after all (we're only human)
rating: pg
pairings: 93-line
wc: 1228
guardian angel au from another ask.fm prompt, which originally ended after the eight years old part. this is the long(er) version. i tried to follow the (very very very) rough timeline of hongbin's life, but obviously things got fudged for literary purposes.
when hongbin is five, his parents are killed in a car accident and he's sent to live at a buddhist temple with his grandma in seocho-gu. he gets bullied by the other boys, because he doesn't have a mom or a dad and sometimes he cries, and because he looks like a girl with his curls and long lashes and pretty face. they yell at him and push him down, and hongbin goes home with dirty robes and scraped palms and a broken heart.
when hongbin is six, he tries to cut his own hair with a pair of scissors, because his grandma's hands ache too much to do it for him. he ends up slipping and cutting his forehead, but he doesn't cry when the doctor has to give him stitches; it doesn't hurt nearly as much as being lonely.
when hongbin is eight, a boy his age shows up at the temple. he has white hair and white clothes and stands soaking wet by the back entrance, and hongbin thinks he must be kind of stupid to be out in the middle of a storm, but the boy keeps flailing the rope attached to the iron bell by the door until hongbin tells him to stop that, just come inside already. the boy makes puddles as he flops down in front of the wood brazier and hongbin brings him bungeoppang, since the lightning knocked out all the power and that's all he can find that doesn't require cooking. he eats three whole fish breads by himself, dropping crumbs and bits of bean paste that turn to goo when they fall into the fire, after which he smiles at hongbin and proceeds to strip off his wet top.
(his wings are really fluffy when they finally finish drying.)
the next day it stops raining, and the boy beats up all the other boys. no one bullies hongbin ever again.
what's your name?
ravi.
la... lah-bi? that's so hard to say.
well, that's what it is.
but that's not even korean. you need an easier name. i'm gonna call you wonshik.
that's dumb.
it's not dumb. i like it.
...whatever. i'm hungry.
when hongbin is eight, he makes his first friend.
when hongbin is fourteen, he has a sudden growth spurt that causes his body to grow much faster than his lungs. he starts high school with wonshik later that same year.
when hongbin is fifteen, he collapses while playing basketball during gym from a secondary spontaneous pneumothorax. the last thing he sees before the build up of carbon dioxide in his blood causes him to black out is wonshik leaning over him, eyes wide with panic and cradling his head as he folds wings that only hongbin can see and feel protectively around his body.
he's taken into emergency surgery, where he dies on the operating table. hongbin knows he's dead because he sees his parents, who cry when he starts walking towards the light that reminds him of wonshik, soft and warm and safe -- but then wonshik is there, and he grabs hongbin's hand and pulls him back.
hongbin wakes up from his coma a week later. wonshik is asleep at his side, still holding his hand tightly as he rests his head at an uncomfortable angle in the crook of his other arm, white hair a little greasy-looking, like he hasn't showered in a few days. he snores loudly, and he doesn't have wings anymore.
when hongbin is sixteen, he finds wonshik sitting by the back entrance of the temple, watching the rain like he has been every day for the past few weeks instead of doing his homework or composing or sleeping. whenever hongbin asks him what's wrong, if he wants to talk about it, wonshik just smiles a little and tells him it's fine, it's nothing. hongbin pretends not to notice whenever wonshik absently reaches up to rub his shoulders, like there's always a knot in them, even though hongbin knows it's really the opposite -- that something is missing.
it's pathetic compared to everything wonshik has done for him, but nevertheless hongbin saves up his allowance and his birthday money and buys wonshik a 16 GB ipod nano for christmas, which he fills with music he picks out himself, songs that he likes and songs he thinks wonshik would like, songs with lyrics that say all the things he would if he were better with words. he ends up not being able to wait and gives it to wonshik a few days later in an empty bungeoppang box, because hongbin never learned how to wrap presents nicely.
when hongbin asks wonshik if he's crying, the other boy denies it and blames it on the rain, even though they're sitting inside. he sniffles loudly behind his knees, earbuds in, leaning into hongbin as he strokes wonshik's back.
i'm sorry.
for what?
i dunno. everything. because i... for making you...
...dumbass. i'm supposed to protect you.
i know, but--
kongie, shut up.
when hongbin is sixteen, wonshik kisses him for the first time.
when hongbin is seventeen, he and wonshik both pass an audition; hongbin with his singing and good looks, and wonshik with his rap and dance. they move into a tiny dorm with a bunch of other trainees -- a foreign-looking boy with a big nose and a bigger voice; a pale boy who glares and rarely speaks, but when he does it's the shyest, gentlest sound hongbin has ever heard; a lanky boy who calls himself the leader and dotes on everyone and talks and talks and talks. his eyes light up when he sees wonshik, and he detaches himself from the quiet boy's arm to race over and pull him into a hug, chatting excitedly like he hasn't seen him in forever, even though hongbin doesn't think they've ever met.
later that evening, after all the introductions and shuffling of luggage and futons, when everyone is in the living room sharing what will probably be their last pot of ramyun before it goes on the list of banned foods during their training period, the talky boy, hakyeon, pulls hongbin aside.
"thank you for taking care of ravi-yah," he whispers in hongbin's ear.
hongbin just stares at him, surprised, until he notices the faint outline of wings behind hakyeon's back.
when hongbin is nineteen, he debuts as an idol along with wonshik and hakyeon and taekwoon and jaehwan and a cute boy named sanghyuk. they're standing backstage at m! countdown, waiting on their first official performance, and hongbin thinks dying was less nerve-wracking than this; wonshik punches him in the arm ("speak for yourself, idiot."). his hair is dyed dark reddish-brown and is only slightly less wavy than hongbin's, but he's dressed all in white, just like when he first appeared all those years ago.
hongbin's hands are still shaking when they do their cheer as a group and when the PD calls them up. they're still shaking when he gets into position and when the lights go down and when he glances to his left, where wonshik is supposed to be in middle of the formation, except he's not -- he's at hongbin's side, with less than minute before the stage lights up again and the cameras go live.
in the dark, wonshik's hand finds his.
what's it like?
what's what like?
heaven. that's where you're from, right?
i'm from jamsil-dong.
...
i'm kidding. it's... i dunno, it's a lot like this, actually. not the place, but the feeling. it feels the same.
the same as what?
as being here with you.
pairings: 93-line
wc: 1228
guardian angel au from another ask.fm prompt, which originally ended after the eight years old part. this is the long(er) version. i tried to follow the (very very very) rough timeline of hongbin's life, but obviously things got fudged for literary purposes.
when hongbin is five, his parents are killed in a car accident and he's sent to live at a buddhist temple with his grandma in seocho-gu. he gets bullied by the other boys, because he doesn't have a mom or a dad and sometimes he cries, and because he looks like a girl with his curls and long lashes and pretty face. they yell at him and push him down, and hongbin goes home with dirty robes and scraped palms and a broken heart.
when hongbin is six, he tries to cut his own hair with a pair of scissors, because his grandma's hands ache too much to do it for him. he ends up slipping and cutting his forehead, but he doesn't cry when the doctor has to give him stitches; it doesn't hurt nearly as much as being lonely.
when hongbin is eight, a boy his age shows up at the temple. he has white hair and white clothes and stands soaking wet by the back entrance, and hongbin thinks he must be kind of stupid to be out in the middle of a storm, but the boy keeps flailing the rope attached to the iron bell by the door until hongbin tells him to stop that, just come inside already. the boy makes puddles as he flops down in front of the wood brazier and hongbin brings him bungeoppang, since the lightning knocked out all the power and that's all he can find that doesn't require cooking. he eats three whole fish breads by himself, dropping crumbs and bits of bean paste that turn to goo when they fall into the fire, after which he smiles at hongbin and proceeds to strip off his wet top.
(his wings are really fluffy when they finally finish drying.)
the next day it stops raining, and the boy beats up all the other boys. no one bullies hongbin ever again.
what's your name?
ravi.
la... lah-bi? that's so hard to say.
well, that's what it is.
but that's not even korean. you need an easier name. i'm gonna call you wonshik.
that's dumb.
it's not dumb. i like it.
...whatever. i'm hungry.
when hongbin is eight, he makes his first friend.
when hongbin is fourteen, he has a sudden growth spurt that causes his body to grow much faster than his lungs. he starts high school with wonshik later that same year.
when hongbin is fifteen, he collapses while playing basketball during gym from a secondary spontaneous pneumothorax. the last thing he sees before the build up of carbon dioxide in his blood causes him to black out is wonshik leaning over him, eyes wide with panic and cradling his head as he folds wings that only hongbin can see and feel protectively around his body.
he's taken into emergency surgery, where he dies on the operating table. hongbin knows he's dead because he sees his parents, who cry when he starts walking towards the light that reminds him of wonshik, soft and warm and safe -- but then wonshik is there, and he grabs hongbin's hand and pulls him back.
hongbin wakes up from his coma a week later. wonshik is asleep at his side, still holding his hand tightly as he rests his head at an uncomfortable angle in the crook of his other arm, white hair a little greasy-looking, like he hasn't showered in a few days. he snores loudly, and he doesn't have wings anymore.
when hongbin is sixteen, he finds wonshik sitting by the back entrance of the temple, watching the rain like he has been every day for the past few weeks instead of doing his homework or composing or sleeping. whenever hongbin asks him what's wrong, if he wants to talk about it, wonshik just smiles a little and tells him it's fine, it's nothing. hongbin pretends not to notice whenever wonshik absently reaches up to rub his shoulders, like there's always a knot in them, even though hongbin knows it's really the opposite -- that something is missing.
it's pathetic compared to everything wonshik has done for him, but nevertheless hongbin saves up his allowance and his birthday money and buys wonshik a 16 GB ipod nano for christmas, which he fills with music he picks out himself, songs that he likes and songs he thinks wonshik would like, songs with lyrics that say all the things he would if he were better with words. he ends up not being able to wait and gives it to wonshik a few days later in an empty bungeoppang box, because hongbin never learned how to wrap presents nicely.
when hongbin asks wonshik if he's crying, the other boy denies it and blames it on the rain, even though they're sitting inside. he sniffles loudly behind his knees, earbuds in, leaning into hongbin as he strokes wonshik's back.
i'm sorry.
for what?
i dunno. everything. because i... for making you...
...dumbass. i'm supposed to protect you.
i know, but--
kongie, shut up.
when hongbin is sixteen, wonshik kisses him for the first time.
when hongbin is seventeen, he and wonshik both pass an audition; hongbin with his singing and good looks, and wonshik with his rap and dance. they move into a tiny dorm with a bunch of other trainees -- a foreign-looking boy with a big nose and a bigger voice; a pale boy who glares and rarely speaks, but when he does it's the shyest, gentlest sound hongbin has ever heard; a lanky boy who calls himself the leader and dotes on everyone and talks and talks and talks. his eyes light up when he sees wonshik, and he detaches himself from the quiet boy's arm to race over and pull him into a hug, chatting excitedly like he hasn't seen him in forever, even though hongbin doesn't think they've ever met.
later that evening, after all the introductions and shuffling of luggage and futons, when everyone is in the living room sharing what will probably be their last pot of ramyun before it goes on the list of banned foods during their training period, the talky boy, hakyeon, pulls hongbin aside.
"thank you for taking care of ravi-yah," he whispers in hongbin's ear.
hongbin just stares at him, surprised, until he notices the faint outline of wings behind hakyeon's back.
when hongbin is nineteen, he debuts as an idol along with wonshik and hakyeon and taekwoon and jaehwan and a cute boy named sanghyuk. they're standing backstage at m! countdown, waiting on their first official performance, and hongbin thinks dying was less nerve-wracking than this; wonshik punches him in the arm ("speak for yourself, idiot."). his hair is dyed dark reddish-brown and is only slightly less wavy than hongbin's, but he's dressed all in white, just like when he first appeared all those years ago.
hongbin's hands are still shaking when they do their cheer as a group and when the PD calls them up. they're still shaking when he gets into position and when the lights go down and when he glances to his left, where wonshik is supposed to be in middle of the formation, except he's not -- he's at hongbin's side, with less than minute before the stage lights up again and the cameras go live.
in the dark, wonshik's hand finds his.
what's it like?
what's what like?
heaven. that's where you're from, right?
i'm from jamsil-dong.
...
i'm kidding. it's... i dunno, it's a lot like this, actually. not the place, but the feeling. it feels the same.
the same as what?
as being here with you.