it's fun to be a laughing kid
you know what? i am so happy to just be a kid. i'm happy tonight turned out the way it did. i'm happy with everything right now. before i pictured this party would be like a way-cool total college party with no parents and just alcohol, weed, and naughty boys and girls.... but like, it was so funny. tonight was the total opposite and it was soooo much fun! i'm kinda glad i didnt grow up tonight. i'm kinda glad the parental figures stayed and the pot crew couldnt come to corrupt me and take away my pot innocence just yet. i'm kinda glad we had to hide the "beverages" in my closet and make it the private shot area. it felt like such an 8th grade thing to do but it was so much fun. and the "so, are there no adults in the apartment right now?" question was so much fun.... i loved the feeling of such silly rebellion and riskiness. it was adventurous, childish, immature, but utterly fun! i loved it.... and i loved being a kid. i love being a kid.
i'm glad the people who came did because they all made it so memorable. so we didnt get to do everything everyone does at college parties. we did funner stuff.... we ate too much chocolate from the chocolate fountain, played pool, went jacuzzing, had waterguns but didnt use them unfortunately haha, watched scary movies, hid stuff in my closet, and hung out in my room goofing off with musical instruments, pillows, and anything we could get a hold of. hahahaha. oh yes and how could i forget... our photo shoots, the funnest part hahaha.
it's so funny how like yesterday i felt like everything was changing but when i am with these certain people, everything seems to be just right. its like the feeling i get with music and movies and art and entertainment. time just stops. the world is not focusing on any other person of any other age or generation but you. the here and the now become the focus. and i love it. i noticed that i need to appreciate the people who are always really there the most because they are who i am most comfortable with and they are who i have the most fun with.... everyone who came have always been there and i'm sorry for sometimes taking them for granted. i'm also really thankful for those who called and im-ed and gave some sort of message.... i dont know, i just felt really special tonight and like everything was the way it should be... and things would work itself out.
i'm here by myself on my bed thinking about the night.... it was absolutely so much more than i could ever ask for and i am so lucky for all the people in my life and all the love i've been surrounded with. my parents and my sister care so much and sometimes i forget that. all these people.... even though at first i was like "aww no one came"..... that's just nonsense.... these people came and made it what it was. so what.... it was only like 30 people total hahahaha and only like 20 left for the apartment stuff. i had so much fun.
jess, my best friend and 3rd sister (oh with our little brother bobby haha), who always makes me feel like everything is going as it should, "everything happens for a reason"; reena, another best friend, who has always been there and does so much for me even risking the long drive and getting into major trouble with the parentals just to come see me; renee-michele who is such a great friend and takes care of me like a sister, noel, kristine, michael, bert, mike, abby, janice, april, my sister's friends, john, kevin, ate elalen, suzaine, kuya jr, ate babes, my family, the wolfords.... everyone
tonight, as weird as it sounds, i really learned how to give a real hug. all the hugs given tonight were meaningful and special.... everyone made me feel special and i feel so lucky to have them all in my life. and for the first time, i'm not really ashamed to say "yeah, my dad is a producer on the side" "yeah my mom can be an interior decorator" "my sister, my best friend, my....." i can go on. i'm like not ashamed to be so proud of the people i love the most and care about so much. this entry is long and seems random.... but i'm just saying i'm really happy to be a kid. and i love feeling this way. i love the feeling of living for the present and feeling secure and happy with the people you know. it's so great how being with some people can just make you forget the rapidness of time and the change that goes by when you are all alone and you have time to think about it.
i guess i just want you to know that i appreciate you so much. you all mean so much to me, and the things you do are amazing and make me just so happy and i'm thankful for you.
i'm glad the people who came did because they all made it so memorable. so we didnt get to do everything everyone does at college parties. we did funner stuff.... we ate too much chocolate from the chocolate fountain, played pool, went jacuzzing, had waterguns but didnt use them unfortunately haha, watched scary movies, hid stuff in my closet, and hung out in my room goofing off with musical instruments, pillows, and anything we could get a hold of. hahahaha. oh yes and how could i forget... our photo shoots, the funnest part hahaha.
it's so funny how like yesterday i felt like everything was changing but when i am with these certain people, everything seems to be just right. its like the feeling i get with music and movies and art and entertainment. time just stops. the world is not focusing on any other person of any other age or generation but you. the here and the now become the focus. and i love it. i noticed that i need to appreciate the people who are always really there the most because they are who i am most comfortable with and they are who i have the most fun with.... everyone who came have always been there and i'm sorry for sometimes taking them for granted. i'm also really thankful for those who called and im-ed and gave some sort of message.... i dont know, i just felt really special tonight and like everything was the way it should be... and things would work itself out.
i'm here by myself on my bed thinking about the night.... it was absolutely so much more than i could ever ask for and i am so lucky for all the people in my life and all the love i've been surrounded with. my parents and my sister care so much and sometimes i forget that. all these people.... even though at first i was like "aww no one came"..... that's just nonsense.... these people came and made it what it was. so what.... it was only like 30 people total hahahaha and only like 20 left for the apartment stuff. i had so much fun.
jess, my best friend and 3rd sister (oh with our little brother bobby haha), who always makes me feel like everything is going as it should, "everything happens for a reason"; reena, another best friend, who has always been there and does so much for me even risking the long drive and getting into major trouble with the parentals just to come see me; renee-michele who is such a great friend and takes care of me like a sister, noel, kristine, michael, bert, mike, abby, janice, april, my sister's friends, john, kevin, ate elalen, suzaine, kuya jr, ate babes, my family, the wolfords.... everyone
tonight, as weird as it sounds, i really learned how to give a real hug. all the hugs given tonight were meaningful and special.... everyone made me feel special and i feel so lucky to have them all in my life. and for the first time, i'm not really ashamed to say "yeah, my dad is a producer on the side" "yeah my mom can be an interior decorator" "my sister, my best friend, my....." i can go on. i'm like not ashamed to be so proud of the people i love the most and care about so much. this entry is long and seems random.... but i'm just saying i'm really happy to be a kid. and i love feeling this way. i love the feeling of living for the present and feeling secure and happy with the people you know. it's so great how being with some people can just make you forget the rapidness of time and the change that goes by when you are all alone and you have time to think about it.
i guess i just want you to know that i appreciate you so much. you all mean so much to me, and the things you do are amazing and make me just so happy and i'm thankful for you.