Why I Hate English - Journal #1 - Narrative - "Something funny happened on the way to school today"
Ashley Houseman
English 101
Eric Serna
January 28, 2010
Journal #1
Something Funny Happened On The Way To School Today
When I went outside to get in my car to go to my early morning math class, I was met with a very big surprise in the form of a 309' yacht. Suddenly, I saw Lil Wayne and T-Pain throwing money into the streets of my neighborhood and I was even more confused, but then I saw my best friend Bryana on the front of the boat Leonardo di Caprio style, as a big, blue, watery road started to appear.
"I'm on a boat! Get on here!" Bryana yelled, waving her sparkly top hat at me.
I made my way over to the yacht and climbed up on it, and was instructed by Lil Wayne that I was going to drive it to school, but we had to make some stops first.
As I slowly started to navigate down my once paved road, per T-Pain's directions, I started to get distracted by all that was going on. Dolphins were doing flips right next to the boat, and I thought I saw my older brother Ben, climbing on bouies that had since replaced the trees.
"That way!" T-Pain shouted in his auto-tune voice, pointing to the right as I turned the wheel of the yacht hard, snapping myself out of my daze.
"Where are we going?!" I asked, looking around.
"Who cares?" Bryana replied, "We're on a boat! Oh my gosh, take my picture!"
I pulled out my iPhone and snapped a picture of her and T-Pain as we sailed on the boat.
"We need some music!" Lil Wayne yelled from his seat where he was reclined back, smoking a cigarillo, and sipping some Santana champagne out of a "pimp cup."
Then, our friend Sylvia walked up the steps to where we were, and took over the wheel. She asked me for some Mountain Dew since she refuses to accept the fact that she is a diabetic, and I knew I had some in my backpack. I unzipped it, and pulled out a bathing suit, some swim trunks, and plaid flippy-floppies, but no Mountain Dew. "I don't have any!" I called to her, turning back to my backpack to check one last time as some suddenly appeared. "Never mind, here!" I said, giving her some in her black and red pimp cup that was decorated with the I.C.P. Hatchetman.
T-Pain and Lil Wayne shouted out their directions to Sylvia as Bryana and I got our chance to throw money out into the road. A few minutes later we saw signs for Comerica Park and Rick Porcello, Alex Avila, and the former Tiger Curtis Granderson all boarded this magically fast boat. Syliva selected a song to play over the yacht's speakers as we headed down the watery road to wherever Lil Wayne wanted to go next.
"We're so going to miss math dude," I whispered to Bryana as the CD player whirred and clicked, preparing to play whatever song Sylvia had selected.
"It's okay, Grandpa Chong will catch us up on it later in study group, it's Supernatural Thursday! We should watch Supernatural together later at nine on the CW dude!" Bryana replied nonchalantly.
We started dancing to Cobra Starship's "Guilty Pleasure," and taught Granderson, Porcello, Avila, T-Pain, and Lil Wayne the dance that went with it. We danced for awhile, then sat back and enjoyed the view while Sylvia was chugging her Mountain Dew, and steering the yacht.
"Where are we?" Curtis Granderson asked, suddenly looking around and noticing palm trees.
"We're in Miami trick!" T-Pain shouted, still using his auto-tune voice.
We picked up a few exotic dancers, per T-Pain and Lil Wayne's request, and started back home. I checked my phone for new Twitter updates, and realized that we were moving at hyper-speed since it was only 8:37 and we had already been to Detroit, Miami, and were already half way back home to Muskegon.
Sylvia pulled the yacht up to the main doors of Muskegon Community College, and everyone had stopped and stared at us.
"Better grab an umbrella!" T-Pain shouted as Bryana and I exited the boat, now in shirts that he and Lil Wayne gave us that said "T-Wayne" on the backs as a suveniour of our morning journey.
"What?" I asked, not sure I had heard him correctly.
"Better grab an umbrella!" T-Pain repeted.
"'Cause I make it rain!" Lil Wayne yelled, throwing money everywhere.
After stuffing our backpacks full of their money, Bryana and I ran to our math class like we were at TigerFest, racing to get Rick Porcello's autograph for me (although we had that from our time on the boat with him, and enough pictures to post on Facebook to fill at least four albums).
We ran into the classroom, trying to catch our breath as our teacher and classmates turned to give us weird looks for interrupting.
"Sorry," we said un-apologetically, sitting down for the last ten minutes of class.
"What happened?" Grandpa Chong whispered not so quietly.
"We ended up being on boat," I answered as Bryana covered her mouth to laugh.
If only they knew the half of it.
English 101
Eric Serna
January 28, 2010
Journal #1
Something Funny Happened On The Way To School Today
When I went outside to get in my car to go to my early morning math class, I was met with a very big surprise in the form of a 309' yacht. Suddenly, I saw Lil Wayne and T-Pain throwing money into the streets of my neighborhood and I was even more confused, but then I saw my best friend Bryana on the front of the boat Leonardo di Caprio style, as a big, blue, watery road started to appear.
"I'm on a boat! Get on here!" Bryana yelled, waving her sparkly top hat at me.
I made my way over to the yacht and climbed up on it, and was instructed by Lil Wayne that I was going to drive it to school, but we had to make some stops first.
As I slowly started to navigate down my once paved road, per T-Pain's directions, I started to get distracted by all that was going on. Dolphins were doing flips right next to the boat, and I thought I saw my older brother Ben, climbing on bouies that had since replaced the trees.
"That way!" T-Pain shouted in his auto-tune voice, pointing to the right as I turned the wheel of the yacht hard, snapping myself out of my daze.
"Where are we going?!" I asked, looking around.
"Who cares?" Bryana replied, "We're on a boat! Oh my gosh, take my picture!"
I pulled out my iPhone and snapped a picture of her and T-Pain as we sailed on the boat.
"We need some music!" Lil Wayne yelled from his seat where he was reclined back, smoking a cigarillo, and sipping some Santana champagne out of a "pimp cup."
Then, our friend Sylvia walked up the steps to where we were, and took over the wheel. She asked me for some Mountain Dew since she refuses to accept the fact that she is a diabetic, and I knew I had some in my backpack. I unzipped it, and pulled out a bathing suit, some swim trunks, and plaid flippy-floppies, but no Mountain Dew. "I don't have any!" I called to her, turning back to my backpack to check one last time as some suddenly appeared. "Never mind, here!" I said, giving her some in her black and red pimp cup that was decorated with the I.C.P. Hatchetman.
T-Pain and Lil Wayne shouted out their directions to Sylvia as Bryana and I got our chance to throw money out into the road. A few minutes later we saw signs for Comerica Park and Rick Porcello, Alex Avila, and the former Tiger Curtis Granderson all boarded this magically fast boat. Syliva selected a song to play over the yacht's speakers as we headed down the watery road to wherever Lil Wayne wanted to go next.
"We're so going to miss math dude," I whispered to Bryana as the CD player whirred and clicked, preparing to play whatever song Sylvia had selected.
"It's okay, Grandpa Chong will catch us up on it later in study group, it's Supernatural Thursday! We should watch Supernatural together later at nine on the CW dude!" Bryana replied nonchalantly.
We started dancing to Cobra Starship's "Guilty Pleasure," and taught Granderson, Porcello, Avila, T-Pain, and Lil Wayne the dance that went with it. We danced for awhile, then sat back and enjoyed the view while Sylvia was chugging her Mountain Dew, and steering the yacht.
"Where are we?" Curtis Granderson asked, suddenly looking around and noticing palm trees.
"We're in Miami trick!" T-Pain shouted, still using his auto-tune voice.
We picked up a few exotic dancers, per T-Pain and Lil Wayne's request, and started back home. I checked my phone for new Twitter updates, and realized that we were moving at hyper-speed since it was only 8:37 and we had already been to Detroit, Miami, and were already half way back home to Muskegon.
Sylvia pulled the yacht up to the main doors of Muskegon Community College, and everyone had stopped and stared at us.
"Better grab an umbrella!" T-Pain shouted as Bryana and I exited the boat, now in shirts that he and Lil Wayne gave us that said "T-Wayne" on the backs as a suveniour of our morning journey.
"What?" I asked, not sure I had heard him correctly.
"Better grab an umbrella!" T-Pain repeted.
"'Cause I make it rain!" Lil Wayne yelled, throwing money everywhere.
After stuffing our backpacks full of their money, Bryana and I ran to our math class like we were at TigerFest, racing to get Rick Porcello's autograph for me (although we had that from our time on the boat with him, and enough pictures to post on Facebook to fill at least four albums).
We ran into the classroom, trying to catch our breath as our teacher and classmates turned to give us weird looks for interrupting.
"Sorry," we said un-apologetically, sitting down for the last ten minutes of class.
"What happened?" Grandpa Chong whispered not so quietly.
"We ended up being on boat," I answered as Bryana covered her mouth to laugh.
If only they knew the half of it.