hello time
time really is a funny thing. it goes by so fast, but sometimes things that happened yesterday seem like they've happened over a week ago... but while these things are happening, it goes by so fast. my sister's party was soo much fun, and las vegas was awesome. 4 days with jess!! ya gotta love it! because i sure did, but of course. okay sister's party: amaaazing... there was a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!!! and an open bar with like bartenders who didnt check IDs. it was a t the presidential suite at the hilton in costa mesa, so it was sweet, pretty big. it got broken up at 12 though... that sucked because people had noise complaints, but it was soooo cool... it was so like VIP status, hollywood, paris hilton themed. i loved it... too bad it wasnt my bday haha that wouldve been awesome. it was hypnotic themed so like everyone wore all blue; lots of people came and it was fun. we slept there and all. then, we went to las vegas on friday and got back today. we had no sleep!!! haha i'm soo glad i got to go with jess!!! there were surprisingly some nice good-looking people there when we went... late night strolls on the strip (while it rained haha yeah i know). it was too much fun; we did alot. and the road trip was hilarious too. "staring at a maple leave, leaning on a mother tree, i said to myself we all lost touch... oh chariot.. (i mean) oh chocolate, give me your... strength" (choreographed dance in the background while playing our guitar backpacks and drum bracelets!.... it's all in the music video! yay!!)
we went to watch a play for my costume design class today; then we went to my scriptwriting group meeting thing and i realized that i am so lucky. i love my girlfriends and i shouldnt even worry about boys and all because your girlfriends are the ones who are gonna be there in the end, like why stress about a guy when you can go out and have fun with your girlfriends. that's totally "almost famous" ish and "the sweetest thing" ish... but wow, it just took me that long to realize. i always wanted to be like kate hudson's free-spirited, fun roles in movies and i just realized that the way they did that was by the way they set their priorities. the people we should be concerned about are the people we can depend on the most. i love my girlfriends and i'm so glad i have them. definitely "self-sufficient on a mission"... "we are divas who dont need or want boys who dont appreciate us".... "we are so vain" haha oh well, we are having fun so who cares what anyone else thinks. we're happy, free, flirtatious, and fun gals... all that matters. "never take it seriously".. it really makes sense now.
boys who flake dont deserve your time or your stress, so just forget about them. dont come around, let them come around. be the pursued, not the pursuee.
on a different note:
i came across new pictures of people i havent seen in ages; it's amazing to see how different they look. they can still look exactly the same, and that's when you know things have changed... when they still look different despite that fact. it's like something in their eyes, something about their face tells you that they are different now. you used to be a part of that life, but now your view of them becomes objective.... you're a stranger and maybe they won't recognize you. you dont cross their mind anymore; they've moved on. and you know that now, now that you are not in their life anymore... they've been better than they have ever been before. are you supposed to feel happy that they are finally happy and they are getting all the luck they deserve? or are you supposed to feel sad knowing that you were the one holding them back from getting their luck and happiness any sooner? it's so difficult to feel both because you really feel like you're being torn apart. this is hurting you so much inside you hate it, but you love it and adore it because you are amazed at your capability of feeling something so real as these emotions. you just want to stop feeling anything anymore because it becomes too much for you to handle. all the hurtful and beautiful things overwhelm you, and this surge of feeling just confuses you and makes you want to burst because you dont know what else you are supposed to do, or what you can do. you dont understand, but it makes so much sense. you feel so much, what are you supposed to do with all that feeling?
i really feel like i'm getting so much more opinions about life... my cousin was right: the older you get, the more you tihnk about life and form opinions about it. the more opinions you form about it, the more you begin to hate it because it starts to seem ridiculous.
we went to watch a play for my costume design class today; then we went to my scriptwriting group meeting thing and i realized that i am so lucky. i love my girlfriends and i shouldnt even worry about boys and all because your girlfriends are the ones who are gonna be there in the end, like why stress about a guy when you can go out and have fun with your girlfriends. that's totally "almost famous" ish and "the sweetest thing" ish... but wow, it just took me that long to realize. i always wanted to be like kate hudson's free-spirited, fun roles in movies and i just realized that the way they did that was by the way they set their priorities. the people we should be concerned about are the people we can depend on the most. i love my girlfriends and i'm so glad i have them. definitely "self-sufficient on a mission"... "we are divas who dont need or want boys who dont appreciate us".... "we are so vain" haha oh well, we are having fun so who cares what anyone else thinks. we're happy, free, flirtatious, and fun gals... all that matters. "never take it seriously".. it really makes sense now.
boys who flake dont deserve your time or your stress, so just forget about them. dont come around, let them come around. be the pursued, not the pursuee.
on a different note:
i came across new pictures of people i havent seen in ages; it's amazing to see how different they look. they can still look exactly the same, and that's when you know things have changed... when they still look different despite that fact. it's like something in their eyes, something about their face tells you that they are different now. you used to be a part of that life, but now your view of them becomes objective.... you're a stranger and maybe they won't recognize you. you dont cross their mind anymore; they've moved on. and you know that now, now that you are not in their life anymore... they've been better than they have ever been before. are you supposed to feel happy that they are finally happy and they are getting all the luck they deserve? or are you supposed to feel sad knowing that you were the one holding them back from getting their luck and happiness any sooner? it's so difficult to feel both because you really feel like you're being torn apart. this is hurting you so much inside you hate it, but you love it and adore it because you are amazed at your capability of feeling something so real as these emotions. you just want to stop feeling anything anymore because it becomes too much for you to handle. all the hurtful and beautiful things overwhelm you, and this surge of feeling just confuses you and makes you want to burst because you dont know what else you are supposed to do, or what you can do. you dont understand, but it makes so much sense. you feel so much, what are you supposed to do with all that feeling?
i really feel like i'm getting so much more opinions about life... my cousin was right: the older you get, the more you tihnk about life and form opinions about it. the more opinions you form about it, the more you begin to hate it because it starts to seem ridiculous.