Update
Grandma has taken a turn for the worse. When they removed parts of her intestine, they had to do something to her stomach, and now she isn't digesting food :( They think that she has to do another surgery....
She said please don't do that to me, this is no life for me, I want to die. It's fucking heart breaking. I am not ready to lose her. I'm not. But is it fair of us to make her go through another painful surgery, hope she recovers to live the next 6 months in a nursing home in a fucking wheel chair, and then have her go through another surgery so she doesn't have to shit in a bag anymore... then to spend another 6 months in a nursing home and pray she learns to walk again?
I am so torn. I would not want that life. I couldn't live that life....
I love my grandma so much, that I"m trying to get the courage to tell her that it's her choice, and I'll agree to what she wants. But then I want to go into her room and scream at her, " don't you leave me here, don't do it, I need you." but that will only break her heart.
I got a call on my cell phone last night @ 2:00am... I was out with friends, and it was my mom crying... she said the hospital called for me because my grandmother was screaming for her guardian angel... and that she needed her Emily right now... it broke my heart when I called her room.
She started balling, "my Emily why did you leave me here.. where are you.. my gaudian angels are gone, and I need you."
Talk about heart wrentching... I mean I am sooooo happy that my grandmother loves me that much, I mean she's always told everyone that I"m the only granddaughter that comes to see her weekly, and not that she's in the hospital I'm the only one who sees her almost everyday.. but I can't get that call again.
I think it will litteraly break me heart.
Dear god, give my the strength to do the right thing here.
She said please don't do that to me, this is no life for me, I want to die. It's fucking heart breaking. I am not ready to lose her. I'm not. But is it fair of us to make her go through another painful surgery, hope she recovers to live the next 6 months in a nursing home in a fucking wheel chair, and then have her go through another surgery so she doesn't have to shit in a bag anymore... then to spend another 6 months in a nursing home and pray she learns to walk again?
I am so torn. I would not want that life. I couldn't live that life....
I love my grandma so much, that I"m trying to get the courage to tell her that it's her choice, and I'll agree to what she wants. But then I want to go into her room and scream at her, " don't you leave me here, don't do it, I need you." but that will only break her heart.
I got a call on my cell phone last night @ 2:00am... I was out with friends, and it was my mom crying... she said the hospital called for me because my grandmother was screaming for her guardian angel... and that she needed her Emily right now... it broke my heart when I called her room.
She started balling, "my Emily why did you leave me here.. where are you.. my gaudian angels are gone, and I need you."
Talk about heart wrentching... I mean I am sooooo happy that my grandmother loves me that much, I mean she's always told everyone that I"m the only granddaughter that comes to see her weekly, and not that she's in the hospital I'm the only one who sees her almost everyday.. but I can't get that call again.
I think it will litteraly break me heart.
Dear god, give my the strength to do the right thing here.