(no subject)
I'm so paranoid sometimes. Blah.
Erika was supposed to get out of work at a
certain time tonight, she usually calls me when she gets out
or hops online when she gets home. 1.5 hours after she
should have been home I got worried and called her mom.
Hoping maybe she was home.
My fears?
1- That something bad had happened. Someone in the parking lot.
A car accident. A car hijacking. [Too much Law and Order lately.]
Fear number 2?
That she had went out somewhere, to a bar or out with friends, and turned
off her phone. I mean. Not that I'm against her going out anywhere
with friends at all. Or maybe...-hesitant- Even drinking if shes somewhere
with me [ We compromised against drinking, I'm underage anyway, so it would be at a restaurant, at a friends, in Canada. Places I'm with her.] But I was worried she went out. For. Well.
Blah. I hate being so paranoid about her morals and my worth.
Not that I doubt her. I mean, I'm like..98% positive she wouldn't cheat.
[S'why I hate drinking. 1-dangerous. 2-loss of control, no matter how many drinks.]
But I'm not much. I know I'm an immature asshole to her most the time, a prick,
typical bio male, the works.
I'm just postive that she'd be happier off with a dyke that shares her interest or is more her age.
Most the time I just don't want to lose her.
Blah. I gotta calm it down.