senza misura
rating: pg
pairings: leo/hyuk
wc: 622
pooped this out during work so i didn't even bother capitalizing and stuff. vaguely follows bleach and craving.
senza misura: an italian musical term for "without meter", meaning to play without a beat, using time to measure how long it will take to play the bar.
hakyeon is afraid.
granted, hakyeon is scared of a lot of things, like heights and amusement park rides and ghost stories and large animals, and he gets teased mercilessly for it. but not all of his fears are unjustified.
he's known for a while now. his members like to think they're clever with their little secrets, and he lets them because he understands just how important a sense of privacy is to an idol. but it's impossible for him not to notice when the way sanghyuk looks at taekwoon starts to change, how it goes from trepidation to hope to careful admiration, and then one day to something completely different. he notices when sanghyuk starts napping in the van more often so he can pretend to sleep after practice, laying in bed a little too still, breathing too carefully, like he's waiting for something. he notices how sanghyuk will make faces whenever hakyeon calls him cute and pull away whenever hakyeon tries to hold him, baby him, but does neither when it's taekwoon quietly reaching out for him.
and it's not just the maknae. he notices too, how whenever their seats aren't prearranged at fan signings (and himself and hongbin haven't taken them), taekwoon will always choose a seat on one side of sanghyuk. how even though he'll sit bored and annoyed and disinterested through wonshik's outbursts and jaehwan's antics, he can't quite keep the line of his mouth flat when it's sanghyuk's turn to dance and do aegyo for the crowd. he notices how sometimes he sits deliberately apart from sanghyuk at broadcasts, but always angled so that he can see every clap, every nose scrunch, every eyesmile.
hakyeon worries.
he worries because taekwoon is his best friend and he knows better than anyone that despite whatever the camera sees, taekwoon is far from cold. that even if he shows nothing he feels everything, that he moves slowly because he's careful and he's careful because he's afraid too, afraid of falling more than anyone hakyeon's ever met.
he worries because sanghyuk is fearless, because he's young and bright and eager, ambitious in everything he desires and taekwoon is no exception. because sanghyuk is a boy who would swallow burning stars like sugar cubes and beg for more, intoxicated by the sticky-sweet bitterness of the world he's just beginning to understand beyond his textbooks and tv shows, almost an adult but not just yet and part of hakyeon, the selfish part, wants him to never grow up.
he wants to pretend he doesn't notice when (why) taekwoon starts to smile more easily, how he laughs when sanghyuk whispers in his ear and he thinks no one is looking. he wants to ignore the tiny, heart-shaped bruise on sanghyuk's shoulder that he shouldn't have seen, but did because hongbin was pulling obnoxiously at the hem of sanghyuk's shirt and he's so, so grateful there were no fans around, because even though there are people who would accept and support them no matter what, there are so many more who wouldn't -- the ones who would take something precious and turn it into something ugly and hurtful because being an idol is synonymous with painting a target on your back and they'll use any ammunition they can get their hands on. he's afraid because he knows that as a leader he can only do so much to protect them and as a friend there are some things he can't do at all, no matter how much he wants to, because it's not his place. that some tragedies have to happen on their own and it's only a matter of time.
hakyeon is afraid for them because he already knows the answer long before he has to ask.
do you like him?
i do.
pairings: leo/hyuk
wc: 622
pooped this out during work so i didn't even bother capitalizing and stuff. vaguely follows bleach and craving.
senza misura: an italian musical term for "without meter", meaning to play without a beat, using time to measure how long it will take to play the bar.
hakyeon is afraid.
granted, hakyeon is scared of a lot of things, like heights and amusement park rides and ghost stories and large animals, and he gets teased mercilessly for it. but not all of his fears are unjustified.
he's known for a while now. his members like to think they're clever with their little secrets, and he lets them because he understands just how important a sense of privacy is to an idol. but it's impossible for him not to notice when the way sanghyuk looks at taekwoon starts to change, how it goes from trepidation to hope to careful admiration, and then one day to something completely different. he notices when sanghyuk starts napping in the van more often so he can pretend to sleep after practice, laying in bed a little too still, breathing too carefully, like he's waiting for something. he notices how sanghyuk will make faces whenever hakyeon calls him cute and pull away whenever hakyeon tries to hold him, baby him, but does neither when it's taekwoon quietly reaching out for him.
and it's not just the maknae. he notices too, how whenever their seats aren't prearranged at fan signings (and himself and hongbin haven't taken them), taekwoon will always choose a seat on one side of sanghyuk. how even though he'll sit bored and annoyed and disinterested through wonshik's outbursts and jaehwan's antics, he can't quite keep the line of his mouth flat when it's sanghyuk's turn to dance and do aegyo for the crowd. he notices how sometimes he sits deliberately apart from sanghyuk at broadcasts, but always angled so that he can see every clap, every nose scrunch, every eyesmile.
hakyeon worries.
he worries because taekwoon is his best friend and he knows better than anyone that despite whatever the camera sees, taekwoon is far from cold. that even if he shows nothing he feels everything, that he moves slowly because he's careful and he's careful because he's afraid too, afraid of falling more than anyone hakyeon's ever met.
he worries because sanghyuk is fearless, because he's young and bright and eager, ambitious in everything he desires and taekwoon is no exception. because sanghyuk is a boy who would swallow burning stars like sugar cubes and beg for more, intoxicated by the sticky-sweet bitterness of the world he's just beginning to understand beyond his textbooks and tv shows, almost an adult but not just yet and part of hakyeon, the selfish part, wants him to never grow up.
he wants to pretend he doesn't notice when (why) taekwoon starts to smile more easily, how he laughs when sanghyuk whispers in his ear and he thinks no one is looking. he wants to ignore the tiny, heart-shaped bruise on sanghyuk's shoulder that he shouldn't have seen, but did because hongbin was pulling obnoxiously at the hem of sanghyuk's shirt and he's so, so grateful there were no fans around, because even though there are people who would accept and support them no matter what, there are so many more who wouldn't -- the ones who would take something precious and turn it into something ugly and hurtful because being an idol is synonymous with painting a target on your back and they'll use any ammunition they can get their hands on. he's afraid because he knows that as a leader he can only do so much to protect them and as a friend there are some things he can't do at all, no matter how much he wants to, because it's not his place. that some tragedies have to happen on their own and it's only a matter of time.
hakyeon is afraid for them because he already knows the answer long before he has to ask.
do you like him?
i do.