the best life I've had in a long time.

[wants_ur_ears]

Is it?

[memorizethefire]

I had a really rough deal back home. It was okay, for a while, but... It wasn't what I wanted. I lost my heart four years ago, I'd been living a life where my only goal was to get it back, and it wasn't gonna work. Here... I don't need it. I get to be who I want to be. The experiments... don't really phase me. My husband hasn't been terminated. That's all I really care about.

[wants_ur_ears]

That would be better.

But... How can you have a husband, but say that you can't feel things?