it's my life

[a_beautifulmess]

today was really fucking aggrivating. i'm PMSing like fucking woah. just for warning. i was thinking a lot in school. got a whole lot of no where. i got home at like 4. then eileen called at 6 and asked me to go to tully. i went because i had shit to tell her and i got in trouble for not leaving my rents a note. and i'm really fucking pissed off at my "friends". they're my decisions so just stay out of it. let me live me life. if i make a bad choice then i make a bad choice. it's mine to make. don't interfere. and don't fucking tell me what my problems are and who to be around and how to act toward them. you don't fucking know anything about it so just leave me the hell alone. i'm so fucking sick of people. seriously. the only thing the majority of my friends know how to do is be pissy to me and tell me all the shit that i do wrong and make me feel bad. thats not what friends do. and whenever i get upset or have shit going on no one is ever there for me. i'm always being dramatic. or no one cares. or whatever. fuck all of you. just fuck you.

i really really really miss _______. but it could never be the same. i hate this. i really really hate this. i have no one to blame but myself. and i'm so confused. i don't know what to do or how i even feel about the one thing i was always so sure of. this really all just sucks.

i'm just PMSish and annoyed and stressed and all this other shit. ugh. i wanna do something... but i won't. i can't bring myself to. i don't think.

ok i'm just going to shut up.

oh and by the way. i hate boys.