♍ 10 * kanaya used mimic. kanaya2 fainted. [video]
[Suddenly, the video feed flicks on to show... a plain white ceiling. The berry's on the ground, facing up, and nothing is within view of the video screen. Everything is quiet for about 10 seconds, but then Kanaya's voice pipes up. She sounds calm, if slightly on-edge.]
Let's get this over with.
[Then the other Kanaya speaks up. Her voice is faster, less formal, and irritated.] Is Miss Fussyfangs really going to allow me to take control of the situation? Really?
...That can't be your best insinuation. Yes, I'm a control freak. Of course I hate when I lose control--I can't keep my emotions level under such situations.
It's worse than that, Maryam, and you know it. You'd rather no one made decisions for themselves! All of them, asking you for advice and still fucking up--it drives you up the wall. If only they'd let you take charge and listen to you!
But I know I'm not always right, and I'm far from perfect. Even if I'd like to fix things, I don't expect everyone to listen--
[But her shadow cuts her off with another outbursts, moving into the video field when she does so. Her lips are twisted into a distinct sneer.] Ha! You always expect them to listen. And when you know they won't... you take the choice away from them. You might not lie, but you'll omit the facts all day if it serves you. Do you remember? You told Aradia she had a hand in the horrible things about to occur, the day we played Sgrub--but what about you? You paved the way for Alternia's destruction every chance you got. You let Vriska throw Tavros off that cliff, let Sollux think the game would save everyone, never warned Karkat about running that virus. And what about here? You killed Jack even when it meant he'd come after the others. [Her shadow looks triumphant and giddy at getting all of that out. Her sneer turns into a sharp grin, full of teeth.]
...Fine. I will secede that I've excluded information to further the future in my visions, or my own causes in some events. And if that's supposed to teach me something new about myself, you're late to party of self-revelation--
That's not the end of it, and you know it. There's one thing I'm most afraid to admit: I regret the choices I make all the time. I'm scared of how bad I am at everything, even thought no one seems to see it. Some mother grub I'd be. I'm just an average troll, and an above-average fuck-up when it comes to plenty of things! I hurt myself and my friends with arrogant, self-interested decisions. I realize I can't even get over my hopeless crush on Vriska... and then I start to fall for someone else as well? Talk about shitty decisions, falling for--
All right, that's enough! [The original Kanaya cuts her off and finally steps into view, fists clenched and teeth gritted. Despite that, her voice stays carefully level when she replies.] I understand what you're saying. I do... I do make many mistakes, even though it's hard to admit it to myself. Control is important to me, but I don't always use it correctly. I'll never be perfect, no matter how I wish to be. Despite what you insist, I've realized this before.
So--so yes, I'm you. Flaws and all.
Maybe there's hope for me yet. [The shadow starts to laugh and disappears, clearly smug about her victory.]
[Her shadow gone, Kanaya leans down and sighs as she reaches towards the berry. She assumed it'd get recorded somehow, stupid berries, so she just turned it on and hoped it wasn't too humiliating. With a small sigh, she shuts the video off.]
Let's get this over with.
[Then the other Kanaya speaks up. Her voice is faster, less formal, and irritated.] Is Miss Fussyfangs really going to allow me to take control of the situation? Really?
...That can't be your best insinuation. Yes, I'm a control freak. Of course I hate when I lose control--I can't keep my emotions level under such situations.
It's worse than that, Maryam, and you know it. You'd rather no one made decisions for themselves! All of them, asking you for advice and still fucking up--it drives you up the wall. If only they'd let you take charge and listen to you!
But I know I'm not always right, and I'm far from perfect. Even if I'd like to fix things, I don't expect everyone to listen--
[But her shadow cuts her off with another outbursts, moving into the video field when she does so. Her lips are twisted into a distinct sneer.] Ha! You always expect them to listen. And when you know they won't... you take the choice away from them. You might not lie, but you'll omit the facts all day if it serves you. Do you remember? You told Aradia she had a hand in the horrible things about to occur, the day we played Sgrub--but what about you? You paved the way for Alternia's destruction every chance you got. You let Vriska throw Tavros off that cliff, let Sollux think the game would save everyone, never warned Karkat about running that virus. And what about here? You killed Jack even when it meant he'd come after the others. [Her shadow looks triumphant and giddy at getting all of that out. Her sneer turns into a sharp grin, full of teeth.]
...Fine. I will secede that I've excluded information to further the future in my visions, or my own causes in some events. And if that's supposed to teach me something new about myself, you're late to party of self-revelation--
That's not the end of it, and you know it. There's one thing I'm most afraid to admit: I regret the choices I make all the time. I'm scared of how bad I am at everything, even thought no one seems to see it. Some mother grub I'd be. I'm just an average troll, and an above-average fuck-up when it comes to plenty of things! I hurt myself and my friends with arrogant, self-interested decisions. I realize I can't even get over my hopeless crush on Vriska... and then I start to fall for someone else as well? Talk about shitty decisions, falling for--
All right, that's enough! [The original Kanaya cuts her off and finally steps into view, fists clenched and teeth gritted. Despite that, her voice stays carefully level when she replies.] I understand what you're saying. I do... I do make many mistakes, even though it's hard to admit it to myself. Control is important to me, but I don't always use it correctly. I'll never be perfect, no matter how I wish to be. Despite what you insist, I've realized this before.
So--so yes, I'm you. Flaws and all.
Maybe there's hope for me yet. [The shadow starts to laugh and disappears, clearly smug about her victory.]
[Her shadow gone, Kanaya leans down and sighs as she reaches towards the berry. She assumed it'd get recorded somehow, stupid berries, so she just turned it on and hoped it wasn't too humiliating. With a small sigh, she shuts the video off.]