And after all, you're my wonderwall.
Dan,
A.J. beat up Madsen and he's in the hospital with a broken leg. I'm at the end of my rope. Don't make it worse by having sex with Arianna, I can't handle that right now. Sam will be home soon.
Stay out of trouble,
Aunt Carly
I can respect that. I'm not going to listen to her, but I can respect her feelings towards the situation. "Aunt ( Read more... )
A.J. beat up Madsen and he's in the hospital with a broken leg. I'm at the end of my rope. Don't make it worse by having sex with Arianna, I can't handle that right now. Sam will be home soon.
Stay out of trouble,
Aunt Carly
I can respect that. I'm not going to listen to her, but I can respect her feelings towards the situation. "Aunt ( Read more... )
"A bookstore?"
It's good to hear that she found a job. I've heard enough from Carly and Sam to know that it wasn't easy for her, not to mention her comments the other day about not being able to settle in on one thing. Arianna's having a difficult time figuring out what she wants to do with her life, this might help point her in the right direction. Although I might end up having to confess to Arianna that it's hard to picture her working in a book store. She's extremely energetic, and the guys in the one I go to always look half dead.
Come to think of it, one time when I went in, I mistook a sleeping old man for a dead one, and woke him up to make sure everything was alright. I had to stay out of the place for two weeks after that, when all I was trying to do was help somebody.
"So I'm sort of celebrating right now... kind of. What're you up to?"
"Not much. I'm thinking about hitting the books."
I have a lot of work to do. As tempting as it is to ask her out and put everything aside for a while, it shouldn't happen. I want to ask, so badly that it might be safer to hang up than it is to keep talking, but I know what I should be doing tonight, no matter how much I'd rather be going out with her.
"Congratulations on the job. You may have aggravated them into hiring you, but they won't regret it."
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"Yes, a bookstore. Hard to believe, but that's where I'll be working." And since my nerdy little hidden secret is that I actually kind of love reading, I should be right at home. I can still think of a few ways I could get fired, but pessimism isn't allowed right now.
"Not much. I'm thinking about hitting the books."
Alright, I called it somewhat pre emptively, but whatever. "So this is a pre study study break?" I blinked, and shrugged a bit. Could be worse activities, I suppose.
"Congratulations on the job. You may have aggravated them into hiring you, but they won't regret it."
"Very encouraging and uplifting of you, thanks." I grinned, getting off of the counter and going for another soda. "So what're you supposed to be working on technically, instead of calling me? I wouldn't want to push you too far off the track."
Oops, he may not catch that was humor. If he can't catch my sarcasm, he might not catch that. Oh well. "That was a joke, just in case you didn't know." I said sheepishly, changing the track on the cd from 'Ruby Tuesday' to 'Satisfaction', to my favorite, 'Can't You Hear Me Knocking', although I never completely got why it's my favorite.
It gets stuck in your head real easy if you let it though.
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"You could call it that."
She could call it anything she wants. It doesn't make any difference to me. She knows that I was thinking about her, that's the bottom line.
"So what're you supposed to be working on technically, instead of calling me? I wouldn't want to push you too far off the track."
"Research. I have to write a comparison essay on Aristotle and Augustine."
I plan to get it done as quickly as possible. It shouldn't be very difficult. Aristotle is Reilly's most discussed contemporary thinker. My notes will lessen the work load, but the comparison part may prove to be a challenge. I know I'll focus on their similarities for the first two drafts, and then on my third I'll add in the uniqueness of their beliefs and life situations. By my forth draft, I should have everything that I need.
"That was a joke, just in case you didn't know."
I missed that one. I should have, I knew she was excited and silly about her new job. Three greetings, and then I forgot. She wouldn't want to hear about my paper anyway. I don't want to hear about it, and I'm the one who is expected to write it.
"Sorry, I lost my sense of humor for a minute there. Give it a second, it'll come back to me."
With some luck, she won't mind my temporary loss of human enjoyment. I know she said she likes me, but what kind of person can't laugh at someone's joke?
"Carly sent me a text message. She thinks we're together. Biblically."
She might get a laugh out of that.
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"I completely forgive you." I grinned, and shook my head, digging through the fridge for something to eat, trying really hard not to hum along with the music. I don't want to freak him out or anything, although I don't think I could do much more to Dan that would freak him out.
And I sort of don't want to try so... moot point... or something. I don't know, I'm hungry, leave me alone.
"Carly sent me a text message. She thinks we're together. Biblically."
Biblically as in... biblically?
"What?" My head went up, and I banged it ontop of the fridge. "Ow!" Alright, that hurt. Profusely. I'm going to have a bruise now. "Ow..." I muttered, pulling my head out of the fridge and rubbing the back of my head.
Perfect move Arianna, let's just give that one a ten, shall we? Oh bugger.
"Sorry, that... I... banged my head."
I went for the food again this time, making a note to move everything to the front of the fridge before I hurt myself again, and pulled some stuff out for ice cream, getting the rest from the freezer.
"What gave her that idea?" Not that I wouldn't want to... But the last time I had a chance, I sort of was drunk, and he apparently didn't want to, so that didn't happen.
And let's not forget the fact that I'd sleep with Dan anywhere, anytime, in a heartbeat, but since I haven't yet, Carly has no reason to think I would, so...
Now I'm confused. And now I'm wondering who else thinks I got biblical. If I hear one crack out of my brother when he gets back, I'm going to crack him right in half. Bastard has no room to talk about anything biblical, thank you.
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"Are you alright?"
The sudden bang followed by her comments make me think I scared her with that comment. Either scared, or made her uncomfortable. I wasn't trying to hint about anything, the message made me laugh. I thought I'd share it with Arianna, but she doesn't seem to notice the humor in the situation. Carly's obsessing again. The last time she was concerned about anything that had to do with me, she was telling me not to be a lawyer. To this day she still believes that I'm going to turn out like her father. I get bothered by it when she acts like she doesn't have any faith in my character, although usually her worry is the result of experience. She's family, and she only overreacts because she cares. There are worse types of meddling aunts in the world.
"Sorry, that... I... banged my head."
"It sounded painful. Sorry if I caught you off guard with that..."
I didn't stop to think that it might be an issue for her. I'll be more careful about those kind of remarks next time, but now I'm selfishly curious to know if the idea of the two of us having sex upsets her as much as it sounded like it did. Sadly, I've adjusted to going without. And with Arianna, she's worth however long the wait is going to be..but the thought of it made her bang her head....
That's a terrible sign. I could be looking at a wait so long that I'll forget how in the meantime.
"What gave her that idea?"
"You, drunk and all over me at the party. And then me telling Carly that she'd have to deal with it if we did get together."
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"No, no." I said quickly. "You didn't, I was just... surprised." I am, I'm allowed to be. Carly's well aware I've had horrible luck with guys, no matter how bad I want Dan she knows I'm not liable to do anything unless I'm... y'know... sure. Sure that I'm not going to wake up and find myself on a website.
Dan's not the type to do that, I know that, I just... Oh now he's going to think I'm afraid of sex. Damn it... no! I'm not afraid of sex! I'm afraid of the guys who are doing the sex thing and then embarassing me horribly!
Oh for the love of...
"You, drunk and all over me at the party. And then me telling Carly that she'd have to deal with it if we did get together."
"Oh. Right." He said she'd have to 'deal with it'? That's fantastic. I like that. Rather excellent he'd tell her off like that, isn't it? "That would do it, wouldn't it."
Suddenly, my sugar high is gone. I'm not in a happy mood anymore, because now he's going to think I'm afraid of sex. And I'm not. Was me being all over him any indication at all?!
I finished up with the ice cream, even though I'm all depressed, and sat back on the counter to eat it. "Well I mean... that... wouldn't be all bad... would it?" I have to show I'm not afraid of sex. Know why? I'm not.
I'm just afraid of embarassment that you can't really knock someone out over. I'm sorry, but this is how it is, so leave me alone.
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Surprised sounds better. The wait will be shorter if she was surprised, not caught off guard. Ordinarily, surprised and caught off guard would mean the same thing, but their hidden meanings are different given the situation. If she had agreed to being caught off guard, it would imply that she planned on keeping her guard up. Guard. Barrier. Same thing. A surprise is usually considered a good thing, and it should hold it's meaning here too... which means suprised is more positive than being caught off guard.
"Oh. Right. That would do it, wouldn't it."
"It would and it did."
But let's be realistic about this whole thing; it's Carly. If the two of us smiled at each other the wrong way she'd assume that I planned on taking Arianna home with me.
"Well I mean... that... wouldn't be all bad... would it?"
"What wouldn't? Having sex?"
I need to make sure that I understand her correctly. If I do, surprised was meant in a negative way. You don't say 'all bad' in reference to something you're planning to do, you say it when you're discussing something that you wouldd rather avoid. I'm back to square one, with a slightly bruised ego this time around, and an incredible girlfriend who won't think it's all bad to do much more than kiss her.
In my experience, it isn't supposed to be bad at all.
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No. Buying a Martha Stewart kitchen set. Or maybe painting my entire appartment pink. That wouldn't be all bad, would it. Not at all.
"Yes." I sighed, eating some of my ice cream and grabbing myself an extra cherry. I'm going to need a lot of those cherries, thank God for comfort food in all it's forms.
I'll just make this really short. It'll be better for me, less embarassing... hopefully. "Look, every boyfriend I've had, it sort of ended badly. I'd really really like for you to be different, if it's all the same."
... Does he consider himself my boyfriend? Oh God, now my good mood's just shot. I'm getting ahead of myself here.
"I've been in a few really embarassing situations, that I don't really wish to go into." I slid down on the counter a bit, eating more ice cream. Oh just shoot me. I'm so glad he's not the type to really press it, I don't want to talk about it.
"So when you talked about what Carly said, I was surprised, but I don't consider having sex bad." I paused. "... That makes sense, right?"
Shoot me. Shoot me now.
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We're on the same page about one thing, we sound exclusive. It's good. I could have been jumping the gun on that one when I assumed that we were. I guess I walked away with a good feeling about us after she showed up on campus. She's not the type of girl to say what she did, and kiss me without having the same expectations I did.
"I've been in a few really embarassing situations, that I don't really wish to go into."
Is that what she's worried about? I've had my share of those too. Unlike Arianna, I wouldn't mention them at all. The most notable one is far too humiliating to discuss with someone who called me her boyfriend for the first time only seconds ago. I have a feeling the bad experience would scare her away. She'd laugh it off first, but the phonecall would end shortly after, and I'd know why. In this case, I'm not the slightest bit curious about what happened to her because I don't want to have to make any confessions myself. I know why she said what she did, it's fine with me.
"So when you talked about what Carly said, I was surprised, but I don't consider having sex bad... That makes sense, right?"
"Right."
I should say more than that. If I keep too quiet about the whole thing, she'll suspect that I'm hiding somethng from her. Or worse yet, she might think that I'm still unhappy with her because she's afraid to embarrass herself again.
"I understand why you've bumped your head. I've had one or two humiliating moments, and believe me when I say I know what you mean."
Hopefully, she'll get over it in time. I don't need any assurances, and she doesn't have to keep trying to convince me that she's okay, but eventually Arianna might be comfortable with me enough to overcome her minor fear about the whole thing. All I need is the possibility, and I have it.
"I don't expect anything from you, you know that right? We haven't had a real date yet, this entire conversation is happening prematurely."
I only started it because Carly's so hell bent on keeping us apart. Our conversation alone would keep her up at night if she knew about it.
"We'll talk about having sex and not embarrassing ourselves when you're ready for it, okay? Someday, somewhere down the line."
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"I know, I'm just sort of getting it all out of the way." I muttered, eating some more ice cream. I don't know why this is so embarassing if he's so unnervingly fine with it. I guess it's because just about every woman I've ever known is too confident in that area.
Who knew I'd ever have low confidence about something. Bugger.
He's been embarassed too though. Maybe I'm just being too dramatic here. It's possible. I've admittedly done it before. And made things worse because of it.
"We'll talk about having sex and not embarrassing ourselves when you're ready for it, okay? Someday, somewhere down the line."
He sounds like a man who's accepted a death sentence on sex. Wonderful. "Well, shouldn't be too far down." I shrugged. "It'd be kind of amish and pathetic." I paused, rethinking what I just said. "Don't expect to understand that, I don't think I do." I frowned.
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I'm glad she said that, although I'm not sure how to take it. The wait sounds shorter when she puts it that way, but I don't entirely understand how we're like the amish. I don't think I'd do well with living independently and growing my own food. I'm learning to keep those jokes to myself. Attempting something remotely funny with her would make Arianna think I was criticizing, especially after what was just said.
"Don't expect to understand that, I don't think I do."
"Alright, we won't be pathetic."
We'll find other things to be. I'm more afraid of us turning out like Carly and Sam than I am of us being pathetic, but I think we can avoid that one too. It's hard to consider us anything at the moment, but we both agree that we're seeing each other, and I don't doubt that Arianna intends for it to be exclusive.
"Do you have any plans for Friday night? I'd like to take you out to celebrate but I have a lot to do before I can go anywhere with peace of mind. "
I should be done with everything by then. Arianna deserves a special night for getting the job at the book store.
"You think you'd be up for a surprise?"
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Oh, he got that? When I didn't even get that, he understood what I meant, and I'm the one who said it? That's good. At least someone understands what I'm talking about.
"Do you have any plans for Friday night? I'd like to take you out to celebrate but I have a lot to do before I can go anywhere with peace of mind."
Plans? Me? Do I ever actually have plans? That's a silly question. He doesn't know me very well, does he.
"I don't have any plans." I grinned a little, finishing up my ice cream. "What'd you have in mind?"
"You think you'd be up for a surprise?"
I hate surprises. I was the worst with surprises when I was younger, I used to kill every last one of them either for fun or to be spiteful. Drove Sam flat out nuts. But if Dan wants to do a surprise...
"Yeah, sure." I dropped my bowl in the sink, tossing the spoon with it. "Don't overwork yourself, know what I mean? Do whatever you have to. Me getting a job isn't all that big a deal."
Okay, it was a big deal before he made a big deal out of it, now I feel oddly humble. And I'm never humble. Oh is this ever odd.
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"I won't."
I wonder what Arianna would consider overworking. Typically when people say they're going to surprise someone, they do it to the best of their ability. I'll put as much effort into her 'surprise' as time will allow. I don't have very much free time right now, but I have a good idea of what I can do. Barring the possibility of a dislike for the setting, it's a good surprise. It'll take some work, but all good surprises require effort.
Arianna deserves something special. If I can't work special, it'll be different. As far as I know it's something she doesn't do very often. Either she doesn't like it, or she lacks the opportunity. I'm willing to find out which of the two it is.
"I'll pick you up at seven?"
I can call her before then, can't I? It would be pretty shitty if I had to wait to talk to her until friday. I have things to do, papers to write, chapters to read, but when I'm not doing those things, eating, sleeping, or going to the bathroom, and I get five or ten minutes of free time...
I'm big on communication. I don't want her to find someone else because I was too busy researching to give her a call. I've seen it happen. I don't want to be that guy.
School is important. But not as important as it used to be.
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Good. I can stop being humble now, since he clearly understands that part. And yet, I still feel like I should say something else. But I'm not going to, because I don't want to ruin it.
Even though I hate surprises. But I can get over having to know absolutely everything. Hopefully...
"I'll pick you up at seven?"
Seven is good. "Yes, sure." I headed over into my bedroom, and ignored my first impulse to bolt to the closet and figure out what I was going to wear in advance. That's a little too obsessive, even though Friday isn't too far away.
I'll just obsess the day before. Since I haven't been on an actual date since forever. And oh is that ever sad. Extensively. Damn damn damn.
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"Okay...cool."
I should hang up now that we have plans. That book on client confidentiality isn't going to read itself for my assignment. It looks like it might be an interesting read, but I don't feel like doing it now that I have a surprise to plan. There aren't too many details to be worked out. I'll call Rich's dad, see if everything is alright with him, and then get started on the clean up. I can do it tomorrow, it shouldn't take very long.
The problem is, I don't want to get working on my assigment right now. I did before I started thinking about Arianna. Next time I'll call her after I get everything finished up.
"I'm going to go. I have a reading assignment for a paper that I've been putting off."
When I put it that way, my entire life is boring. Not all of us can be vampire slayers and pyrokenetics, but I could have twisted the truth to make my reasons for saying goodbye sound a little better.
It came out lame. The sad thing is that usually I wouldn't think anything of it.
"I'll see you on Friday, good look with the job. And congratulations, again."
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