Romance of the Inexplicable Slimeball
After around 20 episodes, Henry and I gave up on Romance of the Condor Heroes. We just have to hope that the new version comes out in the near future (preferably before the new Heavenly Sword, Dragon Saber), gets English subbed, and doesn't suck.
ROCH is based on Jin Yong's Return of the Condor Heroes. The basic story is about Yang Guo (Yang Kang and Mu Nianci's kid from LOCH) being a little shit - or so this drama will have you believe. In the source material, (spoilers) he has character growth after trials and tribulations and ends up saving China in some way and thereby redeeming his dad's horrible life choices.
Actual story is probably slightly less annoying than this drama will lead you to believe, but it's also the least memorable story (in my opinion) in the Jin Yong trilogy. In any event, I refuse to believe Yang Guo actually went around calling every random girl he came across his wife when he's supposed to be very much in love with Xiaolongnu.
Cast and Characters
Inexplicable slimeball Yang Guo is played by Leo Wu (Nirvana in Fire, Fights Break Sphere), and later on as an adult by Chen Xiao (Swordsman, The Three Heroes and Five Gallants).
Slimeball ver. 1.0
Slimeball ver. 2.0
Both of them were inoffensive to me before watching ROCH. I actually had a positive opinion of Chen Xiao since he was the best part of the shitty The Three Heroes and Five Gallants. Now, they're both on my mental side-eye list.
Extraordinary beautiful Xiaolongnu (based on source materia) is played by fairly pretty, but not pretty enough for the internet mob Michelle Chen (You Are the Apple of My Eye).
The internet mob is very hung up on Liu Yifei (Disney's new Mulan) and her version of Xiaolongnu.
On a random note, I actually always mentally link this Michelle Chen with white Michelle Williams. Both of them are probably pretty in the girl-next-door kind of way and just kind of unmemorably inoffensive.
Asides from the internet mob blaming Michelle Chen's unattractiveness for this horrible drama, they also blame her for not having any chemistry with Chen Xiao.
Real life spoilers: Chen Xiao and Michelle Chen got married in real life after filming this drama together.
I know real life relationships doesn't always translate to onscreen chemistry. But I really don't think Michelle Chen, either her attractiveness/lack thereof or chemistry with co-starts is the issue with this production.
What makes this drama so terrible? Well, let me count the ways:
1. Unappealing main character
I think in the source material, Yang Guo is supposed to be a little shit. And therefore character growth or whatever (spoilers) by the end of the story when he's loses an arm but gains his dignity.
Slimeball final ver. 3.0
But it's one thing to be a mischievous little shit but quite another to be a slimeball jerk. I don't know who decided on it since both Leo Wu and Chen Xiao act similarly slimebally (good job acting similarly bad, I guess?). It could be the fault of the director, it could be the fault of the actors. But we end up with two actors portraying the same guy so unappealingly that I end up feeling sorry for Xiaolongnu for having to put up with this crap. We kept waiting for Yang Guo to grow up and maybe be less bad of an adult. But as of episode 20, that hasn't happened yet. I guess at least Leo Wu and Chen Xiao had consistency going for them. /slow clap
It seems to come down to China not knowing what to do with male characters that are supposed to be dashing, mischievous, carefree, unconventional rogues. Being mischievous doesn't mean that you act like a five-year-old throwing a tantrum (even Leo Wu was too old to be acting that poorly). Being carefree doesn't mean you don't give a damn about other people's feelings and just do whatever you want. Probably the only time I can think of where it was done well in recent memory would be Wallace Huo's Linghu Chong from Swordsman. But when it's done bad - as if often is done badly - it's so bad! See: Chinese Paladin 3 as another example of inexplicable slimeball main male character.
2. Whimsy. Constant whimsy
I like foolish things. I like comedy. But what I don't like is misplaced comedy. At one point, Xiaolongnu is pretty much raped by a pathetic forever alone Taoist but she thought it was Yang Guo (in which case it would have been at least borderline consensual sex).
When she talks to Yang Guo afterwards, he's unaware and she gets upset at him thinking that he took it as casual sex. She spits up blood and runs off. Yang Guo is concerned for all of a minute and then decides to get into whimsical adventures involving another woman (also annoying) for at least two episodes in which we get so much whimsical music bombarded at our ears to let us know that everything is very comical, okay? I mean, what kind of a slimeball jerk sees his sifu and only person to give a damn about him (paraphrasing Yang Guo's own words) spit up blood and gives so little of a damn that he goes off on random other adventures instead. Like, what the hell? And what the hell at the production? None of it should be whimsical and fun after that rape.
3. Too many unappealing, annoying characters.
I was going to list them, but then I realized that would involve me having to look up who these people are.
Her voice, man.
Her voice, man.
Everything about this guy.
And those are just from the first 20 episodes. The drama is over 50 episodes long so I can imagine there would be twice (or more) that amount of annoying people by the end.
4. Money saving production
This drama being made in a period in which China is big on bad CGI, there's lots of bad CGI in here. That makes the fight scenes so unappealing, especially coming off of the pretty fighty LOCH 2017.
This drama shares the same screenwriter for 2013's Swordsman. I'm guessing most of the production is the same since they straight up recycled some costumes and sets.
Swordsman - Dongfang Bubai
ROCH - Li Moucho...or however it's spelled
Recycling is good for the environment...but at least make it less obvious? Like, separate those layers and give them to different characters.
So, one can either wait for ROCH 2019 to come out. Or one can watch the 2006 version. I don't know if there's a good video quality version for 2006 out there and I can't guarantee that Yang Guo will be any less annoying since it's also a China production.
ROCH is based on Jin Yong's Return of the Condor Heroes. The basic story is about Yang Guo (Yang Kang and Mu Nianci's kid from LOCH) being a little shit - or so this drama will have you believe. In the source material, (spoilers) he has character growth after trials and tribulations and ends up saving China in some way and thereby redeeming his dad's horrible life choices.
Actual story is probably slightly less annoying than this drama will lead you to believe, but it's also the least memorable story (in my opinion) in the Jin Yong trilogy. In any event, I refuse to believe Yang Guo actually went around calling every random girl he came across his wife when he's supposed to be very much in love with Xiaolongnu.
Cast and Characters
Inexplicable slimeball Yang Guo is played by Leo Wu (Nirvana in Fire, Fights Break Sphere), and later on as an adult by Chen Xiao (Swordsman, The Three Heroes and Five Gallants).
Slimeball ver. 1.0
Slimeball ver. 2.0
Both of them were inoffensive to me before watching ROCH. I actually had a positive opinion of Chen Xiao since he was the best part of the shitty The Three Heroes and Five Gallants. Now, they're both on my mental side-eye list.
Extraordinary beautiful Xiaolongnu (based on source materia) is played by fairly pretty, but not pretty enough for the internet mob Michelle Chen (You Are the Apple of My Eye).
The internet mob is very hung up on Liu Yifei (Disney's new Mulan) and her version of Xiaolongnu.
On a random note, I actually always mentally link this Michelle Chen with white Michelle Williams. Both of them are probably pretty in the girl-next-door kind of way and just kind of unmemorably inoffensive.
Asides from the internet mob blaming Michelle Chen's unattractiveness for this horrible drama, they also blame her for not having any chemistry with Chen Xiao.
Real life spoilers: Chen Xiao and Michelle Chen got married in real life after filming this drama together.
I know real life relationships doesn't always translate to onscreen chemistry. But I really don't think Michelle Chen, either her attractiveness/lack thereof or chemistry with co-starts is the issue with this production.
What makes this drama so terrible? Well, let me count the ways:
1. Unappealing main character
I think in the source material, Yang Guo is supposed to be a little shit. And therefore character growth or whatever (spoilers) by the end of the story when he's loses an arm but gains his dignity.
Slimeball final ver. 3.0
But it's one thing to be a mischievous little shit but quite another to be a slimeball jerk. I don't know who decided on it since both Leo Wu and Chen Xiao act similarly slimebally (good job acting similarly bad, I guess?). It could be the fault of the director, it could be the fault of the actors. But we end up with two actors portraying the same guy so unappealingly that I end up feeling sorry for Xiaolongnu for having to put up with this crap. We kept waiting for Yang Guo to grow up and maybe be less bad of an adult. But as of episode 20, that hasn't happened yet. I guess at least Leo Wu and Chen Xiao had consistency going for them. /slow clap
It seems to come down to China not knowing what to do with male characters that are supposed to be dashing, mischievous, carefree, unconventional rogues. Being mischievous doesn't mean that you act like a five-year-old throwing a tantrum (even Leo Wu was too old to be acting that poorly). Being carefree doesn't mean you don't give a damn about other people's feelings and just do whatever you want. Probably the only time I can think of where it was done well in recent memory would be Wallace Huo's Linghu Chong from Swordsman. But when it's done bad - as if often is done badly - it's so bad! See: Chinese Paladin 3 as another example of inexplicable slimeball main male character.
2. Whimsy. Constant whimsy
I like foolish things. I like comedy. But what I don't like is misplaced comedy. At one point, Xiaolongnu is pretty much raped by a pathetic forever alone Taoist but she thought it was Yang Guo (in which case it would have been at least borderline consensual sex).
When she talks to Yang Guo afterwards, he's unaware and she gets upset at him thinking that he took it as casual sex. She spits up blood and runs off. Yang Guo is concerned for all of a minute and then decides to get into whimsical adventures involving another woman (also annoying) for at least two episodes in which we get so much whimsical music bombarded at our ears to let us know that everything is very comical, okay? I mean, what kind of a slimeball jerk sees his sifu and only person to give a damn about him (paraphrasing Yang Guo's own words) spit up blood and gives so little of a damn that he goes off on random other adventures instead. Like, what the hell? And what the hell at the production? None of it should be whimsical and fun after that rape.
3. Too many unappealing, annoying characters.
I was going to list them, but then I realized that would involve me having to look up who these people are.
Her voice, man.
Her voice, man.
Everything about this guy.
And those are just from the first 20 episodes. The drama is over 50 episodes long so I can imagine there would be twice (or more) that amount of annoying people by the end.
4. Money saving production
This drama being made in a period in which China is big on bad CGI, there's lots of bad CGI in here. That makes the fight scenes so unappealing, especially coming off of the pretty fighty LOCH 2017.
This drama shares the same screenwriter for 2013's Swordsman. I'm guessing most of the production is the same since they straight up recycled some costumes and sets.
Swordsman - Dongfang Bubai
ROCH - Li Moucho...or however it's spelled
Recycling is good for the environment...but at least make it less obvious? Like, separate those layers and give them to different characters.
So, one can either wait for ROCH 2019 to come out. Or one can watch the 2006 version. I don't know if there's a good video quality version for 2006 out there and I can't guarantee that Yang Guo will be any less annoying since it's also a China production.