IT is a perpetual sadness that I cannot escape
I can't stop thinking of him, it is like my mind is simply cycling through my favorite memories and in fact I might have even made up a few memories invented them simply dreamt them in my head and I am not sure which memories are real anymore. I think I am losing it. My mind is a mystery even to me I feel like there are some things in life that are simply constant reminders of you and how much I miss you. I am writing and I seem to be randomly slipping into moments of conversation with him as if he will read this and I know he won't. When I am trying to sleep at night I cannot close my eyes to find comfort in the darkness. It is only when I think of you or create stories in my head elaborate conversations that we would have in normal settings while drinking coffee at a starbucks or something.
Roger is here visiting Georgette this weekend and they are going to the opera. It is really hard to see them together because it so greatly reminds me of Joe and of us and what we have. The way he is with her is really endearing. I am constantly seeing the smallest details that fill me with this deep longing, to be with you. In an instant my eyes catch that moment when they are looking at eachother and you can truly tell when you see the way their eyes open to one another that they are in love.
I can't stop missing him and thinking of him and how much I just want to be with him in his arms to be held. There is something so simplistic and yet so comforting about the touch of a man, that simple caress as he walks past you or sitting near one another his hand upon your leg. At some point in your relationship you don't even think about it, it is second nature to be near one another and to hold onto one another. This comfort you can find in someone else is wonderful until you are without your other half. I know deep down that there is no one in this world I would rather be with than him he is everything for me. I can hardly believe how long we have been together and yet I feel 100 years would still be a short time to spend with him. The closer it gets to seeing him the more anxious I am becoming the greater the longing. I am constantly thinking of him. He is everything to me and I am always lacking when I am not with him.
this sappy sentimentality seems such the opposite to what it should be. I should not be so reliant on a man. I should be self sufficient, and I should be perfectly content without him. I am not, he is everything to me. I am positive that having him in my life is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He completes me, allowing me to be myself nothing more nothing less. I know that it sounds crazy but it is like when i am with him there is nothing that could harm me physically I am loved and content and mentally I am happy and emotionally I am completely loved. There is no greater feeling in life than that of truly being loved and in love.
MEOW heart MEOW
Roger is here visiting Georgette this weekend and they are going to the opera. It is really hard to see them together because it so greatly reminds me of Joe and of us and what we have. The way he is with her is really endearing. I am constantly seeing the smallest details that fill me with this deep longing, to be with you. In an instant my eyes catch that moment when they are looking at eachother and you can truly tell when you see the way their eyes open to one another that they are in love.
I can't stop missing him and thinking of him and how much I just want to be with him in his arms to be held. There is something so simplistic and yet so comforting about the touch of a man, that simple caress as he walks past you or sitting near one another his hand upon your leg. At some point in your relationship you don't even think about it, it is second nature to be near one another and to hold onto one another. This comfort you can find in someone else is wonderful until you are without your other half. I know deep down that there is no one in this world I would rather be with than him he is everything for me. I can hardly believe how long we have been together and yet I feel 100 years would still be a short time to spend with him. The closer it gets to seeing him the more anxious I am becoming the greater the longing. I am constantly thinking of him. He is everything to me and I am always lacking when I am not with him.
this sappy sentimentality seems such the opposite to what it should be. I should not be so reliant on a man. I should be self sufficient, and I should be perfectly content without him. I am not, he is everything to me. I am positive that having him in my life is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He completes me, allowing me to be myself nothing more nothing less. I know that it sounds crazy but it is like when i am with him there is nothing that could harm me physically I am loved and content and mentally I am happy and emotionally I am completely loved. There is no greater feeling in life than that of truly being loved and in love.
MEOW heart MEOW