The Break Down
I had this boy the other night ask me why I put up such a hard front...well I can't anymore...I am done...here is what's going on... here is how to get to know me...I wanted to call...but it's not in my nature. So because I walked out of my house in tears and refuse to call anyone for comfort I will write it all down and hope you don't run...
While driving home:
I start to remember where I am going and what I am really coming back too.
My Step parents are now getting divorced. I haven't talked to my step-mom in weeks. My Step-dad is heart broken over the fact that he spent New Years alone and when I got home told me that he didn't know what the house would be like when I left for school next year.
When I get home:
I find the medical bill... the one from the last visit to the doctors. $500 not much but enough when added to the $20,000 I already owe. And my meds are in, that is another $200...I can tell you it's only a matter of time till I get sick again...it's been awhile...
Me and my brother started at it. He has Tourette's and can't control his mouth nor his temper and is being kicked out of school as well as failing. He wont do his homework and my Step-dad just can't do it on his own while my Step-mom is to busy playing with rocks and I know she has been smoking them!
And so once again we go back and forth me and Kendal just like always...until he hits me... right in my jaw...it hurt...there will be a nice mark...but i don't go down without a fight. The hell if I am going to let some little 13yr old boy punch me and get away with it.
I picked up a book off the table (turns out to be his math book) a pop him right in his head! My Step-dad is yelling as he comes up the stairs and sure enough Kendal starts in on his whole I hate you speech.
I know you know the one! The one you all gave your parents when you were young!
"I hate you! You aren't my real parents! Fuck you! F this F that! Fuck you Lind.Z Eat a dick!" This goes on and on! Now where this kid got his mouth I have no idea because if I ever came anywhere close to saying all the shit that Kendal say's I was and would have slapped outside my head.
SO I walk out...what else was there to do? I couldn't do it...couldn't be the bad one anymore...I couldn't do the yelling...and as kept walking onto the golf course I just wanted to go back to yesterday and lay in bed all day long...
I wish there was a day where we could do nothing...
I can only wait for the day where we don't have to do anything...all day long...
While driving home:
I start to remember where I am going and what I am really coming back too.
My Step parents are now getting divorced. I haven't talked to my step-mom in weeks. My Step-dad is heart broken over the fact that he spent New Years alone and when I got home told me that he didn't know what the house would be like when I left for school next year.
When I get home:
I find the medical bill... the one from the last visit to the doctors. $500 not much but enough when added to the $20,000 I already owe. And my meds are in, that is another $200...I can tell you it's only a matter of time till I get sick again...it's been awhile...
Me and my brother started at it. He has Tourette's and can't control his mouth nor his temper and is being kicked out of school as well as failing. He wont do his homework and my Step-dad just can't do it on his own while my Step-mom is to busy playing with rocks and I know she has been smoking them!
And so once again we go back and forth me and Kendal just like always...until he hits me... right in my jaw...it hurt...there will be a nice mark...but i don't go down without a fight. The hell if I am going to let some little 13yr old boy punch me and get away with it.
I picked up a book off the table (turns out to be his math book) a pop him right in his head! My Step-dad is yelling as he comes up the stairs and sure enough Kendal starts in on his whole I hate you speech.
I know you know the one! The one you all gave your parents when you were young!
"I hate you! You aren't my real parents! Fuck you! F this F that! Fuck you Lind.Z Eat a dick!" This goes on and on! Now where this kid got his mouth I have no idea because if I ever came anywhere close to saying all the shit that Kendal say's I was and would have slapped outside my head.
SO I walk out...what else was there to do? I couldn't do it...couldn't be the bad one anymore...I couldn't do the yelling...and as kept walking onto the golf course I just wanted to go back to yesterday and lay in bed all day long...
I wish there was a day where we could do nothing...
I can only wait for the day where we don't have to do anything...all day long...