Talk Rapture to Me, Baby
IT IS UPON US!! HARK! AND STUFF!
Seriously though, this whole Rapture thing happening this Saturday is so crazy! Believe me, I have a strange obsession with apocalypse scenarios, from Mad Max to Waterworld, right down the line to the Christian belief in the Rapture (when all the good boys and girls zoom up to heaven and the rest of us taste God's righteous fist).
I even read that series of Left Behind books, twice, and let me tell you THAT SHIT IS WACK, but also a good read, if you take it as fiction.
A realistic interpretation of the crazy.
Basically, certain types of Christians, mainly the crazies, have been predicting the Rapture for awhile now, and they've been wrong EVERY SINGLE TIME. OBVIOUSLY. We can all agree on that, right?
However, like Trump, they will never admit they were wrong.
They believe that citing some weird spiritual Rapture or fake-out event, as opposed to the real deal, will forgive them their Great Disappointment. This has happened 13 times, according to Wikipedia. THIRTEEN, and that dog is still hunting!
Not to mention, the authors of Left Behind made a fortune off the books, and then went back and wrote more, threw a couple movies out there (Kirk Cameron stars...and believes...gag me) and a children's series. This whole franchising the Lord thing is so evil...I don't know where to start. If they truly believe in this shit, these books should be free!! What does it matter to them?! If they truly believe.
Counterpoint: Stephen Hawking announced just this week in an interview that there is NOTHING after death, absolutely nothing, zilch, zero.
Seems like this guy has more of a reason to hope for the Rapture...wouldn't you say?
So here's my prediction:
As the world becomes more and more chaotic, it becomes easier and easier to pretend you know the answers, and that they lie in Higher Hands. Or no hands at all, but if I've learned anything of life these past twenty four years, it is that absolute order and faith are just as bad as absolute anarchy and chaos.
The Arab World is in the midst of the biggest revolution in contemporary history since the break up of the Soviet, and certainly the bloodiest for years before that. The World Economy teeters on the precipice of collapse because of uncertainty and over/unwise spending. World Faiths scrambles for a foothold in the world of iPhones and super viruses.
We try to process it all, and it is a Rapture of Minds. It is taking some of us out of sane thought and into the realm of retrograde as we fall back on the idea that the Human Race isn't in charge of itself.
When things fall apart, or get tough, the tough get going, but the rest just give up.
Besides, it's easy to avoid lowering your carbon footprint if you believe the world is ending.
It's even easier to not care about a bunch of innocent Arabs (who you think are all Muslims, which is a false assumption) getting massacred if you believe the world is ending.
Why bother, right?
In Conclusion
They are wrong. That is all. Get over it, and go to work and vote and raise your children with love and tolerance in their hearts.
BE A GOOD HUMAN BEING, and stop hiding behind your religion in order to define your righteousness.
(and to all the noncrazy Christians out there: much love and respect.)
Seriously though, this whole Rapture thing happening this Saturday is so crazy! Believe me, I have a strange obsession with apocalypse scenarios, from Mad Max to Waterworld, right down the line to the Christian belief in the Rapture (when all the good boys and girls zoom up to heaven and the rest of us taste God's righteous fist).
I even read that series of Left Behind books, twice, and let me tell you THAT SHIT IS WACK, but also a good read, if you take it as fiction.
A realistic interpretation of the crazy.
Basically, certain types of Christians, mainly the crazies, have been predicting the Rapture for awhile now, and they've been wrong EVERY SINGLE TIME. OBVIOUSLY. We can all agree on that, right?
However, like Trump, they will never admit they were wrong.
They believe that citing some weird spiritual Rapture or fake-out event, as opposed to the real deal, will forgive them their Great Disappointment. This has happened 13 times, according to Wikipedia. THIRTEEN, and that dog is still hunting!
Not to mention, the authors of Left Behind made a fortune off the books, and then went back and wrote more, threw a couple movies out there (Kirk Cameron stars...and believes...gag me) and a children's series. This whole franchising the Lord thing is so evil...I don't know where to start. If they truly believe in this shit, these books should be free!! What does it matter to them?! If they truly believe.
Counterpoint: Stephen Hawking announced just this week in an interview that there is NOTHING after death, absolutely nothing, zilch, zero.
Seems like this guy has more of a reason to hope for the Rapture...wouldn't you say?
So here's my prediction:
As the world becomes more and more chaotic, it becomes easier and easier to pretend you know the answers, and that they lie in Higher Hands. Or no hands at all, but if I've learned anything of life these past twenty four years, it is that absolute order and faith are just as bad as absolute anarchy and chaos.
The Arab World is in the midst of the biggest revolution in contemporary history since the break up of the Soviet, and certainly the bloodiest for years before that. The World Economy teeters on the precipice of collapse because of uncertainty and over/unwise spending. World Faiths scrambles for a foothold in the world of iPhones and super viruses.
We try to process it all, and it is a Rapture of Minds. It is taking some of us out of sane thought and into the realm of retrograde as we fall back on the idea that the Human Race isn't in charge of itself.
When things fall apart, or get tough, the tough get going, but the rest just give up.
Besides, it's easy to avoid lowering your carbon footprint if you believe the world is ending.
It's even easier to not care about a bunch of innocent Arabs (who you think are all Muslims, which is a false assumption) getting massacred if you believe the world is ending.
Why bother, right?
In Conclusion
They are wrong. That is all. Get over it, and go to work and vote and raise your children with love and tolerance in their hearts.
BE A GOOD HUMAN BEING, and stop hiding behind your religion in order to define your righteousness.
(and to all the noncrazy Christians out there: much love and respect.)