Like Water for Chocolate.
Some days I sleep too much and others I sleep too little. I'm tired as hell right now but my mind it too active to let me off easy tonight.
I'm mostly anxious because I bought my plane ticket to go visit Joey on Friday. And this time next week, I'll probably be packing my things and being giddy like a school girl about my trip.
I planned on leaving on the 11th, but for whatever reason, the prices jumped so I had to buy the tickets for a day earlier.
Anyway, I'll be there from the 10th until the 17th. Only the 17th doesn't count as a full day as my flight takes off at 6:45 that morning. Which I guess also means I have to be at the airport at 4:45 that morning. Ugh. I searched for better times at that same price but came up empty handed. The next date with that available deal was for the following Tuesday and there's just no way I could afford that much time away from work.
Anyway, the mood seems to be a little different this time around with Joey. I think it's mostly due to the fact that he's been in a serious slump. That and it's almost feeling like we're falling into some weird routine what with my traveling over a thousand miles to see him again.
Last year, I visited him twice in New Jersey. This year, I'm coming to see him in Indiana. They're both about the same distance away from here.
I don't know. I can tell he really could use the familiar face and some real affection. And it helps that I understand him and where he's coming from pretty well. But something is a bit off. Or maybe I'm just over-analyzing it. I'm probably just being insecure.
I like to think I outgrew my insecurities, but then they always sneak up on me. They don't weigh nearly as heavily on me as they used to though. Don't ask me how or why, but my confidence has sky-rocketed over the past couple of years and things just don't bother me half as much as they used to. Hmm. Well I guess it's more accurate to say it's a combination of confidence and apathy. Deciding just who's opinion really matters to you makes a huge difference.
I told Joey I'd give him a call one of these days and have been lacking the motivation to do so. I honestly don't have anything to say to him. Nothing he doesn't already know, anyway. And he doesn't care for me to repeat myself. Eh. I'll probably call him when during my layover next week just to remind him to be on time lol.
Tomorrow is my day off. I need to go out for a run, do laundry, and put clothes away from the last time I did laundry. I really just need to come up with a playlist with a bunch of songs that get me in a productive mood for a couple of hours. Once I get started, it shouldn't take me too long.
I'm telling myself to make it a point to run everyday until I leave.
Oh and guess what I did? I gave up soda for lent. The first week and a half was a bitch. Now, it's significantly easier to avoid. I only ever drank sprite or orange soda, so the lack of caffeine wasn't an issue. Thank goodness. My coworker had to quit for health reasons and has been having migraines everyday since. But that guy drank at least 4 cans a day, so I guess that's what he gets for not weening himself off?
Whatever. I just wish he'd stop sending me messages on facebook. I'm trying to find the nicest way possible to tell him I DON'T CARE.
If there's any lesson I learned from being single this long it's that I've learned to be a little selfish and to stop caring so damn much (if at all) about people. Some say it's mean; I say it's blatantly honest. At least there's no beating around the bush about it.
I no longer have the patience to pretend to care. I do that enough with the customers I face everyday. At least I get paid to pretend to care that their water softener doesn't work. Or that they need a new refrigerator. But when I'm not on the clock, please don't come whining to me because I just can't be nice about it anymore. I just don't have it in me. All that is is wasted effort that I need to place on more important people and things.
I'm not sorry for that.
Believe it or not, I've come across a mess of people that get offended over that.
Oh well.
Ugh. It's late. I think I'm gonna try to read myself to sleep by watching anime that's subtitled.
Good night to you.
I'm mostly anxious because I bought my plane ticket to go visit Joey on Friday. And this time next week, I'll probably be packing my things and being giddy like a school girl about my trip.
I planned on leaving on the 11th, but for whatever reason, the prices jumped so I had to buy the tickets for a day earlier.
Anyway, I'll be there from the 10th until the 17th. Only the 17th doesn't count as a full day as my flight takes off at 6:45 that morning. Which I guess also means I have to be at the airport at 4:45 that morning. Ugh. I searched for better times at that same price but came up empty handed. The next date with that available deal was for the following Tuesday and there's just no way I could afford that much time away from work.
Anyway, the mood seems to be a little different this time around with Joey. I think it's mostly due to the fact that he's been in a serious slump. That and it's almost feeling like we're falling into some weird routine what with my traveling over a thousand miles to see him again.
Last year, I visited him twice in New Jersey. This year, I'm coming to see him in Indiana. They're both about the same distance away from here.
I don't know. I can tell he really could use the familiar face and some real affection. And it helps that I understand him and where he's coming from pretty well. But something is a bit off. Or maybe I'm just over-analyzing it. I'm probably just being insecure.
I like to think I outgrew my insecurities, but then they always sneak up on me. They don't weigh nearly as heavily on me as they used to though. Don't ask me how or why, but my confidence has sky-rocketed over the past couple of years and things just don't bother me half as much as they used to. Hmm. Well I guess it's more accurate to say it's a combination of confidence and apathy. Deciding just who's opinion really matters to you makes a huge difference.
I told Joey I'd give him a call one of these days and have been lacking the motivation to do so. I honestly don't have anything to say to him. Nothing he doesn't already know, anyway. And he doesn't care for me to repeat myself. Eh. I'll probably call him when during my layover next week just to remind him to be on time lol.
Tomorrow is my day off. I need to go out for a run, do laundry, and put clothes away from the last time I did laundry. I really just need to come up with a playlist with a bunch of songs that get me in a productive mood for a couple of hours. Once I get started, it shouldn't take me too long.
I'm telling myself to make it a point to run everyday until I leave.
Oh and guess what I did? I gave up soda for lent. The first week and a half was a bitch. Now, it's significantly easier to avoid. I only ever drank sprite or orange soda, so the lack of caffeine wasn't an issue. Thank goodness. My coworker had to quit for health reasons and has been having migraines everyday since. But that guy drank at least 4 cans a day, so I guess that's what he gets for not weening himself off?
Whatever. I just wish he'd stop sending me messages on facebook. I'm trying to find the nicest way possible to tell him I DON'T CARE.
If there's any lesson I learned from being single this long it's that I've learned to be a little selfish and to stop caring so damn much (if at all) about people. Some say it's mean; I say it's blatantly honest. At least there's no beating around the bush about it.
I no longer have the patience to pretend to care. I do that enough with the customers I face everyday. At least I get paid to pretend to care that their water softener doesn't work. Or that they need a new refrigerator. But when I'm not on the clock, please don't come whining to me because I just can't be nice about it anymore. I just don't have it in me. All that is is wasted effort that I need to place on more important people and things.
I'm not sorry for that.
Believe it or not, I've come across a mess of people that get offended over that.
Oh well.
Ugh. It's late. I think I'm gonna try to read myself to sleep by watching anime that's subtitled.
Good night to you.