Not working, obviously
We've come to the end. Since there's an air quality alert and the sky actively looks yellow, I'll stay home instead of walking Alfie. So now, I'll subject everyone to the end of Till the End of the Moon. Sorry.
Eps 31 - 33
There is so much exposition to tell us who these immortal sect people are and why all the same people from 500 years ago are now here in the alt-present.
Even schemey Jealous Third Wheel. Except now she's an umbrella (not a euphemism)...or she has always been an umbrella? I'm not sure.
There is a Chinese Hogwarts storyline with all those different immortal sects and their disciples. There is even a jerky disciple. How do people reach this level of immortality/cultivation by being such low-level jerks!?
These are the jerks.
On the evil people side, there are Two Overacting Henchpeople here to reactivate the Devil God's three artifacts, find the Evil Bone, find the fetus of the Devil God, and wake up the Devil God. There sure are a lot of steps to this...but I guess that's fine. It's better than some world-ending event that only requires one oopsies and it's the end of the world as we know it.
Various Devil God plotting happens and I don't feel like describing all the how's and why's. Basically:
1. Tantai Jin is now considered good and Susu and a few people know about his former baby Devil God status. But they all decide it's better not to tell anyone else in the immortal sects about that because what could ever go wrong with keeping deep dark secrets?
2. Susu has the Evil Bone inside of her (hehe!) and can't get it out. But she also decides it's better not to tell anyone else about that because how terrible can a thing called "The Evil Bone" be?
3. This Orange Guy shows up and he is the Devil God's former henchman and Susu's actual father (I won't explain the magic shenanigan that caused it) and everyone in Susu's sect believes he is a good guy now but decides not to tell the other immortal sects about that because they don't want to bother explaining his back story.
4. Overacting Henchpeople chew scenery and...well, I can't even say sow discord. Discord happens because Tantai Jin, Susu, and their immortal sect and their various lies and secrets sow discord all on their own.
Oh, and in the middle of all that, Susu breaks up with Tantai Jin (not that they were a couple at that point). But I'm sure they will get back together at some point. Maybe play hide the Evil Bone together.
Eps 34 - 35
Well, of course things go to shit for Tantai Jin. That's the theme of this drama: Tantai Jin is misunderstood by the world and tortured for it.
Various immortal sects find out that Tantai Jin was the baby Devil God, is probably this Devil God fetus the Two Overacting Henchpeople are looking for, and that he (potentially) has an Evil Bone inside of him plus one of the Devil God's artifacts. So the immortal sects chain him up and question him. This scene is so painful, not because of the Tantai Jin torture, but because the background character dubbing and dialogue is so painfully bad.
It's the standard "people are sheep" and will band together to falsely accuse someone trope and everyone stands around while watching someone get tortured and killed. That's fine, when those people are regular mortal idiots. This happens a lot in wuxia plot and I'm okay with it. But these people are in the immortal sects...well, I guess cultivation means shit in this world and any idiot can cultivate to become an immortal and they'll still act like normal, unenlightened bozos.
Over the course of 10+ minutes, these immortal cultivators go from "but he can't be evil because he's in the immortal sect" to "but this red-robed guy accused him so it can't be fake" and back and forth all with very little evidence to support either argument.
Orange Guy shows up to impart the knowledge that, of course Tantai Jin is evil! The Devil God was the fanfic writer that plotted Tantai Jin's entire miserable life because he likes hurt/no comfort stories. He really is the devil.
"FML"
Orange Guy rehashes all the bad things that's ever happened to Tantai Jin and how they are all planned by the Devil God. That's probably one of the few times I feel bad for Tantai Jin...to learn that you are the main character in a bad fanfic...tsk, tsk.
Conveniently, Susu, who was in a coma throughout all of this, manages to show up in time to explain everything. And also conveniently, there's some magical artifact that replays people's memories. It's odd in this story how there's always some convenient magical artifact to explain things when the characters are too stupid/lazy to do so themselves.
As revenge for torturing her on/off-boyfriend, Tantai Jin, Susu tortures these immortal sects by making them watch her memories (ie, the entire drama). Wow, dang, that's evil. No wonder this mob of immortals are angry. They were first subjected to a re-telling of the Devil God's bad fanfic and then had to watch the entire drama up until this point.
Susu convinces the mob leaders to use their magical powers to confirm that the Evil Bone is not inside of Tantai Jin. So...they have the ability to just do that, but spent the last two episodes arguing back and forth about whether Tantai Jin has the Evil Bone hidden inside of him (hehe!). Then I think that angry mob of immortals gave up...probably like I should have 34 episodes ago. In any event! Susu and Tantai Jin make up and now they're going to get married. They're most definitely going to go play hide the bone (Evil or otherwise) now!
Eps 36 - 37
Before the wedding, Susu's two dads are going to try and take the Evil Bone out of her (presumably so that Tantai Jin can insert some other bone! - Lol, I have to cope with watching this drama by being as dirty-minded as possible). At this point, I give up on plot consistency altogether. I thought the Evil Bone can't just be removed? But whatever.
Formerly evil Orange Guy turns out to be still currently evil and kills Susu's dad and runs off with the Evil Bone so that he can suck on it. Really.
Meanwhile, Loyal Face Tattoo Guy (yes, he also lived past this 500 years) kidnaps Tantai Jin for the Two Overacting Henchpeople. Why? He's loyal to Tantai Jin but so very stupid. They bring him to the Devil God's house so the Devil God can convince him to...I don't even know. Why do they need Tantai Jin's consent for anything? Aren't they evil? So we have to sit through the Devil God espousing his great plan for neutrality.
For some reason, I expected something more exciting. I suppose I'm the stupid one.
Since Susu's dad died, Susu is unconscious (again!), and Tantai Jin is conveniently missing, everyone assumes Tantai Jin did it (whatever "it" is). The immortal sects amass their angry mob and go off to find Tantai Jin in the Barren Abyss. Cool name, by the way.
Meanwhile, Tantai Jin activates this suicide array that can kill all demons if he sacrifices his own life.
That's very powerful and all...which, by the way, why is Tantai Jin so powerful? I think even Tantai Jin-God of War couldn't kill all demons and he's a god? And none of the other immortals could have done this in order to save the entire world? Anyhoo, at the last moment, Tantai Jin-God of War shows up in a vision to stop Tantai Jin from sacrificing his own life so that we can continue with three more episodes of this drama.
There's a very boring portion where Orange Guy sucks in the Evil Bone (haha!) and is now under the control of the Devil God. So any rando with an Evil Bone inside of him is enough to revive the Devil God? Why did the Devil God try so hard to entice Tantai Jin, then? Orange Guy-Devil God needs more energy so he goes around sucking off his Two Overacting Henchpeople. That's just bad management, man. Now he probably needs to promote two other henchpeople from within or hire new henchpeople. So much time is spent on the death of the Two Overacting Henchpeople. Why should the audience care about their deaths? They've been nothing but evil throughout this drama! They didn't create nearly enough backstory for them for the audience to give a fuck. Although reading comments on YouTube, people cared about them? Aiyo.
Tantai Jin decides that the only way to defeat Orange Guy-Devil God now is by the combined forces of the immortal sects. Dude, can he just activate the suicide array again? He alerts the immortal sects and that's essentially activating some sort of suicide since the immortal sects are angry with him (still) and sends punishing death rays his way.
Gosh, this episode is an hour long!?!
Eps 38 - 40
Lazy writing/poor editing abounds. A lot of plot things happen and most of it takes place as a character having a revelation about something and explaining it to the audience in an internal monologue. Orange Guy-Devil God activates a world-ending array but just killing him wasn't enough to stop the array. So the revelation is that only the Devil God can stop the array and Tantai Jin is the only person that can become the Devil God.
Tantai Jin's sifu imparts this revelation to Tantai Jin just as he was about to become demonic and implores Tantai Jin to mercy-kill him so he doesn't become a demon. Despite knowing the Immortal Angry Mob out there is already angry with Tantai Jin, his Sifu does nothing to resolve this misunderstanding. What about leaving a note? A convenient magical artifact to explain everything? Nope! He makes Tantai Jin mercy-kill him and of course, the Immortal Angry Mob witnesses it and further believes Tantai Jin is evil.
Y'know, for someone like his Sifu, that's revealed to know all about Tantai Jin's origins ever since he found him and took him as his disciple...you would think there would be time to plan for and prevent this eventuality. But nope, they let things go until the very end and then there's no time to explain anything.
In order to save the world, Tantai Jin becomes the Devil God. Where did all these minor demon minions come from? Wasn't there a suicide array a few episodes ago that killed most of them? Then didn't Orange Guy-Devil God suck off a bunch of them? How are there still so many demon minions left?
But here comes Susu, demanding an explanation from him. Now's the chance for him to explain that he's really trying to end the Devil God's array, right? Nope! He breaks her heart "for her own good" because he loves being misunderstood and tortured! Well, of course breaking her heart is easier than telling her the truth, duh! (And conveniently, all the demon minions disappeared from the background during the ensuing "dramatic" scene. They really know when to scram to give these people privacy.)
There's going to be another wedding! This time, it's Tantai Jin's plan to make Susu hate him (again) so that she will kill him because (I think) she's the only person left that can kill him(?). But before the wedding, Tantai Jin shows her his vision he made up of Ye Xiwu's family in happier times. I'm not sure what that's supposed to accomplish? Susu only transmigrated into Ye Xiwu's body? I can't imagine she's that attached to the entire Ye family. Then they have sex. I don't understand anything about this relationship. I thought she hates him right now? I thought he wants her to hate him? It's not even angry aggressive sex. The sex was so tame that only one lock of her hair was out of place the next morning.
I like the imagery for their (hopefully final) wedding. So goth. At the same time, so tantric.
The final battle is so random and confusing.
Why is Tantai Jin making Susu suffer 81 bolts of lightening. Just to make her hate him? I thought she already hates him? Maybe they shouldn't have had that tame sex last episode. Or was the tame sex part of the hatred plan?
Less Stupid Brother also survived this 500 years and is now the emperor of Jin? And he has magic? That's random.
Tantai Jin can make someone un-demonic, just like that? Why didn't he do that for his sifu instead of resorting to mercy-killing?
Has these destructive fireballs been raining down on humanity the whole time this Devil God array has been open (several episodes ago)?
Someone ought to try and fight this burning fire instead.
I guess the point is that Tantai Jin tries to save everyone while making everyone think he's evil. Susu becomes a goddess and now knows all because godhood (hi, Jabba, I understand why you're a know-it-all now). But instead of being annoyed that Tantai Jin tired to "save her from pain", she told him that his stupid plan was what made her reach Nirvana and become a goddess. No, don't reward this stupid behavior!
I do like her goddess costume, though. It's very original Buddhist iconography.
So...she kills his ass to save the world. Then there's a confusing epilogue where Susu returns to the royal tomb in the kingdom of Jin and sees hers and Tantai Jin's tombstones. There's a flashback to show Tantai Jin coming back to carve his own tombstone in case one can't tell where his tombstone came from. I'm not sure why Susu would be so surprised by these tombstones. I thought everything have been revealed to her once she became a goddess? She knows all?
Oh wait, that's not the end yet? Another 500 years pass. Oh, now Susu has a kid.
Probably from that one night of sex. That's the time to use their confusing sperm penetrating egg CGI and they missed the chance.
Fixed it for you. You're welcome.
Part one of kill baby kill
Part two of kill baby kill
Part three of kill baby kill
Eps 31 - 33
There is so much exposition to tell us who these immortal sect people are and why all the same people from 500 years ago are now here in the alt-present.
Even schemey Jealous Third Wheel. Except now she's an umbrella (not a euphemism)...or she has always been an umbrella? I'm not sure.
There is a Chinese Hogwarts storyline with all those different immortal sects and their disciples. There is even a jerky disciple. How do people reach this level of immortality/cultivation by being such low-level jerks!?
These are the jerks.
On the evil people side, there are Two Overacting Henchpeople here to reactivate the Devil God's three artifacts, find the Evil Bone, find the fetus of the Devil God, and wake up the Devil God. There sure are a lot of steps to this...but I guess that's fine. It's better than some world-ending event that only requires one oopsies and it's the end of the world as we know it.
Various Devil God plotting happens and I don't feel like describing all the how's and why's. Basically:
1. Tantai Jin is now considered good and Susu and a few people know about his former baby Devil God status. But they all decide it's better not to tell anyone else in the immortal sects about that because what could ever go wrong with keeping deep dark secrets?
2. Susu has the Evil Bone inside of her (hehe!) and can't get it out. But she also decides it's better not to tell anyone else about that because how terrible can a thing called "The Evil Bone" be?
3. This Orange Guy shows up and he is the Devil God's former henchman and Susu's actual father (I won't explain the magic shenanigan that caused it) and everyone in Susu's sect believes he is a good guy now but decides not to tell the other immortal sects about that because they don't want to bother explaining his back story.
4. Overacting Henchpeople chew scenery and...well, I can't even say sow discord. Discord happens because Tantai Jin, Susu, and their immortal sect and their various lies and secrets sow discord all on their own.
Oh, and in the middle of all that, Susu breaks up with Tantai Jin (not that they were a couple at that point). But I'm sure they will get back together at some point. Maybe play hide the Evil Bone together.
Eps 34 - 35
Well, of course things go to shit for Tantai Jin. That's the theme of this drama: Tantai Jin is misunderstood by the world and tortured for it.
Various immortal sects find out that Tantai Jin was the baby Devil God, is probably this Devil God fetus the Two Overacting Henchpeople are looking for, and that he (potentially) has an Evil Bone inside of him plus one of the Devil God's artifacts. So the immortal sects chain him up and question him. This scene is so painful, not because of the Tantai Jin torture, but because the background character dubbing and dialogue is so painfully bad.
It's the standard "people are sheep" and will band together to falsely accuse someone trope and everyone stands around while watching someone get tortured and killed. That's fine, when those people are regular mortal idiots. This happens a lot in wuxia plot and I'm okay with it. But these people are in the immortal sects...well, I guess cultivation means shit in this world and any idiot can cultivate to become an immortal and they'll still act like normal, unenlightened bozos.
Over the course of 10+ minutes, these immortal cultivators go from "but he can't be evil because he's in the immortal sect" to "but this red-robed guy accused him so it can't be fake" and back and forth all with very little evidence to support either argument.
Orange Guy shows up to impart the knowledge that, of course Tantai Jin is evil! The Devil God was the fanfic writer that plotted Tantai Jin's entire miserable life because he likes hurt/no comfort stories. He really is the devil.
"FML"
Orange Guy rehashes all the bad things that's ever happened to Tantai Jin and how they are all planned by the Devil God. That's probably one of the few times I feel bad for Tantai Jin...to learn that you are the main character in a bad fanfic...tsk, tsk.
Conveniently, Susu, who was in a coma throughout all of this, manages to show up in time to explain everything. And also conveniently, there's some magical artifact that replays people's memories. It's odd in this story how there's always some convenient magical artifact to explain things when the characters are too stupid/lazy to do so themselves.
As revenge for torturing her on/off-boyfriend, Tantai Jin, Susu tortures these immortal sects by making them watch her memories (ie, the entire drama). Wow, dang, that's evil. No wonder this mob of immortals are angry. They were first subjected to a re-telling of the Devil God's bad fanfic and then had to watch the entire drama up until this point.
Susu convinces the mob leaders to use their magical powers to confirm that the Evil Bone is not inside of Tantai Jin. So...they have the ability to just do that, but spent the last two episodes arguing back and forth about whether Tantai Jin has the Evil Bone hidden inside of him (hehe!). Then I think that angry mob of immortals gave up...probably like I should have 34 episodes ago. In any event! Susu and Tantai Jin make up and now they're going to get married. They're most definitely going to go play hide the bone (Evil or otherwise) now!
Eps 36 - 37
Before the wedding, Susu's two dads are going to try and take the Evil Bone out of her (presumably so that Tantai Jin can insert some other bone! - Lol, I have to cope with watching this drama by being as dirty-minded as possible). At this point, I give up on plot consistency altogether. I thought the Evil Bone can't just be removed? But whatever.
Formerly evil Orange Guy turns out to be still currently evil and kills Susu's dad and runs off with the Evil Bone so that he can suck on it. Really.
Meanwhile, Loyal Face Tattoo Guy (yes, he also lived past this 500 years) kidnaps Tantai Jin for the Two Overacting Henchpeople. Why? He's loyal to Tantai Jin but so very stupid. They bring him to the Devil God's house so the Devil God can convince him to...I don't even know. Why do they need Tantai Jin's consent for anything? Aren't they evil? So we have to sit through the Devil God espousing his great plan for neutrality.
For some reason, I expected something more exciting. I suppose I'm the stupid one.
Since Susu's dad died, Susu is unconscious (again!), and Tantai Jin is conveniently missing, everyone assumes Tantai Jin did it (whatever "it" is). The immortal sects amass their angry mob and go off to find Tantai Jin in the Barren Abyss. Cool name, by the way.
Meanwhile, Tantai Jin activates this suicide array that can kill all demons if he sacrifices his own life.
That's very powerful and all...which, by the way, why is Tantai Jin so powerful? I think even Tantai Jin-God of War couldn't kill all demons and he's a god? And none of the other immortals could have done this in order to save the entire world? Anyhoo, at the last moment, Tantai Jin-God of War shows up in a vision to stop Tantai Jin from sacrificing his own life so that we can continue with three more episodes of this drama.
There's a very boring portion where Orange Guy sucks in the Evil Bone (haha!) and is now under the control of the Devil God. So any rando with an Evil Bone inside of him is enough to revive the Devil God? Why did the Devil God try so hard to entice Tantai Jin, then? Orange Guy-Devil God needs more energy so he goes around sucking off his Two Overacting Henchpeople. That's just bad management, man. Now he probably needs to promote two other henchpeople from within or hire new henchpeople. So much time is spent on the death of the Two Overacting Henchpeople. Why should the audience care about their deaths? They've been nothing but evil throughout this drama! They didn't create nearly enough backstory for them for the audience to give a fuck. Although reading comments on YouTube, people cared about them? Aiyo.
Tantai Jin decides that the only way to defeat Orange Guy-Devil God now is by the combined forces of the immortal sects. Dude, can he just activate the suicide array again? He alerts the immortal sects and that's essentially activating some sort of suicide since the immortal sects are angry with him (still) and sends punishing death rays his way.
Gosh, this episode is an hour long!?!
Eps 38 - 40
Lazy writing/poor editing abounds. A lot of plot things happen and most of it takes place as a character having a revelation about something and explaining it to the audience in an internal monologue. Orange Guy-Devil God activates a world-ending array but just killing him wasn't enough to stop the array. So the revelation is that only the Devil God can stop the array and Tantai Jin is the only person that can become the Devil God.
Tantai Jin's sifu imparts this revelation to Tantai Jin just as he was about to become demonic and implores Tantai Jin to mercy-kill him so he doesn't become a demon. Despite knowing the Immortal Angry Mob out there is already angry with Tantai Jin, his Sifu does nothing to resolve this misunderstanding. What about leaving a note? A convenient magical artifact to explain everything? Nope! He makes Tantai Jin mercy-kill him and of course, the Immortal Angry Mob witnesses it and further believes Tantai Jin is evil.
Y'know, for someone like his Sifu, that's revealed to know all about Tantai Jin's origins ever since he found him and took him as his disciple...you would think there would be time to plan for and prevent this eventuality. But nope, they let things go until the very end and then there's no time to explain anything.
In order to save the world, Tantai Jin becomes the Devil God. Where did all these minor demon minions come from? Wasn't there a suicide array a few episodes ago that killed most of them? Then didn't Orange Guy-Devil God suck off a bunch of them? How are there still so many demon minions left?
But here comes Susu, demanding an explanation from him. Now's the chance for him to explain that he's really trying to end the Devil God's array, right? Nope! He breaks her heart "for her own good" because he loves being misunderstood and tortured! Well, of course breaking her heart is easier than telling her the truth, duh! (And conveniently, all the demon minions disappeared from the background during the ensuing "dramatic" scene. They really know when to scram to give these people privacy.)
There's going to be another wedding! This time, it's Tantai Jin's plan to make Susu hate him (again) so that she will kill him because (I think) she's the only person left that can kill him(?). But before the wedding, Tantai Jin shows her his vision he made up of Ye Xiwu's family in happier times. I'm not sure what that's supposed to accomplish? Susu only transmigrated into Ye Xiwu's body? I can't imagine she's that attached to the entire Ye family. Then they have sex. I don't understand anything about this relationship. I thought she hates him right now? I thought he wants her to hate him? It's not even angry aggressive sex. The sex was so tame that only one lock of her hair was out of place the next morning.
I like the imagery for their (hopefully final) wedding. So goth. At the same time, so tantric.
The final battle is so random and confusing.
Why is Tantai Jin making Susu suffer 81 bolts of lightening. Just to make her hate him? I thought she already hates him? Maybe they shouldn't have had that tame sex last episode. Or was the tame sex part of the hatred plan?
Less Stupid Brother also survived this 500 years and is now the emperor of Jin? And he has magic? That's random.
Tantai Jin can make someone un-demonic, just like that? Why didn't he do that for his sifu instead of resorting to mercy-killing?
Has these destructive fireballs been raining down on humanity the whole time this Devil God array has been open (several episodes ago)?
Someone ought to try and fight this burning fire instead.
I guess the point is that Tantai Jin tries to save everyone while making everyone think he's evil. Susu becomes a goddess and now knows all because godhood (hi, Jabba, I understand why you're a know-it-all now). But instead of being annoyed that Tantai Jin tired to "save her from pain", she told him that his stupid plan was what made her reach Nirvana and become a goddess. No, don't reward this stupid behavior!
I do like her goddess costume, though. It's very original Buddhist iconography.
So...she kills his ass to save the world. Then there's a confusing epilogue where Susu returns to the royal tomb in the kingdom of Jin and sees hers and Tantai Jin's tombstones. There's a flashback to show Tantai Jin coming back to carve his own tombstone in case one can't tell where his tombstone came from. I'm not sure why Susu would be so surprised by these tombstones. I thought everything have been revealed to her once she became a goddess? She knows all?
Oh wait, that's not the end yet? Another 500 years pass. Oh, now Susu has a kid.
Probably from that one night of sex. That's the time to use their confusing sperm penetrating egg CGI and they missed the chance.
Fixed it for you. You're welcome.
Part one of kill baby kill
Part two of kill baby kill
Part three of kill baby kill