Am I? Do I?
I was told today that my friend finds it difficult to believe what I'm saying is fact or a speculation. I say I mean to do many things, but whether I do them or not is up to what happens in life. He told me I say I'm going to do billions of things, but I never follow through. I asked him what he meant by that and he's response was because I had said I was going to move back to San Francisco twice, and that I was going to drive up, but never did.
this is the truth, I did say a couple of times that I was going to move back to SF, but I kept getting sick....and let's be COMPLETELY honest-MONEY. I don't have an income at the moment because no one will hire someone who has to take a break every hour, especially since the economy is so low. bleh. I hate making excuses, and I am glad that he pointed this out to me, but I can't help but feeling hurt.
I thought he understood why I had to keep changing my plans, and the reason why I couldn't move up in January, but I guess not. I'm not blaming him for hurting me either, it's the truth, but it's the truth with applied circumstances. or applied excuses. At least it's making me think about what I say.
I don't really know where to start really. I've been feeling so lost that escaping always seems like the best solution. I want to go to San Francisco next week for a lecture, but I don't know if I can afford to go. What I can say is now here are the FACTS:
1. I will be moving back to San Francisco in June.
2. I am applying to colleges, as to where I will be or when I will be depends largely on where I get in.DUH.
3. I am still sick, just adapting to the symptoms.
4. I am constantly looking for commission jobs:
-Album cover design
-Private portraits
-t-shirt designs
-private workshops for art students.
5. I HAVE A WEBSITE: www.eggzmarinello.com
The SPECULATIONS:
1. Going to Italy for school. plz plz plz.
I am thinking about what if I don't get into school. What then? I have no clue.
Today is not a good day. I feel like a horrible friend.
this is the truth, I did say a couple of times that I was going to move back to SF, but I kept getting sick....and let's be COMPLETELY honest-MONEY. I don't have an income at the moment because no one will hire someone who has to take a break every hour, especially since the economy is so low. bleh. I hate making excuses, and I am glad that he pointed this out to me, but I can't help but feeling hurt.
I thought he understood why I had to keep changing my plans, and the reason why I couldn't move up in January, but I guess not. I'm not blaming him for hurting me either, it's the truth, but it's the truth with applied circumstances. or applied excuses. At least it's making me think about what I say.
I don't really know where to start really. I've been feeling so lost that escaping always seems like the best solution. I want to go to San Francisco next week for a lecture, but I don't know if I can afford to go. What I can say is now here are the FACTS:
1. I will be moving back to San Francisco in June.
2. I am applying to colleges, as to where I will be or when I will be depends largely on where I get in.DUH.
3. I am still sick, just adapting to the symptoms.
4. I am constantly looking for commission jobs:
-Album cover design
-Private portraits
-t-shirt designs
-private workshops for art students.
5. I HAVE A WEBSITE: www.eggzmarinello.com
The SPECULATIONS:
1. Going to Italy for school. plz plz plz.
I am thinking about what if I don't get into school. What then? I have no clue.
Today is not a good day. I feel like a horrible friend.