(no subject)
:sigh: this didn't really fit with the mood of my last entry, but now i'm going to bitch about Dawn of the Dead. i think maybe i have too high of expectations for horror movies. i've haven't been scared by a movie since i was 5. jason used to fuck my shit up. i usually just laugh. they always do the ridiculous shock horror with shitty "scary" music and the loud bangs and people jumping out and stuff. i want to see a movie that is so completely fucked up that they don't even need to use lame shocks to get to the audience. that never gets me at all. all my friends were screaming and clinging to me in the theater. and i was like, "right. okay." nothing phases me. texas chainsaw massacre was seriously disappointing. house of the dead was the fucking laughable. whoever wrote that movie should die. i kept seeing shots used over and over and over again. if your movie is going to suck, at least have the common decency to film the whole thing. instead of repeating very, very obvious shots. throughout the WHOLE movie. it was fun though. i saw it opening night at 10pm. and everyone was insane and throwing things at the screen and screaming curses all over the place. haha. rock it. but moving to the point -- i'm upset that i paid to see Dawn of the Dead. it was cheesy. and fake. and utterly ridiculous. i mean, come on, what the hell was the deal with mekhi phifer's fucking...zombie-child? did he expect it to be...human? yeah. right. i'm sorry, but when your wife is a zombie, the kid is pretty much a given. he had to put a muzzle on the bitch to keep her from biting his ass. i'm sorry. i don't care who the hell it was. i'd shoot my mother in the face if she was a crazy, dead zombie. that scene was sick as hell. bleh. that gets a 9 on my ew-factor scale. and what the HELL was with that fat bitch who turned zombie and got up and fucking ran all over the place. whoa-damn, yo. that lady could MOVE. i laughed really hard. and people got angry with me. bleh. whatev. the scene in the van where the dude falls and cuts that chick in half with the chainsaw looked fake as hell. but that girl was obnoxious. so it's about time she bit the dust. the rich guy got on my nerves hardcorextime. the main girl in the movie had annoying teeth. they were like...really small and weird. she reminded me of an ugly Uma Thurman. for real. and her husband was mad funny looking. but he's toast. that's what you get when you fuck in the shower instead of watching the news. she wrecked her car and i laughed. a lot of the explosions were ridiculous. like when they were fucking with the mall generator and they sprayed gas on all the zombies outside the fence. what. the. fuck. there was this HUGE explosion and shit. but no one was hurt. and all those propane, gas, and helium tanks...yeah. they were unscathed. yeah fucking right. that place would have been a damn powdercake. the way the people's flesh tore when the zombies bit them was fake looking. it reminded me of evil dead's clay-mation bullshit. i laughed when the guy that looked high through the whole movie had to stay on the dock. because he was bitten. sucks to be him. that chick was all up on his junk. whatev to that. she just watched her husband get eaten by a zombie. what's up? i wanted to MURDER that girl, nicole, coincidentally, who was obsessive over that dog. she all went across the street after it. haha. i just laughed and laughed, like, "you IDIOT." why the hell would she do that anyway? they didn't even NOTICE the dog. then there's the inconsistency in the amount of time that it takes to get bitten and turn into a zombie. the guy, andy, from the roof across the street got bitten and was a zombie 30 seconds later. i guess it depends on how quickly they die? because chick's husband turned right away because he died right away. andy said he was bitten, but he was okay. so i seriously doubt he died that soon? he didn't even look fucked up when you see him later as zombie-andy.. and then the russian girl didn't die for days and days after getting bitten. the part where they're picking off the zombies that look like celebrities is funny. he's like "rosie o'donelle" and the black guy's like, "yeah!". i seriously doubt all those zombies would just head over to the mall. there's other shit to do..like. kill people in surrounding towns. not mill around outside the mall. if i was a zombie, i wouldn't go to the damn mall. i'd eat some people. for shizzil.
and you know what?
it serves them right to arrive at the island to find it coated in zombies. it wasn't an abandoned island, for god's sake. use some brains, people. i bet they died.
all in all, the characters were annoying. the so-called "top of the line special effects" were annoying. and it was ridiculously unbelievable. i mean. you don't even know what the hell caused the zombies to appear. whatever to this movie.
/end rant
my horoscope just came.
You have temporarily lost the ability to control your own fantasy life. Your thoughts now have a life of their own and they are not doing what they are supposed to do. Instead of following the strong chains of logic, your mind is now sailing purposefully into the fog -- with the intention of getting lost. After you've completely lost your bearings, you'll begin to be able to rediscover a new direction based upon newly forming goals.
horoscopes never cease to amaze me.