this is what i get...

[a_beautifulmess]

well last night was emotionally draining... do any of you have any idea how fucking hard it is to cry, breathe, and vomit at the same time?! well let me tell you, i probably could have died. my mom heard me being sick and woke up, she said I had a virus and didn't have to go to school. I knew that i was sick because of how upset I was though. Never the less, I couldn't go to school today in the state I was in, I was miserable and sick all day. I'm calming down a bit now, hence the update. Sam and Eileen text me to see how I was. This made me happy. For all the people who didn't text me, you suck. I have an english paper to do and I really don't want to. It's on To Kill A Mockingbird, which I know all about. But it has to be 5 paragraphs-11 sent. a paragraph. Wtf?!? No. I don't want to do it. Fuck Mrs. Addison. I tried to work on it during the day, but I just couldn't focus. I'm too ... whatever. Instead I sort of freaked out, threw away a lot of shit that I don't need. None of it matters....

my eyes are the size of golf balls, and that is no exaggeration. and they're all red. if they don't go down i can't go to school tomorrow. and they won't go down unless i get myself together. *sigh* ... i hate this so much.

that's really all i have to say. so i guess i shall end this.

and ps - i love you.