trying to regain my balance
On Wednesday last my piano and two of my bookcases were moved over here from my parents' house. I'm so glad to have my piano, it's such a relief and makes me feel so much more at home having it where I can plunk around on it and practice music again. I've also slowly been bringing over bags and boxes of my books and other stuff; managed to get all the books I currently have into the bookcases today. Having more of my things here makes it feel that much more like this is really my home.
Yesterday Krys and I went to Highland after I got off work. I'd been sitting on a giftcard for Half Price books for about three years, so I finally went and spent that. There was a music journal that I had seen the last time I was there and really wanted to get, so I bought that, and found a few other books that looked interesting. I've had a song in my head for a number of months now, and since I've finally got the piano back I hope to start marking it down and sorting it out. Maybe I can actually make something from it. But anyway, back to the Highland trip, after hitting Half Price we went to dinner at Bakers Square. It'd been a little while since I was last there, and pie sounded really good.
I've been given the name of a psychotherapist, and I'm trying to get up the courage to make an appointment and go for at least the initial screening. I know I'm not okay, and it's not getting any better. But it's not easy making that call. It's not easy at all. I'm scared though. Tuesday last I flipped out over something no rational person gets upset about, and it led to a horrid decision that if I hadn't managed to stop myself could have led to a hospital trip... or worse. That's the second time in a month, or maybe even less, that I've had something close to a breakdown. I'm torn... and lost... confused, scared, miserable.
Yesterday Krys and I went to Highland after I got off work. I'd been sitting on a giftcard for Half Price books for about three years, so I finally went and spent that. There was a music journal that I had seen the last time I was there and really wanted to get, so I bought that, and found a few other books that looked interesting. I've had a song in my head for a number of months now, and since I've finally got the piano back I hope to start marking it down and sorting it out. Maybe I can actually make something from it. But anyway, back to the Highland trip, after hitting Half Price we went to dinner at Bakers Square. It'd been a little while since I was last there, and pie sounded really good.
I've been given the name of a psychotherapist, and I'm trying to get up the courage to make an appointment and go for at least the initial screening. I know I'm not okay, and it's not getting any better. But it's not easy making that call. It's not easy at all. I'm scared though. Tuesday last I flipped out over something no rational person gets upset about, and it led to a horrid decision that if I hadn't managed to stop myself could have led to a hospital trip... or worse. That's the second time in a month, or maybe even less, that I've had something close to a breakdown. I'm torn... and lost... confused, scared, miserable.