'Oh for the sake of momentum, I've allowed my fears to get larger than life...'
"Bye Sam!"
"Hope you can come on the next shoot Sam, that was fun."
"SAM-O! Call me buddy, we'll talk about the next shoot! Great work buddy!"It's like having a fan club, with unnerving amounts of very beautiful women that I can't touch, and one really annoying bald guy who won't stop calling me 'Sam-O ( Read more... )
"Hope you can come on the next shoot Sam, that was fun."
"SAM-O! Call me buddy, we'll talk about the next shoot! Great work buddy!"It's like having a fan club, with unnerving amounts of very beautiful women that I can't touch, and one really annoying bald guy who won't stop calling me 'Sam-O ( Read more... )
Okay, so I'm having a bad day, so screw me. I hate knowing that I intentionally hurt Jake and I meant what I said when I told him that I love him. We're such good friends, and I think I might have ruined that.
Sam will be thrilled.
"Bye byes?"
"No, no bye byes for us."
I smiled and gave Julia a kiss on the forehead. She didn't know why we were all alone today. Not that she wasn't happy; I managed just fine without Jake or Sam, but instead of missing one of them, I missed them both.
I would have missed Sam less if he had called me like he promised he would. I don't know why I'm here. He's probably pissed off that he had to leave the 'party' again.
"Dada! Dada! Dadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"Laughing, I looked in the ( ... )
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I know that baby yell anywhere.
I grinned, looking in the direction of where it came from, seeing Julia waving her arms at me. And Carly... who doesn't really seem pleased over something. What would she be...
... Oh.
I knew I should have shaved before I came home. Just maybe. I didn't think it'd be that big a deal, but it looks like it's going to be. "Hey." I smiled anyway as they came over. She wants to have a problem with me looking a little different for a change, she can bring it up.
"Dada!"
"Hey, welcome home.""Thanks. I wasn't sure you guys'd be here." I took Julia. "Hey." I grinned at her, taking baby hugs and kisses. "I missed you guys ( ... )
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He's alone. That helps; not much since I appear to be dating the garbage man, but it does. And I don't understand why he was so 'unsure' about the two us showing up. I offered to leave him off when he left, of course I'd come pick him up.
Can I help it if I missed the guy?
"I missed you guys."
Sure, sure he did. Sam didn't care enough to call or email, or send a damn postcard, but he must have missed us a little. I'm not going to think about how he was probably too busy doing other things to shave. What the hell distracted him so much? You wake up in the morning, and if you're alone, you have time to shave.
Sam didn't shave. And that kiss felt really weird. I mean, I've kissed scruffy guys before, but the scruffy guy was never Sam. The familiarity thing is gone. Shot to hell because he didn't shave.
Bastard.
...Who I missed.
"How'd it go?"Good for the first six and a half days, and then I screwed it over in the last minute. It would have been perfect if I didn't go and open my ( ... )
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Oh.
Well... that's... bad... for Jake... who was helping out with Julia... so I should be some sort of grateful... But he left last night. Gee. I wonder why that might have been. Carly saying she pulled a 'me' could mean just about anything.
Gotta suck for Jake... I think...
Yeah, I'm not happy about that at all. I'm a little... concerned, about the situation that might have happened.
... Yeah.
Trying really hard to look indifferent, I looked over at Carly as I pulled my headphones off the rest of the way so Julia'd stop trying to kill me with them. "What happened?"
Not that I care. It's just gotta be really bad for Jake... who was helping out... I have to really remember that part. Wonder what the 'pulling a me' was...
I don't care, really, I'm just making conversation here.
Kinda.
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No, not what happened. We're not going to discuss this while Sam's distracted with looking for his bags. I don't feel like having this conversation in public, it's not a public issue. We can talk about it when we get home, at length if he wants.
"I don't want to talk about it right now."
Julia is happy. I am too, I guess. It's just weird being happy and sad at once. I've been waiting for Sam to come home all week, so having him back is a good thing. I wish the week with Jake could have ended differently, but I still don't know if I had any other choice.
He really does need to get on with his life.
"Let's talk about you."
But not the models, or what you may or may not have done with them. I don't want to know. And not about how sexy they must have thought your wonderful new homeless look is, because it doesn't look like my Sam. My Sam is the real one, everyone knows that. Whatever he was trying to achieve by looking the way he did, it doesn't matter. It's not him ( ... )
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Why not?
I looked, waiting for my bags to come through, and tried to seem like I wasn't thinking of why she doesn't want to talk about it. Could just be because she doesn't want anyone to hear us, but who the hell is going to be listening?
Or, something that shouldn't have happened did happen, and I'm looking at making sure I don't blow anything up pretty soon.
I'm keeping faith with the first one at the moment.
"Let's talk about you."
"... Okay." I tried giving Julia back to Carly as I saw my bags coming through, but she didn't seem alright with letting me go. Which means, I'm doing this the hard way. I grabbed them all as they came by, setting them down.
"What's with the sudden opposition to razor blades?"
I was waiting for that. "A little help?" I asked, motioning to the bags and Julia with my free hand. One or the other Carly, come on.
"And there is none." I shrugged. "I just didn't feel like shaving."
Yeah, like she's going to believe that.
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He needs help, does he? If the shoe was on the other foot, he'd call me on my slayer strength before he snatched Julia. I mean, he'd still help. He'd just remind me that I'm capable of doing it on my own if I want to. And so what if Sam isn't a slayer, he's a guy. He's got muscles that he hasn't really been working out for. Coming home from the Bahamas could be a workout. A workout that he doesn't need, but that's not the point. The point is...well....
What would he be doing if I didn't show up?
Oh right, Julia would be home.
"Sure."
I grabbed the bags and let Julia stay in his arms. I might be forgetful sometimes, but I'm not stupid. If I so much as reached out to Julia, she'd probably start crying. I hope Sam realizes how much she missed him; she's going to be attached to him for the next week at the very least.
"And there is none. I just didn't feel like shaving."Why not? He always feels like shaving when he's home. And even if he doesn't, he acts like a man and does it anyway. Why did he decide to be all ( ... )
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She took all the bags. I meant at least one. Now I'm going to look like Mr. Mom who needs his girlfriend to pick up after him. Or I would, if anyone else we knew was here. Most of the world isn't exactly going to pay attention.
... Save for the three guys over there laughing at me.
That's annoying.
"I'll take one." I shouldered one of the bags over my carry on, letting Carly have the rest so she wouldn't ask questions.
And making their cigarettes flare up on them has nothing to do with anything. I have this thing with vengance every now and again, it's not that big a deal.
"It's different."
... Different how.
"Why didn't you feel like it?"
I shrugged again, heading out. "I just didn't. I was told it looked okay, so I just left it." I'm not going to name names. After names with Carly, comes social security numbers. And then brutal murders that look like they may or may not be suicides.
"So what, you don't like it?"
I'm trying really hard not to make that sound one way or the other.
I am.
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"Fine."
He asked for help, the big baby. One minute he needs a hand, and the next he's grabbing a bag from me so that he doesn't look like a weakling in front of some stupid Kyle Randall rejects. They're not even as tall as him, what's there to be ashamed of?
I mean, you would think he'd be over the slayer strength thing by now. Maybe he'd even consider it a good thing. My abilities come in handy, and it's not like I'm some butch scary man looking kind of woman. White skirt, pink shirt.
Does that make it better or worse?
There goes the cigarette thing. I knew that was coming. Sam's getting a little predictable.
"I just didn't. I was told it looked okay, so I just left it."
See, that's the subtle way of saying that Columbian crack whore models thought it looked hot. I'm not a model, nor am I a Columbian crack whore. I don't care what they think of my boyfriend's new look. He's my boyfriend. I'm the one he came home to. I think my opinion should matter more to him than theirs.
"So what, you don't like it?" ( ... )
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I came back different?
I don't shave, I'm a little sunburned, a little tanned, crap like that, and I'm different? Different how? Do I look like I slept with someone else? Since I didn't, that'd be considerably unfair.
"Different how." I muttered, heading out to the car with her and loading my stuff in, making sure to nod my head at Julia's baby babble every minute or two so she didn't feel neglected.
"Da da da da..."
I'm not sure how to interpret getting smacked in the face a little, and then her letting her hand just rest there. I'm pretty sure that means Julia's opinion is undecided.
"See? She likes it." I think...
I kissed Julia's forehead and looked back over at Carly. "Honestly Car, it's not that big a deal.
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Different like you look broke. And weird. Like one of those creepy hippy fathers who changed his name to Rain or Seaweed or some stupid shit like that and decided to go dance around in the daisy fields for a little while.
Okay, so it's not that bad. Sam doesn't have it in him to look like a hippy. Madsen might, but Sam doesn't. He does look a little older though, and I swear there's at least a little bit of the free spirit thing going on, even if it's not outright Seaweed.
"Just different."
Is he planning on staying like this? Why would he? Sam is an attractive guy; he has a nice face. There's no reason for him to cover it up. And why is he so mad at me for calling it different? I'm not sure what he was expecting of me here. He went away for a week, didn't call once, and came back looking like Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai. Of course I'm going to be confused.
If I dyed my hair he'd throw a fit. But I'm expected to instantly like this.
"See? She likes it."I threw his bags in the back and rolled my eyes at ( ... )
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"Okay." I nodded, getting into the front seat of the car. I sort of expected her to sit in the back at this rate, if me not shaving bugs the living hell out of her that much.
Discrimination just because I didn't shave for a little while. That'd be so utterly Carly, it's frightening.
... And she's sitting in the front.
"We missed you."
"I missed you guys too." I started the car, driving. "Did I miss anything huge?" As long as I don't give off an inch of an idea that I know something, I'm going to stay out of trouble before I get home.
"I mean, aside from the original crap..." Crap that she's looking to commit murder one for, but that's not the point here.
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Why does he have to keep asking about it? I said I didn't want to talk about it. Sam should be nice for once and let it go. I was stupid last night. Stupid to think that Jake hearing how I felt would make him start moving in the right direction. It rubbed salt in his wounds. That's it. No improvements. No better anything.
And now if he doesn't love me, he hates me.
"I mean, aside from the original crap..."Please don't tell me he's referring to what happened with Jake. Sam calling that crap would really piss me off. He shouldn't try to make light of the situation just because things worked out pretty okay for him ( ... )
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