Stinking drunk
It's Friday night. The Olympic Opening Ceremony is on tonight. Time to get drunk:
Take a sip when:
* The announcers mention Zika.
* The announcers shade other nations'/athletes' accomplishments.
* The announcers are ugly Americans.
* There are obvious product placements.
* The performance does something to symbolize world unity.
* There are fireworks/pyrotechnics (Olympic Flame counts).
* A speech goes on too long and you zone out.
* An athlete wears their flag like a cape.
* An athlete flashes the peace/victory sign.
Take a drink when:
* There are nations you've never heard of.
* A nation has less than 10 athletes.
* A nation has so many athletes that you can't see the next nation in the lineup.
Take a gulp when:
* A nation has less than 3 athletes.
* The ceremony ends without a hitch.
* The ceremony glitches due to poor infrastructure.
Anything else I forgot to add?
Take a sip when:
* The announcers mention Zika.
* The announcers shade other nations'/athletes' accomplishments.
* The announcers are ugly Americans.
* There are obvious product placements.
* The performance does something to symbolize world unity.
* There are fireworks/pyrotechnics (Olympic Flame counts).
* A speech goes on too long and you zone out.
* An athlete wears their flag like a cape.
* An athlete flashes the peace/victory sign.
Take a drink when:
* There are nations you've never heard of.
* A nation has less than 10 athletes.
* A nation has so many athletes that you can't see the next nation in the lineup.
Take a gulp when:
* A nation has less than 3 athletes.
* The ceremony ends without a hitch.
* The ceremony glitches due to poor infrastructure.
Anything else I forgot to add?