(no subject)
Because having back problems just wasn't enough, now my heart has begun to pause every now and then, or skip beats, or however you want to word it. Went to the doctor today to see what they could make of this new problem, and also had tests done for my thyroid, which I am pretty certain is an underachiever. Spent two hours at the doctor's, and they really couldn't tell me what I wanted to know most; am I dying faster than everyone else or not? They did an ECG, and I'm to go to Methodist Hospital on Friday to have a 24hr heart monitor put on, so they can see if my heart does anything weird. Maybe I'm just weird. They did urinalysis, too, and drew blood, which had to be done in both arms, because she did it wrong the first time. *headesk*
I can feel the breakdown coming. I've teared up a couple times already tonight, but it hasn't hit quite yet. I'm waiting for it. Another fit of sobbing and screaming and hysterics. Maybe it won't be that bad, but I can feel it coming. My back is aching from all the wandering around the hospital and having to lie on my back for so long while they examined and did tests.
I'm so over this whole damn health business. I want to just lie down and die, and yet I'm afraid that I'm dying, and don't want to. I'm in hypocritical overload right now.
Lord, I just want my life back. I'm so sick of being a burden to everyone.
I can feel the breakdown coming. I've teared up a couple times already tonight, but it hasn't hit quite yet. I'm waiting for it. Another fit of sobbing and screaming and hysterics. Maybe it won't be that bad, but I can feel it coming. My back is aching from all the wandering around the hospital and having to lie on my back for so long while they examined and did tests.
I'm so over this whole damn health business. I want to just lie down and die, and yet I'm afraid that I'm dying, and don't want to. I'm in hypocritical overload right now.
Lord, I just want my life back. I'm so sick of being a burden to everyone.