(no subject)

[a_dna_lie]

i have seen a lot of beautiful sights in Barcelona; Gaudi's parks and houses, Cathedrals, well groomed parks and castles.
but whenever i have to stop myself from getting too sentimental and start crying,  i have to think about beautiful things.
and why are the first things that come to mind man made?
why can't it be the beautiful blue sky that i saw all over spain in summer, or the swans in a lake in front of the hospital in berlin. even the sand dunes being bathed in sun rise in vietnam. these should all be things that i keep in my head to keep me from sinking; my buoys. does that mean beauty is light, and that is why it keeps me afloat?
so darkness is heavy and brooding and drags us down. but it is always mistaken as deep and intristic.
give me lightness, give me miles and miles of clean air and endless green pastures. remind me of azure waters so clear i can see the fish near my toes. let me remember the pinch of little fish biting me, reminding me that in life,
we
have
to
keep
moving.

but somehow when i think of home, i feel like i am home when i was with you.and it is not fair that you have to be the most reckless of all.

mirages.