Sacrifice 6/6
Dean wanders down to the room Jameson and Ailani had chosen earlier. He can hear the faint sounds of conversation and laughter, a woman and a child. When he knocks on the door Jameson answers, eyes red and swollen. He steps outside, closing the door behind him.
“Dean,” he says, and he sounds almost grateful for the interruption. “Did you need something?”
“I just came down to ask you the same thing,” Dean tells him. “How are they doing?”
“Catching up, I guess,” Jameson says. “If you can call it that. Ailani read to her for awhile, and now they’re playing.” He smiles, a little sad. “This is the happiest and most energetic I’ve seen Ailani since she discovered Leinani was missing, but I don’t think either of them need me around right now.”
Dean frowns. “Are you sure? Kerr and Susan seemed to think there wasn’t a lot of time left.”
“I’m sure. Ailani is...and isn’t my wife. She has my wife’s form, and most of her memories from what I can tell, but her emotions...dragons don’t always think or feel the way we do. She won’t harm me for being near her child, but she won’t thank me either.”
“I’m sorry, man,” Dean says sincerely. “Listen, if they’re doing alright, why don’t I show you the garage? We’ve got some engines down there that can always use some love. Or maybe we can go back to the hangar. I think we could both use a distraction.”
Jameson smiles gratefully. “That sounds like exactly what I need,” he says. “Lead the way.”
The next few days are a bit of a blur for everyone. Sam does what he can to help Kerr and Susan set up the spells that will shift the energy drain of the bunker from Leinani to Kevin, soaking up whatever knowledge of magic and spell craft they’re willing to share. Dean spends most of his time with Jameson, trying to distract him from the tragedy playing out between the shell of his wife and the ghost child she loves. Ailani and Leinani wander the halls and the garden, talking and singing, and if it’s a little creepy to sometimes see Ailani talking to thin air, her thin face manic and eyes wild, neither Sam nor Dean can bring themselves to say anything.
And Sam dreams. Every night now, the same things. He’s convinced now that it’s Castiel he’s seeing, somehow, rather than Lucifer, but the angel hasn’t answered any of his calls.
“Dean, I’m sure it’s him,” Sam insists as they’re going over the previous day in Sam’s room. “Something’s going on with him, I think he might be in some kind of trouble.”
“Sam, he said he was going on vacation. He just took off. And to be honest, I don’t really care all that much if he comes back. The things he’s done? Fuck.” Dean shakes his head, annoyed all over again that the being they’d trusted over and over had betrayed them as many times as they’d taken him back.
“I’m going to ask Kevin if he can reach him, since I can’t,” Sam says firmly. “It can’t hurt to make sure he’s alright.”
“Sure, Sam,” Kevin says brightly, startling a curse out of Dean. “The last thing he told me was that he was going back to heaven, so I’ll try him there first.”
“Wait, I thought you said you weren’t allowed in heaven,” Dean says suspiciously. “And could you please quit sneaking up on us? Jesus.”
“I’m a ghost, Dean,” Kevin says drily. “I can’t exactly stomp my feet to let you know I’m here. And I’m not technically allowed in heaven...but there are a few back doors. The angels always seem to know when I’m around and chase me off, but I bet I can get a bead on him before they catch me.”
With that he’s gone, leaving Dean to give Sam an exasperated glare.
“Why do I have the feeling I’m going to regret going along with this binding idea?” he growls, and Sam just shrugs.
“It was the best choice we had. We both know that. Hopefully he’ll figure out something like boundaries as time passes.” Sam pauses, remembering. “You know, I found something interesting today. Remember how this branch of the Men of Letters and supposedly our ancestors in particular were crazy assholes?”
Dean nods. “What did we do this time?” he asks, not really sure he wants to know. The torture and death of a child is enough of a burden to bear.
“It’s more what we didn’t do,” Sam says. “I found more references to that Werther guy--turns out his ancestors were some of the original founders--and also part of the delegation that went to Hawaii to discuss founding this chapter.”
“So you’re saying that our ancestors specifically didn’t do this,” Dean says slowly, and smiles. “Well, I guess that’s something. I’m glad we’ve got the chance to set things right, though. Or at least as right as they can be.”
They spend a few hours cleaning up around the bunker--dishes and laundry, mostly--and running into town for supplies. Feeding five people instead of two is taxing Dean’s repertoire, but he’s risen to the challenge admirably, and tonight he wants to try something different, some kind of coconut chili curry that Jameson thinks he might be able to persuade Ailani to try.
When they get back, Kevin is hanging out in Sam’s room again, waiting.
“Hey, Kevin,” Sam greets him. “Did you find out where Cass is?”
Kevin nods. “He’s in heaven, but I wouldn’t count on him being back anytime soon. You remember that big deal about how heaven’s internal mechanisms are falling apart because there aren’t enough angels to power everything anymore?”
Sam and Dean exchange a look and Dean says, “Yeah, we remember--Cass killed most of the other angels at one point or another, or rather he and his followers did.” He frowns. “Are they punishing him for that?”
“Not exactly. From what I was able to gather from some of the other souls who’ve been there awhile, all the angels are required to give up some of their grace to maintaining heaven periodically. Cass hasn’t taken his turn since he came to earth, plus he killed practically everyone else who could. So now he’s making up for it.” Kevin shakes his head. “The souls I talked to said this happened before, when Lucifer rebelled, and they cannibalized human souls until there were enough angels and enough grace to keep everything running. It was pretty awful.”
Dean’s frown deepens. “That doesn’t sound like something Cass would do,” he argues. “Cass has never wanted to go back to heaven. Why would he be helping them now?”
“Dean…” Sam trails off, uncertain how much to say in the face of Dean’s obvious annoyance. “You know, Cass and I have been talking lately. About responsibility, about accepting the things we’ve done wrong and making amends. Maybe that’s what this is about.” He shivers. “Whatever it is, I don’t think he likes it much. I keep having these dreams...I think they might be from him but I can’t be sure. They might just be nightmares about Lucifer.”
Dean softens, looking at Sam with pleased surprise. “You know, little brother...there’s not many people who can say they made an angel a better person. I’m proud of you, Sammy.”
Sam can’t help the burst of happiness in his chest at Dean’s praise. “You don’t think we should rescue him? Or at least try?”
Dean’s already shaking his head before Sam even finishes the thought. “This is Castiel’s choice,” he says firmly. “Just like it was your choice to go into the Cage to atone--unnecessarily, I might add--for what happened with Lucifer. What right do we have to take that away from him?”
Sam shivers again, remembering. “You’re right, I guess. I just...it’s so cold, wherever he is. If it’s him. I wake up in the morning feeling like I’ll never be warm again.”
Dean looks at him with concern. “Dude. Why didn’t you tell me it was getting bad again? We could have done something--”
“It’s probably nothing,” Sam says, embarrassed to be a problem, again. “We’ve all got too much on our minds to worry about dreams.”
“Speaking of which…” Kevin interrupts. He sounds a little nervous when he continues. “Kerr told me he and Susan are finished with their prepwork. They want to start the transfer tomorrow, and they and Jameson want to talk to you guys about the details.”
Sam offers Kevin his hand. “You’re doing a good thing, Kevin,” he says softly. “I know this has got to be scary, but thank you for doing this for Ailani and Leinani. Everyone here appreciates your sacrifice.”
Kevin shakes Sam’s hand, a clammy buzz of energy zinging up Sam’s arm. “Thanks, Sam. I’m a little nervous, but I think it’s going to be okay.” He steps back, and Sam tries not to show his relief when the buzz under his skin fades. “I think I’m going to try getting back into heaven and see if I can find Castiel. Those dreams you described...if that’s him in your dreams, I want to know for sure that he’s okay before I go under.” He offers Dean his hand as well before he disappears, and Sam’s not surprised to see Dean shiver and wipe his hand on his pants as they leave the room to go find the others.
They find Susan and Kerr in the library, books and notes scattered around them, the remnants of lunch shoved off to one side to go cold. It’s so reminiscent of nights spent researching with Dean that Sam can’t help but smile a little.
“Sam, Dean.” A spot at the table is quickly cleared for the two of them, and the brothers each take a seat. “We’ve been wanting to talk to you about the next step in releasing Leinani and binding Kevin to the bunker.”
“Of course,” Sam says easily. “Whatever you need us to do.”
“Well…” Susan glances at Kerr, who clears his throat.
“It’s more about what we need you to not do,” he says, watching them with concern. “Which is...be here. As you’ve probably noticed, Leinani is very weak, much weaker than a spirit is usually allowed to become before the transfer. I’ve been feeding her as much energy as I can, and so has Kevin, but that’s very limited. And since the spell is usually worked by two magic users, I’m going to need all my strength to make this work.”
“So what we thought was...maybe the two of you could accompany me back to
Hawaii to pick up some supplies and an assistant to help with the spell?” Susan doesn’t sound all that hopeful that they’ll agree. “That way there’s one less person here stressing the bunker’s resources and...a little more privacy for Jameson and Ailani. Not that they aren’t grateful for all the help you’ve given them,” she hastens to add. “It’s just a difficult time for them.”
“You want us to leave our home to a bunch of strangers and go on a tropical vacation?”
Dean doesn’t sound as skeptical as Sam thought he might, probably because they’d done practically the same thing with the hunters from the alternate universe last year. Minus the tropical vacation, of course.
Kerr laughs. “Something like that, I guess. We can find another way if you’d rather, of course. But every hunter needs a break now and then, and our Men of Letters branch is very interested in meeting the two of you, and showing you the ropes in maintaining your own branch. There’s really not a lot to it, mostly just showing you some of the bells and whistles you may not have discovered on your own.”
Sam looks at Dean, trying not to use his puppy dog eyes, as Dean likes to call them, because he knows how much Dean hates flying. He really likes the sound of this, a lot, but he’s not going to pressure Dean into doing something as stressful as flying just because he himself wants it.
Dean groans internally because fuck. He can tell Sam is trying not to go all adorable little brother on him, but for crying out loud. If the kid had a tail it would probably be wagging hopefully right now. On the other hand, he has been kind of itching to take that plane for a test drive now that he and Jameson have spent so much time working on it and going over how it runs. He lets Sammy stew for a few more minutes, because what else is a big brother gonna do, but in the end he can’t resist.
“All right, Sammy. You win. Pack your bags, we’re going to Hawaii.”
Master post: https://a-dean-girl.livejournal.com/6372.html