I live!
So my last post was about the May wedding...it went...Pat wasn't feeling 100% before we got there and the church was trying to kill him as he put it. They wanted the wedding to smell pretty so there were tons of flowers and plug ins for example in a small bathroom...like 2 stalls...there were FIVE plug ins. He ended up spending the service in the car and we went straight home because he was not well enough for the reception. So I actually have no idea how the cookies and mints went but well I think.
For my birthday I did a movie night thing but only a couple people were able to come. The next morning I took a train down to Mom's and spent three nights with her prepping for grandpa's estate auction which happened on Sunday the 12th.
The following weekend we went to a concert in Clinton ended up being 8 bands. pretty cool.
Picked up keys to the new place on the 20th. Moved little things all week, got the kitchen together and such. On the 25 we moved the furniture. Spent the next several days unpacking and cleaning and such and got everything packed up and turned in.
July 7 flowers arrived for a friends wedding and I spent all day on the 9th making bouts, corsages, bouquets and sprays. The 10th went well. Everyone thought the flowers beautiful. And I also ran a funny photo booth during the reception. It was fun but exhausting. On th 11-15 I ttok Pat to work so that I could then go out to help with the sports camp our youth group was running for little ones. That was also the week we replaced a bunch of the youth sound equipment, attended membership class, and had some missionaries over for dessert and chatting. On the 16th we helped some friends with painting their new place and then went to supper with a group from our church at Pal Joey's! We helped our friends move to the new place on Sunday then had guests for supper 2 nights that week.
Sunday the 24 of July a week of absolute insanity began. On the 23 we'd gotten a call from a guy who was part of our small group that had gone on break for the summer. He convinced us to restart early so we set up hosting a potluck supper and discussion the next night. On our way home from church, we got a call from Pat's mom that his cousin Dave was being transferred to another hospital. Pat instantly started making plans to go up because Dave's parents together are as volatile as lighter fluid and a match. So I hosted group alone while he and his Mom went up to Marshfield, WI. You know I'll just paste in notes and things from that week cause I'm too lazy to write it all again and frankly I can't keep it all straight.
On Pat's Mom's side of the family it goes like this: Dianne has 2 sons Jeff that she does not talk to and Dave that she dotes on. Then there's Pat's Mom who has him. She miscarried her second baby. Then there is Barbara who had Rebecca who died when she was 7 of cancer and who has
Rachel. And Finally there is Mike who has Matthew and Sarah. When Rebecca died the family kinda shut down. They do not really speak of her. I didn't even see a picture of her until Pat and I had been married a year. When we went to see the grandparents in Florida they pulled out the albums with her pictures in them for me...and then all 3 of them sat there depressed for several hours. About a year ago Dave was diagnosed with diabetes and had several scares where he almost died from not keeping track of his blood sugar correctly. He also has thyroid problems which I'm not sure if they were preexisting or caused when they had to remove a cancerous tumor that was sealing his throat closed back in November and ended up taking more than they expected. Since the surgery he's been back in the hospital several times because of complications with the tracheotomy. They were supposed to be able to downgrade his tubing in January but it was postponed. The cancer returned. On the way home from church we got the initial call saying that Dave had been rushed to a better hospital because on top of the cancer, thyroid problems and diabetes, he now has pneumonia and "something else" they are not sure what. Because it is very unlikely Dave will pull through, Pat headed up almost immediately. Dave is not a believer and his Mom is pretty belligerently anti-god. Dianne was alone at the hospital with her probably dying son who is the center of her existence, her ex-husband who was cheating on her, and his new wife.
To make all this even more interesting 2 weeks ago we heard from the grandparents in Florida that Grandpa has a swelling/lesion on the brain. Currently it is causing him balance issues but if it is not treated it will continue to get worse eventually causing brain damage and death. The only treatment is brain surgery which he is not strong enough to survive according to his doctors. Even better, the grandparents made us all swear not to tell Dianne her dad is dying in the relatively near future because she has her hands full with Dave.
Rebecca's cancer was an aggressive thing like Dave's so there are all the emotions that didn't get dealt with at Rebecca's death coming up as the family tries to stand by Dave. Plus there is the drama associated with Dianne's poor relationships with her ex and her eldest son both of whom are quite close to Dave and have as much right to be with him as she does. The added stress of Dianne and Dave being the only non-Christians on that side of the family makes things even more interesting.
Barb is in North Carolina so a trip to Wisconsin would be very difficult. Mike just got back from Florida to see his dad and hasn't seen his wife and kids for awhile so he's probably not wanting to take more time off work and leave his family again right now. Pat's Mom has a book due tomorrow and her kitty hasn't eaten in 2 days. The last time she made a flying trip to Wisconsin when there was a sick kitty at home she arrived home about an hour before we had to put Captain down and to say she didn't cope well with that would be an understatement. She did not want to leave another sick cat to basically die without her, but she ended up going with Pat. I am here, taking care of our kitty. I hate he's alone but we really didn't have time to arrange a cat sitter and getting them keys for this place.
Got off the phone with Pat around 10. The update is that the doctors now believe Dave doesn't have pneumonia but that it is metastasized lung cancer. Both of his lungs are gone. He is on a ventilator and Dianne has the right to pull the plug. They were pleasantly surprised when putting him on the ventilator didn't kill him. Also around a month ago now Dave was supposed to have a test done that involved iodine but it ended up not happening because the factory that made it was down. Turns out if they'd tried to do the test he would have died instantly his lungs were so bad. Dave is totally sedated right now but they are planning to lighten the sedation in hopes he can blink or move his hand or something in response to his doctor's yes or no questions tomorrow. Pat says unless a huge miracle occurs tomorrow Dave's not going to make it much past then.
UPDATE: Around midnight Sunday the doctors let Dianne and Pat and his Mom know that his throat cancer hadn't just metastasized and killed his lungs. He had cancer in every organ system some of them as bad as his lungs. I rented a car one way and drove up there Monday. When the doctors tried to talk to him Monday morning they were unable to get information. Apparently his brain was no longer creating memories. Barb and Lee began their journey up. Mike planned for coming up on Tuesday. Tuesday around noon Dianne and Ted took Dave off the ventilator since there was no hope they could bring him back. About 20 minutes later he was pronounced dead. The service will be at 11am Friday with Pat officiating. Visitation I believe is family only right before. As of 9 pm last night(Wednesday the 27th) Pat and I were the only cousins that knew. Mike and Darlene didn't want their teenagers to find out when they didn't have an adult with them especially since their daughter had had some emotional trauma late last week. They didn't arrive home until almost 9 last night and the kids were at youth group until a little later. Rachel is on a mission trip and so far they've been unable to reach her. No one is really handling it well. Dianne is going nuts and last night started changing up the service into a 3 ring circus. Pat's currently at work. He needed to go. But we are heading back up tonight(Thursday 28th) or maybe in a couple hours. He'll be calling north in about an hour and if his dad hasn't been able to reign her in a little we'll be going North early to take things in hand. Well that was the plan , but there was a disaster at work and he ended up working a full day. Then we made the 4 hour drive, had a very late supper and discovered we'd forgotten to pack Pat's dress shoes. Finding someplace open at 9:30 was a challenge but we managed to catch a Target next town over that didn't close until 10. When we got back to the hotel I prepped our clothes for the morning and repacked everything except our toiletries and allergy meds for the morning.
Friday morning at 4am we awoke to the fire alarm going off. Bleary eyed we put on shoes, grabbed the bags and our dress clothes leaving toiletries, meds and stuff in the fridge as we at this point could hear the police pounding on doors yelling fire get out of the building. About half an hour later we'd been checked in to the hotel next door and I left Pat to try to sleep while I went out to get more info and frankly I was getting some pictures if my sleep was going to be disturbed. They aren't great pictures because I couldn't use flash and I was slightly shaky but I got some pictures. I learned everyone safely escaped the hotel, this was the second disaster at this hotel in the last year, and that the hotel owner was ready to give up. Originally they thought it was an electrical fire and they were checking to be sure everyone was out and accounted for. It was determined to not be electrical and everyone was out so they started spraying and quickly gained control. I took a shower and went back to bed for a brief time. We got up, got dressed, and Pat went to see if he could get our toiletries and meds since the fire didn't reach our room. He was able to get our stuff and it was all still good...well he didn't get the stuff from the fridge but that's ok. Our new hotel didn't have breakfast so we tried to grab a quick bite, were delayed by a rush at the restaurant delaying our getting our check and ended up not getting to the Funeral home until about 9:45 when visitation started at 9:30 and we'd been expected a few minutes early. It took them awhile to understand we weren't joking our hotel really had been on fire this morning which set us back a bit. The funeral went really well. Everyone thought Pat gave a great message. After we got back to Aunt Dianne's, Pat called to thank our Pastor Jim for all the help and advice that was what made his talk a success. He found out pastor Jim was in emergency heart surgery. The double bypass went well we discovered when we arrived home. But we were very jittery all day on the 30th waiting for one more crazy bad thing to happen just to top the week off right.
The following Tuesday the 2nd Teneil Pat's second childhood cat was put down. His parents then went to Florida to be there when her Mom had gall bladder surgery. Apparently the 9th Great Aunt Kay (sister to grandma who just had gall bladder surgery) died as well. Tuesday was not a good day for a few weeks.
Aug 7, 14, and 21 we attended a friend's church. Week one our friend preached, week 2 Pat did and the third week the 2 fielded questions and led discussion. It was very interesting. Aug 13 Pat took his Cousin Matthew out to see Fermi in an unofficial tour as he's currently at college studying Physics. After that we got to have a great gaming time with Frank and Renae for the first time in forever:)
On the 19th I had breakfast with one of the female deacons and she explained that we'd be on the docket for joining the church once Pastor Jim was up to doing the little ceremony thing. I was supposed to also help some folks pack but didn't happen. The next day however I did help them move. crazy crazy.
On the 27th we learned there was a youth lockin on Sept 16-17 and we were in charge of putting together the photo scavenger hunt for it. We had a ton of fun putting it together:)
Now we're up to Sept. On the 3rd we had supper with the parents. On the 4th lunch with the folks we helped paint and then move. The 10th began our 7 week stretch of being gone every weekend 5 wedding related things and 2 homecomings. The first was an after wedding party at a forest preserve with canoeing down in Bloomington area. While in the area we went to see my Aunt who was in the hospital. 3 hours after we left they mandated masks for people entering and leaving the room. And the next day they took her off the antibiotics and said she no longer had an infection the bacteria had colonized. GAH!
But this past weekend was truly epic. Pat was sick both Thursday and Friday...but after sleeping until noon he was feeling normal again Friday. So he got errands run for the weekend while I got the last few things tied up at home. For the photo scavenger hunt we'd created 12 teams. Each team had a prompt sheet with things mostly different from every other team. Each team also had a garbage bag full of props that HAD to be in each picture. One group had 12 tiaras, a princess center piece, and fairy wands that had glow sticks as handles; another team had grass skirts, lais and a giant cardboard jointed flamingo. You get the idea. From 8:15-10:15pm the teams ran around town (adult drivers taking the kids where they wanted to go) taking pictures of their teams doing ridiculous stuff in costume...and getting strangers to help. Pat finally finished grading and got all the scores into a little power point for presenting at 1:56AM. About 2:15 we presented the winners and then packed up and came home. We arrived home around 3:30.
Around noon we headed out again. This time to a wedding in Galesburg. The wedding started at 4. Around 6:30 we got to eat at the reception. Around 7:30 we headed back home and promptly crashed. Sunday morning we arrived at the church a little before 8 because I was doing the lyrics and lighting and practice starts at 8. After practice, life group and the service at the end of which we were voted into membership we came home and lazed about the rest of the night catching up on rest.
Today I took Pat to work so that I could get the tires rotated and also baked banana bread. I have something to mail today as well. I should probably get busy.
For my birthday I did a movie night thing but only a couple people were able to come. The next morning I took a train down to Mom's and spent three nights with her prepping for grandpa's estate auction which happened on Sunday the 12th.
The following weekend we went to a concert in Clinton ended up being 8 bands. pretty cool.
Picked up keys to the new place on the 20th. Moved little things all week, got the kitchen together and such. On the 25 we moved the furniture. Spent the next several days unpacking and cleaning and such and got everything packed up and turned in.
July 7 flowers arrived for a friends wedding and I spent all day on the 9th making bouts, corsages, bouquets and sprays. The 10th went well. Everyone thought the flowers beautiful. And I also ran a funny photo booth during the reception. It was fun but exhausting. On th 11-15 I ttok Pat to work so that I could then go out to help with the sports camp our youth group was running for little ones. That was also the week we replaced a bunch of the youth sound equipment, attended membership class, and had some missionaries over for dessert and chatting. On the 16th we helped some friends with painting their new place and then went to supper with a group from our church at Pal Joey's! We helped our friends move to the new place on Sunday then had guests for supper 2 nights that week.
Sunday the 24 of July a week of absolute insanity began. On the 23 we'd gotten a call from a guy who was part of our small group that had gone on break for the summer. He convinced us to restart early so we set up hosting a potluck supper and discussion the next night. On our way home from church, we got a call from Pat's mom that his cousin Dave was being transferred to another hospital. Pat instantly started making plans to go up because Dave's parents together are as volatile as lighter fluid and a match. So I hosted group alone while he and his Mom went up to Marshfield, WI. You know I'll just paste in notes and things from that week cause I'm too lazy to write it all again and frankly I can't keep it all straight.
On Pat's Mom's side of the family it goes like this: Dianne has 2 sons Jeff that she does not talk to and Dave that she dotes on. Then there's Pat's Mom who has him. She miscarried her second baby. Then there is Barbara who had Rebecca who died when she was 7 of cancer and who has
Rachel. And Finally there is Mike who has Matthew and Sarah. When Rebecca died the family kinda shut down. They do not really speak of her. I didn't even see a picture of her until Pat and I had been married a year. When we went to see the grandparents in Florida they pulled out the albums with her pictures in them for me...and then all 3 of them sat there depressed for several hours. About a year ago Dave was diagnosed with diabetes and had several scares where he almost died from not keeping track of his blood sugar correctly. He also has thyroid problems which I'm not sure if they were preexisting or caused when they had to remove a cancerous tumor that was sealing his throat closed back in November and ended up taking more than they expected. Since the surgery he's been back in the hospital several times because of complications with the tracheotomy. They were supposed to be able to downgrade his tubing in January but it was postponed. The cancer returned. On the way home from church we got the initial call saying that Dave had been rushed to a better hospital because on top of the cancer, thyroid problems and diabetes, he now has pneumonia and "something else" they are not sure what. Because it is very unlikely Dave will pull through, Pat headed up almost immediately. Dave is not a believer and his Mom is pretty belligerently anti-god. Dianne was alone at the hospital with her probably dying son who is the center of her existence, her ex-husband who was cheating on her, and his new wife.
To make all this even more interesting 2 weeks ago we heard from the grandparents in Florida that Grandpa has a swelling/lesion on the brain. Currently it is causing him balance issues but if it is not treated it will continue to get worse eventually causing brain damage and death. The only treatment is brain surgery which he is not strong enough to survive according to his doctors. Even better, the grandparents made us all swear not to tell Dianne her dad is dying in the relatively near future because she has her hands full with Dave.
Rebecca's cancer was an aggressive thing like Dave's so there are all the emotions that didn't get dealt with at Rebecca's death coming up as the family tries to stand by Dave. Plus there is the drama associated with Dianne's poor relationships with her ex and her eldest son both of whom are quite close to Dave and have as much right to be with him as she does. The added stress of Dianne and Dave being the only non-Christians on that side of the family makes things even more interesting.
Barb is in North Carolina so a trip to Wisconsin would be very difficult. Mike just got back from Florida to see his dad and hasn't seen his wife and kids for awhile so he's probably not wanting to take more time off work and leave his family again right now. Pat's Mom has a book due tomorrow and her kitty hasn't eaten in 2 days. The last time she made a flying trip to Wisconsin when there was a sick kitty at home she arrived home about an hour before we had to put Captain down and to say she didn't cope well with that would be an understatement. She did not want to leave another sick cat to basically die without her, but she ended up going with Pat. I am here, taking care of our kitty. I hate he's alone but we really didn't have time to arrange a cat sitter and getting them keys for this place.
Got off the phone with Pat around 10. The update is that the doctors now believe Dave doesn't have pneumonia but that it is metastasized lung cancer. Both of his lungs are gone. He is on a ventilator and Dianne has the right to pull the plug. They were pleasantly surprised when putting him on the ventilator didn't kill him. Also around a month ago now Dave was supposed to have a test done that involved iodine but it ended up not happening because the factory that made it was down. Turns out if they'd tried to do the test he would have died instantly his lungs were so bad. Dave is totally sedated right now but they are planning to lighten the sedation in hopes he can blink or move his hand or something in response to his doctor's yes or no questions tomorrow. Pat says unless a huge miracle occurs tomorrow Dave's not going to make it much past then.
UPDATE: Around midnight Sunday the doctors let Dianne and Pat and his Mom know that his throat cancer hadn't just metastasized and killed his lungs. He had cancer in every organ system some of them as bad as his lungs. I rented a car one way and drove up there Monday. When the doctors tried to talk to him Monday morning they were unable to get information. Apparently his brain was no longer creating memories. Barb and Lee began their journey up. Mike planned for coming up on Tuesday. Tuesday around noon Dianne and Ted took Dave off the ventilator since there was no hope they could bring him back. About 20 minutes later he was pronounced dead. The service will be at 11am Friday with Pat officiating. Visitation I believe is family only right before. As of 9 pm last night(Wednesday the 27th) Pat and I were the only cousins that knew. Mike and Darlene didn't want their teenagers to find out when they didn't have an adult with them especially since their daughter had had some emotional trauma late last week. They didn't arrive home until almost 9 last night and the kids were at youth group until a little later. Rachel is on a mission trip and so far they've been unable to reach her. No one is really handling it well. Dianne is going nuts and last night started changing up the service into a 3 ring circus. Pat's currently at work. He needed to go. But we are heading back up tonight(Thursday 28th) or maybe in a couple hours. He'll be calling north in about an hour and if his dad hasn't been able to reign her in a little we'll be going North early to take things in hand. Well that was the plan , but there was a disaster at work and he ended up working a full day. Then we made the 4 hour drive, had a very late supper and discovered we'd forgotten to pack Pat's dress shoes. Finding someplace open at 9:30 was a challenge but we managed to catch a Target next town over that didn't close until 10. When we got back to the hotel I prepped our clothes for the morning and repacked everything except our toiletries and allergy meds for the morning.
Friday morning at 4am we awoke to the fire alarm going off. Bleary eyed we put on shoes, grabbed the bags and our dress clothes leaving toiletries, meds and stuff in the fridge as we at this point could hear the police pounding on doors yelling fire get out of the building. About half an hour later we'd been checked in to the hotel next door and I left Pat to try to sleep while I went out to get more info and frankly I was getting some pictures if my sleep was going to be disturbed. They aren't great pictures because I couldn't use flash and I was slightly shaky but I got some pictures. I learned everyone safely escaped the hotel, this was the second disaster at this hotel in the last year, and that the hotel owner was ready to give up. Originally they thought it was an electrical fire and they were checking to be sure everyone was out and accounted for. It was determined to not be electrical and everyone was out so they started spraying and quickly gained control. I took a shower and went back to bed for a brief time. We got up, got dressed, and Pat went to see if he could get our toiletries and meds since the fire didn't reach our room. He was able to get our stuff and it was all still good...well he didn't get the stuff from the fridge but that's ok. Our new hotel didn't have breakfast so we tried to grab a quick bite, were delayed by a rush at the restaurant delaying our getting our check and ended up not getting to the Funeral home until about 9:45 when visitation started at 9:30 and we'd been expected a few minutes early. It took them awhile to understand we weren't joking our hotel really had been on fire this morning which set us back a bit. The funeral went really well. Everyone thought Pat gave a great message. After we got back to Aunt Dianne's, Pat called to thank our Pastor Jim for all the help and advice that was what made his talk a success. He found out pastor Jim was in emergency heart surgery. The double bypass went well we discovered when we arrived home. But we were very jittery all day on the 30th waiting for one more crazy bad thing to happen just to top the week off right.
The following Tuesday the 2nd Teneil Pat's second childhood cat was put down. His parents then went to Florida to be there when her Mom had gall bladder surgery. Apparently the 9th Great Aunt Kay (sister to grandma who just had gall bladder surgery) died as well. Tuesday was not a good day for a few weeks.
Aug 7, 14, and 21 we attended a friend's church. Week one our friend preached, week 2 Pat did and the third week the 2 fielded questions and led discussion. It was very interesting. Aug 13 Pat took his Cousin Matthew out to see Fermi in an unofficial tour as he's currently at college studying Physics. After that we got to have a great gaming time with Frank and Renae for the first time in forever:)
On the 19th I had breakfast with one of the female deacons and she explained that we'd be on the docket for joining the church once Pastor Jim was up to doing the little ceremony thing. I was supposed to also help some folks pack but didn't happen. The next day however I did help them move. crazy crazy.
On the 27th we learned there was a youth lockin on Sept 16-17 and we were in charge of putting together the photo scavenger hunt for it. We had a ton of fun putting it together:)
Now we're up to Sept. On the 3rd we had supper with the parents. On the 4th lunch with the folks we helped paint and then move. The 10th began our 7 week stretch of being gone every weekend 5 wedding related things and 2 homecomings. The first was an after wedding party at a forest preserve with canoeing down in Bloomington area. While in the area we went to see my Aunt who was in the hospital. 3 hours after we left they mandated masks for people entering and leaving the room. And the next day they took her off the antibiotics and said she no longer had an infection the bacteria had colonized. GAH!
But this past weekend was truly epic. Pat was sick both Thursday and Friday...but after sleeping until noon he was feeling normal again Friday. So he got errands run for the weekend while I got the last few things tied up at home. For the photo scavenger hunt we'd created 12 teams. Each team had a prompt sheet with things mostly different from every other team. Each team also had a garbage bag full of props that HAD to be in each picture. One group had 12 tiaras, a princess center piece, and fairy wands that had glow sticks as handles; another team had grass skirts, lais and a giant cardboard jointed flamingo. You get the idea. From 8:15-10:15pm the teams ran around town (adult drivers taking the kids where they wanted to go) taking pictures of their teams doing ridiculous stuff in costume...and getting strangers to help. Pat finally finished grading and got all the scores into a little power point for presenting at 1:56AM. About 2:15 we presented the winners and then packed up and came home. We arrived home around 3:30.
Around noon we headed out again. This time to a wedding in Galesburg. The wedding started at 4. Around 6:30 we got to eat at the reception. Around 7:30 we headed back home and promptly crashed. Sunday morning we arrived at the church a little before 8 because I was doing the lyrics and lighting and practice starts at 8. After practice, life group and the service at the end of which we were voted into membership we came home and lazed about the rest of the night catching up on rest.
Today I took Pat to work so that I could get the tires rotated and also baked banana bread. I have something to mail today as well. I should probably get busy.