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in response to comment in last journal entry-->I guess this is your way of telling me that you made out with him..because i guess it was to hard for you to do to my face..well again i'm hurt by something you didn't tell me even tho i said i would never come to this site again you knew i would so thats most likly why you post your last entry..it dind't hurt as much as i thought it would, what hurt is knowing you lied to my face again.....remember the day we went to the mall with clayton and we seen ryan there...you told me and clayton in the car you said you seen him as an older borther..and i know i asked you if you liked him three or for times after that if you liked him and you told me NO thats what hurt. I talk to clayton to see if maybe i got the dates wrong mybe you didn't like him them but clayton remembers you talking about ryan and how he let you drive his car isn't that the night it happened...freinds can't look someone in the eye and lye...but i hope you the best with him..Still Freinds I just really need to talk to you....i'm not mad right know just hurt...... maybe i don't remember correct... one last thing you told me you didn't know if you where doing the right thing because you don't know if we are meant for each other...time well tell if something is meant to be it well be.
sean well first of all i would never try and shove something in ur face like that or tell u like i... i would have told u when i thought u were ready and i was ready to tell u but of course u like to read this ... and im kinda ok with it now..but i would never purposly hurt you sean i love u...maybe not the same way u love me but dont think of me badly for that please..like i said i have yet to figure it out for myself....and ur right i dont know if im doing the right thing and thats what scarres me the most ...losing u forever..sean it's been hell with out u the past like 2 weeks and i can't imagine us not even talking...what i wrote was not to be thrown in ur face or anything or tell u like that u forget this is my journal..i write down my feelings here and my thoughts...i still care about u and always will no matter what u do to me or how much u try to hurt me like u did...i still care and im willing to fight for u i dont care what my mother has to say...taht must mean something to u.........
TODAY= ehhhhh omg was it long arrggg i wanted to just walk out...but im not that kinda person heh wait who am i kiding yeah i am i just dont want to be without a job. i bought a new camera! YAY!! heh im soo happy now i can photograph some more and catch up on my art work blah i've been feeling soo depressed latley like im not doing anything in my life but screwing others up....i just can't wait till college..it's gonna be tough but it'll be better than stupid baldwin(LOL) i can't believe im goning to grad from there yuck! well any who i really hope ryan gets all this crap taken care of in his car..im starting to miss him lots all we do is talk on here or on the phone...i've been reading this book and it's great (i hate reading)blah well anyway see ya tommorro if i dont pass out at work from being soo damn tired... OOOOOOO i rented interview with the vampire yay my fave movie im going to watch it now!!!
sean well first of all i would never try and shove something in ur face like that or tell u like i... i would have told u when i thought u were ready and i was ready to tell u but of course u like to read this ... and im kinda ok with it now..but i would never purposly hurt you sean i love u...maybe not the same way u love me but dont think of me badly for that please..like i said i have yet to figure it out for myself....and ur right i dont know if im doing the right thing and thats what scarres me the most ...losing u forever..sean it's been hell with out u the past like 2 weeks and i can't imagine us not even talking...what i wrote was not to be thrown in ur face or anything or tell u like that u forget this is my journal..i write down my feelings here and my thoughts...i still care about u and always will no matter what u do to me or how much u try to hurt me like u did...i still care and im willing to fight for u i dont care what my mother has to say...taht must mean something to u.........
TODAY= ehhhhh omg was it long arrggg i wanted to just walk out...but im not that kinda person heh wait who am i kiding yeah i am i just dont want to be without a job. i bought a new camera! YAY!! heh im soo happy now i can photograph some more and catch up on my art work blah i've been feeling soo depressed latley like im not doing anything in my life but screwing others up....i just can't wait till college..it's gonna be tough but it'll be better than stupid baldwin(LOL) i can't believe im goning to grad from there yuck! well any who i really hope ryan gets all this crap taken care of in his car..im starting to miss him lots all we do is talk on here or on the phone...i've been reading this book and it's great (i hate reading)blah well anyway see ya tommorro if i dont pass out at work from being soo damn tired... OOOOOOO i rented interview with the vampire yay my fave movie im going to watch it now!!!