Lets do the Time Warp Again!
The past season of Glee has reminded me of something rather profound and extremely important. It's a fact that has lain dormant for years, waiting to be reminded that it exists. Like the grandparents in the Shirley Temple film The Blue Bird, it only exists when I think of it, but when I do it is good and the sun shines down from above.
...
JOHN STAMOS IS SEXY AS HELL, YO
and apparently he can sing!
Which led me to my favorite topic: the men I love to love.
Specifically I'm talking about the ones I'd crush on from afar in my adolescence, those hunks of prime time, cinema and MTV who got my heart racing before I even knew what this was yet.
So I've decided to take a look back. I usually refrain from using smileys in my blog, because I think it's kind of immature and doesn't show off one's ability to write and communicate creatively with the written word...but...
;D
Noah Hathaway
This was WAY BACK in the day, like, I don't even remember a time when I didn't watch the NeverEnding Story (and no, the movie title didn't have a space). I grew up on this. I believe the movie came out two years before I was born, so by the time I was able to actually remember what I was watching (the beginning of the Age of VHS) it was already a classic. I was entirely taken in, as a little boy, by this little boy in an entirely nonsexual way, to be honest. It was one of those childhood crushes that are based on deep, emotional longing to be close and cared for, and to care for someone in return. I truly loved Atreyu! He was absolutely perfect: smart, athletic, adventurous and a bit obstinate. He'll always have a special place in my heart.
Kristian Schmid
These are the ONLY photos I could find of this guy from back when I wanted his shit without even knowing it. He was on a Nickelodeon series called The Tomorrow People, which I watched religiously every week until it disappeared, unexpectedly. It was actually a reworking of a series of the same name from the 1970s, but I didn't care.
All I wanted was Adam (his character name) and that glorious grunge ponytail of his. I fantasized of him as an older brother type, keeping me safe and using his sexy psychic abilities to protect me from evil grown ups and bees (if you watched the show, you'll get the bees thing). Only...it was a little homoerotic, as most things in my youthful mind ended up being. SIDENOTE: Naomie Harris, another cast member, had a substantial supporting role in the last two Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
Hanson
Okay, to be specific, I DID really really like Taylor, but I honestly had a soft spot for Isaac. I thought he was so cool. All that long hair, and he had two younger brothers (OMG ME TOO) and was creative and musical and siiiigh. What a guy. I even did a music-art hybrid project in seventh grade on Hanson. I sat down for days in music class and listened to Hanson and drew personal interpretations (mostly abstract) of what the songs made me feel. It remains to this day my most satisfying school project creatively, artistically and emotionally. And just so Isaac knows, I'm TOTALLY open to married guys. Even straight married guys. With babies.
Big Pete
I refuse to even look up what this person's real name actually happens to be. He will just be Pete. Forever. And I wanted to be his Ellen. I don't know what it was about this creepy ginger kid, but I felt a sudden and powerful longing to have him in my life (and between my legs, in retrospect). I would take a paper cut for him. I would stay up for eleven nights for him. I would do anything.
Leonardo DiCaprio
Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh. I remember this guy from Growing Pains! Such a cutie, and I adored the whole kid from the wrong side of the tracks thing he had in that series. I wanted to fix him. At this point I was able to discern that THIS WAS FICTION but still, I was inbetween childhood and teendom. Not willing to give up my idealistic thought processes, but knowing better than sharing them with anyone besides Melissa Tosiano, my best friend at the time and a fellow inhabitant of Fantasy Land. Leo was great because he was marketed SO WIDELY, and as one of the preteen idols of the 90s, I had plenty of merchandise to choose from! I'm sure I still have that Leo fan book somewhere...
and of course last but not least...
Van Fanel
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Fan boy squee, it's Van!!! I fell absolutely head-over-heels for the anime series The Vision of Escaflowne somewhere in the the chaos of middle school. He was dashing, angry and had a sword. I was sold. Then he busted out a set of angel wings and I melted like butter. Nothing gets me like gorgeous anime boys with wings. I don't know, it's just a thing.
So I hope you've enjoyed this tour through my subconscious childhood and adolescent desires. An incomplete list of the reasons why I would never fall in love with Britney Spears or pine after Sarah Michelle Gellar (now, Seth Green...woof). Thanks for reading. I'm gonna go watch Brokeback Mountain and remind myself that sometimes the unattainable isn't actually that unattainable.
Also I'm gonna count the sheep. G'night, time travelers.
DISCLAIMER: This is obviously an incomplete list. This is one of those 2am spur-of-the-moment blogs, and I'm horny, so give me a break.
...
JOHN STAMOS IS SEXY AS HELL, YO
and apparently he can sing!
Which led me to my favorite topic: the men I love to love.
Specifically I'm talking about the ones I'd crush on from afar in my adolescence, those hunks of prime time, cinema and MTV who got my heart racing before I even knew what this was yet.
So I've decided to take a look back. I usually refrain from using smileys in my blog, because I think it's kind of immature and doesn't show off one's ability to write and communicate creatively with the written word...but...
;D
Noah Hathaway
This was WAY BACK in the day, like, I don't even remember a time when I didn't watch the NeverEnding Story (and no, the movie title didn't have a space). I grew up on this. I believe the movie came out two years before I was born, so by the time I was able to actually remember what I was watching (the beginning of the Age of VHS) it was already a classic. I was entirely taken in, as a little boy, by this little boy in an entirely nonsexual way, to be honest. It was one of those childhood crushes that are based on deep, emotional longing to be close and cared for, and to care for someone in return. I truly loved Atreyu! He was absolutely perfect: smart, athletic, adventurous and a bit obstinate. He'll always have a special place in my heart.
Kristian Schmid
These are the ONLY photos I could find of this guy from back when I wanted his shit without even knowing it. He was on a Nickelodeon series called The Tomorrow People, which I watched religiously every week until it disappeared, unexpectedly. It was actually a reworking of a series of the same name from the 1970s, but I didn't care.
All I wanted was Adam (his character name) and that glorious grunge ponytail of his. I fantasized of him as an older brother type, keeping me safe and using his sexy psychic abilities to protect me from evil grown ups and bees (if you watched the show, you'll get the bees thing). Only...it was a little homoerotic, as most things in my youthful mind ended up being. SIDENOTE: Naomie Harris, another cast member, had a substantial supporting role in the last two Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
Hanson
Okay, to be specific, I DID really really like Taylor, but I honestly had a soft spot for Isaac. I thought he was so cool. All that long hair, and he had two younger brothers (OMG ME TOO) and was creative and musical and siiiigh. What a guy. I even did a music-art hybrid project in seventh grade on Hanson. I sat down for days in music class and listened to Hanson and drew personal interpretations (mostly abstract) of what the songs made me feel. It remains to this day my most satisfying school project creatively, artistically and emotionally. And just so Isaac knows, I'm TOTALLY open to married guys. Even straight married guys. With babies.
Big Pete
I refuse to even look up what this person's real name actually happens to be. He will just be Pete. Forever. And I wanted to be his Ellen. I don't know what it was about this creepy ginger kid, but I felt a sudden and powerful longing to have him in my life (and between my legs, in retrospect). I would take a paper cut for him. I would stay up for eleven nights for him. I would do anything.
Leonardo DiCaprio
Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh. I remember this guy from Growing Pains! Such a cutie, and I adored the whole kid from the wrong side of the tracks thing he had in that series. I wanted to fix him. At this point I was able to discern that THIS WAS FICTION but still, I was inbetween childhood and teendom. Not willing to give up my idealistic thought processes, but knowing better than sharing them with anyone besides Melissa Tosiano, my best friend at the time and a fellow inhabitant of Fantasy Land. Leo was great because he was marketed SO WIDELY, and as one of the preteen idols of the 90s, I had plenty of merchandise to choose from! I'm sure I still have that Leo fan book somewhere...
and of course last but not least...
Van Fanel
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Fan boy squee, it's Van!!! I fell absolutely head-over-heels for the anime series The Vision of Escaflowne somewhere in the the chaos of middle school. He was dashing, angry and had a sword. I was sold. Then he busted out a set of angel wings and I melted like butter. Nothing gets me like gorgeous anime boys with wings. I don't know, it's just a thing.
So I hope you've enjoyed this tour through my subconscious childhood and adolescent desires. An incomplete list of the reasons why I would never fall in love with Britney Spears or pine after Sarah Michelle Gellar (now, Seth Green...woof). Thanks for reading. I'm gonna go watch Brokeback Mountain and remind myself that sometimes the unattainable isn't actually that unattainable.
Also I'm gonna count the sheep. G'night, time travelers.
DISCLAIMER: This is obviously an incomplete list. This is one of those 2am spur-of-the-moment blogs, and I'm horny, so give me a break.
