Screaming in your pillow does help a teensy bit-even if your roomie thinks you're crazy
I dont think i can take this anymore. I know i have to stay up here if i can, but i dont even know if im strong enough of a person to do that. This whole semester ive had a support system that couldnt be matched, but they're all leaving, every single one of them. And as pathetic as this sounds, i really dont think i can be up here by myself and do this alone. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! But, i cant keep doing this to myself, i cant. I believe everything happens for a reason, so i just have to go w/ it i guess. Well, at least next semester i know i'll be a straight A student, cause i wont have anyone to hang out with....
I guess i also have to keep the whole theory about everything happening for a reason in mind when it comes to him also. He's moving away, and there's a part of me that just wants to pick up and leave and go w/ him, but i know thats not the best thing for me. There's another part of me that couldnt give 2 shits about whats best for me.....i just want this unbearable, uncontrollable, never-ending, aching pain in my heart to stop. I think it has seeped out of my heart and damaged my soul a little. Its completely altered the person i used to be, the person i want to go back to being.....
Hopefully some day soon i'll be able to figure out how to get back to that. Until then, i'll just keep on the happy face and deal w/ it.
I guess i also have to keep the whole theory about everything happening for a reason in mind when it comes to him also. He's moving away, and there's a part of me that just wants to pick up and leave and go w/ him, but i know thats not the best thing for me. There's another part of me that couldnt give 2 shits about whats best for me.....i just want this unbearable, uncontrollable, never-ending, aching pain in my heart to stop. I think it has seeped out of my heart and damaged my soul a little. Its completely altered the person i used to be, the person i want to go back to being.....
Hopefully some day soon i'll be able to figure out how to get back to that. Until then, i'll just keep on the happy face and deal w/ it.