til the sun turns black
it's weird for me to talk openly with a guy. even in the most minimal of ways. but tonight i guess all these words and emotions that have been brewing in my head, that i've been dying and trying to get out to anyone who'd give an hour to listen, just exploded out.
some girl at my work got engaged last night. That being the topic of conversation between everyone working tonight. except me. One of my managers, mark, knew about what happend a couple months ago and called me in the office and there we sat for a good hour just talking. He, about his failed relationship and me about mine.
It was refreshing. Hearing it from a point of view I so rarely experience. This in itself is showing a side of me i've never seen, a side that shows me how much i've grown in certain ways.
I don't know how to describe it and i'm still trying to swallow everything. Trying to digest all i've gained just from tonight.
There was a certain void that was filled. I've gained a new friend. Some new form of trust has taken me over and i feel some different form of clarity.
i'm finally now believing and realizing everything that's happend and putting the first foot forward towards moving on. it's a scary fuck-all of a thought but after recent events it's the only thing i've left to do.
now, with only 2 and a half hours ahead of me until i start another all-day work-a-thon i say goodnight. but i leave you with lyrics...to one of my favorite songs of 2006 off of one of my favorite albums of 06...which the list is being compiled...
She lifts her skirt up to her knees
Walks through the garden rows with her bare feet, laughing
I never learned to count my blessings
I choose instead to dwell in my disasters
Walk on down the hill
Through the grass grown tall and brown
And still it's hard somehow to let go of my pain
On past the busted back
Of that old and rusted Cadillac
That sinks into this field collecting rain
Will I always feel this way
So empty, so estranged
Of these cutthroat busted sunsets
These cold and damp white mornings I have grown weary
If through my cracked and dusty dimestore lips
I spoke these words out loud would no one hear me
Lay your blouse across the chair
Let fall the flowers from your hair
And kiss me with that country mouth so plain
Outside the rain is tapping on the leaves
To me it sounds like they're applauding us
The quiet love we make
Will I always feel this way
So empty, so estranged
Well I looked my demons in the eye
Laid bare my chest said do your best to destroy me
See I've been to hell and back so many times
I must admit you kinda bore me
There's a lot of things that can kill a man
There's a lot of ways to die
Yes and some already dead that walk beside me
There's a lot of things I don't understand
Why so many people lie
Well it's the hurt I hide that fuels the fires inside me
will i always feel this way
so empty, so estranged...
some girl at my work got engaged last night. That being the topic of conversation between everyone working tonight. except me. One of my managers, mark, knew about what happend a couple months ago and called me in the office and there we sat for a good hour just talking. He, about his failed relationship and me about mine.
It was refreshing. Hearing it from a point of view I so rarely experience. This in itself is showing a side of me i've never seen, a side that shows me how much i've grown in certain ways.
I don't know how to describe it and i'm still trying to swallow everything. Trying to digest all i've gained just from tonight.
There was a certain void that was filled. I've gained a new friend. Some new form of trust has taken me over and i feel some different form of clarity.
i'm finally now believing and realizing everything that's happend and putting the first foot forward towards moving on. it's a scary fuck-all of a thought but after recent events it's the only thing i've left to do.
now, with only 2 and a half hours ahead of me until i start another all-day work-a-thon i say goodnight. but i leave you with lyrics...to one of my favorite songs of 2006 off of one of my favorite albums of 06...which the list is being compiled...
She lifts her skirt up to her knees
Walks through the garden rows with her bare feet, laughing
I never learned to count my blessings
I choose instead to dwell in my disasters
Walk on down the hill
Through the grass grown tall and brown
And still it's hard somehow to let go of my pain
On past the busted back
Of that old and rusted Cadillac
That sinks into this field collecting rain
Will I always feel this way
So empty, so estranged
Of these cutthroat busted sunsets
These cold and damp white mornings I have grown weary
If through my cracked and dusty dimestore lips
I spoke these words out loud would no one hear me
Lay your blouse across the chair
Let fall the flowers from your hair
And kiss me with that country mouth so plain
Outside the rain is tapping on the leaves
To me it sounds like they're applauding us
The quiet love we make
Will I always feel this way
So empty, so estranged
Well I looked my demons in the eye
Laid bare my chest said do your best to destroy me
See I've been to hell and back so many times
I must admit you kinda bore me
There's a lot of things that can kill a man
There's a lot of ways to die
Yes and some already dead that walk beside me
There's a lot of things I don't understand
Why so many people lie
Well it's the hurt I hide that fuels the fires inside me
will i always feel this way
so empty, so estranged...