(no subject)
Enzo sits on his bunk in the empty dorm room, staring at and through his Chemistry TXT.
It's not just the studying thing. He knows the material, he's... almost certain. It's the way his insides feel tied up in knots, and his thoughts are going nowhere at a million pixels a nanosecond. It's the way he'll sometimes think about her and feel wonderful, or just maybe scrape together enough of his brain to do some work for a while, and then it all crashes. It's the way he wouldn't feel so bad, except that he feels bad about feeling bad, and then he ends up feeling bad about that.
The room is wonderfully cool from the fans Hugh deployed to aid in his own studies. For him, love (or at least hormones) is providing a most effective inspiration, and he seems to be making up for all his earlier slacking in one frenzied burst.
The cold should focus Enzo's thoughts, but it just makes them whirl faster.
His emotions are totally out of his control.
He wonders if this is what Hex feels like.
His gaze turns to the mask on the wall. When she gave it to him, she said it was one of her own faces. Its expression is one of total serenity. Clearly, it wasn't one she was using much in the first place.
Its surface is porcelain-smooth under his fingers.
If he were Hex, he could just change his face (the room vanishes, then reappears as the eyeholes line up) and just like that, he'd
calm down
and then he could put all those other troublesome emotions aside for the time being, like so.
Funny how playing make-believe can help take your mind off things. You can almost fool yourself, sometimes. He doesn't feel nearly as wretched as he did a moment ago.
That's nice.
He should probably get some work done while it lasts.
* * * * * *
"Enzo?" says a voice from the doorway behind him.
"Hi, Caret," he tells his roommate without turning around. He's on a roll with this review session.
"Hi. You missed dinner."
"I did?" Oh, yes. He is very hungry. He should probably do something about that sometime soon. He scrolls to the next page.
"Uh-huh. Have you been here all afternoon?"
"Yeah. I've been studying."
"Does that mean you're feeling better?"
"I think so."
"Good. We were worried. Why is your mask gone?" Caret always notices details.
"It's not. I've got it." He pulls it off his face and holds it up so Caret can see it and he won't have to stop... stop... have to...
Dani where are you I'm such a mess code I'm so selfish you handled it so much better you're amazing I'm the luckiest sprite in the 'Net so why do I feel so rotten
"Enzo?" Caret rushes forward in alarm as the younger boy almost topples off his bunk. "Are you all right?"
"I'm... I'm fine," Enzo manages, dropping the mask. "Just a little dizzy. Maybe I've been sitting here too long. Yeah, that's it."
"You should access some food," Caret tells him sternly. "The cafeteria's closed file, but I have some cookies if you need them."
"Good idea," Enzo says, grateful for the cover. "I mean, just one. Thanks, Caret."
As he backs down the bunk ladder, he stares at the mask in consternation.
At least now he has something new to think about.
It's not just the studying thing. He knows the material, he's... almost certain. It's the way his insides feel tied up in knots, and his thoughts are going nowhere at a million pixels a nanosecond. It's the way he'll sometimes think about her and feel wonderful, or just maybe scrape together enough of his brain to do some work for a while, and then it all crashes. It's the way he wouldn't feel so bad, except that he feels bad about feeling bad, and then he ends up feeling bad about that.
The room is wonderfully cool from the fans Hugh deployed to aid in his own studies. For him, love (or at least hormones) is providing a most effective inspiration, and he seems to be making up for all his earlier slacking in one frenzied burst.
The cold should focus Enzo's thoughts, but it just makes them whirl faster.
His emotions are totally out of his control.
He wonders if this is what Hex feels like.
His gaze turns to the mask on the wall. When she gave it to him, she said it was one of her own faces. Its expression is one of total serenity. Clearly, it wasn't one she was using much in the first place.
Its surface is porcelain-smooth under his fingers.
If he were Hex, he could just change his face (the room vanishes, then reappears as the eyeholes line up) and just like that, he'd
calm down
and then he could put all those other troublesome emotions aside for the time being, like so.
Funny how playing make-believe can help take your mind off things. You can almost fool yourself, sometimes. He doesn't feel nearly as wretched as he did a moment ago.
That's nice.
He should probably get some work done while it lasts.
* * * * * *
"Enzo?" says a voice from the doorway behind him.
"Hi, Caret," he tells his roommate without turning around. He's on a roll with this review session.
"Hi. You missed dinner."
"I did?" Oh, yes. He is very hungry. He should probably do something about that sometime soon. He scrolls to the next page.
"Uh-huh. Have you been here all afternoon?"
"Yeah. I've been studying."
"Does that mean you're feeling better?"
"I think so."
"Good. We were worried. Why is your mask gone?" Caret always notices details.
"It's not. I've got it." He pulls it off his face and holds it up so Caret can see it and he won't have to stop... stop... have to...
Dani where are you I'm such a mess code I'm so selfish you handled it so much better you're amazing I'm the luckiest sprite in the 'Net so why do I feel so rotten
"Enzo?" Caret rushes forward in alarm as the younger boy almost topples off his bunk. "Are you all right?"
"I'm... I'm fine," Enzo manages, dropping the mask. "Just a little dizzy. Maybe I've been sitting here too long. Yeah, that's it."
"You should access some food," Caret tells him sternly. "The cafeteria's closed file, but I have some cookies if you need them."
"Good idea," Enzo says, grateful for the cover. "I mean, just one. Thanks, Caret."
As he backs down the bunk ladder, he stares at the mask in consternation.
At least now he has something new to think about.