He would.
Sam would try to turn the tables and make me feel guilty for being mad at him, he just would. Stupid pathological liar who I happen to love. I was planning on ignoring him until he left, now I want to play nice for a while. We can deal with everything when he gets home, can't we? Next week I'll have more time with him to be pissy about it
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Just a little.
"Da da! Da da da da..."
I laughed as she waved the stuffed animal around. It was an elephant, Arianna had bought it for her a while ago. Which had led to a lot of talking about Mr. Stone the pink elephant who basically, in Arianna's opinion, owned everyone. And she didn't get over that until she was nine.
I think she still has the thing. I wonder if I can show it to Dan and get away with it.
"Like that one, huh?"
"Hey."
And that was without a growl and everything... I looked over my shoulder. "Hey." And got smacked in the chest with the elephant. "... Thanks Jules."
We've now found yet another girl to laugh at me. "You giving her lessons or something?" That was a joke. Take that as a joke, for the sake of my sanity. I don't want more fighting and not talking, it drives me nuts.
"... How was slaying?"
That was lame. Even for me.
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I think we're getting somewhere. I'm not going to laugh at that, because I think we're getting somewhere. He didn't pull a manbitch attitude on me, and I didn't growl at him. For us, that's progress. In order to keep the progress moving forward, I'm not going to mention last night. If I mention it, he'll just remind me that he apologized, and I'll remind him that he's a good for nothing liar. Then there won't be progress anymore, Julia will see us upset, and considering how good she is at being dramatic, she would probably burst into tears.
We're going to avoid making her do that for as long as possible. I like my daughter happy, thank you very much.
"You giving her lessons or something?"
In spite of the ...disagreement, I'm relatively sure that I can answer that without getting him angry at me. The jokes about Julia growing up like her mother seem to be fair game regardless of the situation. She is a little like me, just not as spoiled, and with a kickass dad.
"No, that's genetics. I'll be giving her lessons when you leave. It's better for you not to see me teach her, we don't want you to pick up on any of our tricks."
Better. In the way that's weird, but it's some kind of better. That's really all I care about right now. Oh, maybe I shouldn't have reminded him that he's going to be out the door soon.
Oops.
"... How was slaying?"
Damnit, did he have to ask!? The asking will only make me feel worse. It adds to the tiny bit of guilt that I'm starting to have. I hate my damn conscience. Jiminy Cricket can take his wisdom and shove it.
"It was fine."
And that's all I'm going to say about that unless he brings it up again.
"What time do you have to go?"
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"Right. We can't have that." That would be crazy. Just like getting hit repeatedly with the elephant is. "Okay, that's enough." I took it away from her as gently as I could.
And as soon as I got the big eyes and I knew she was going to start crying, I gave it back. How weak can you get?
I looked over at Carly and rolled my eyes. "Stop laughing at me." I mumbled.
"It was fine."
"Great."
"What time do you have to go?"
I looked over at the clock. "An hour." I'd put my stuff in the closet, just so she wouldn't see it when she came in. I don't know, I thought it'd make her less pissed or something. Might be pointless, whatever.
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Alright, I have an idea. It involves me making Julia stop hitting him, which personally, I think is funny. I doubt I'd be making much of an effort at anything if he wasn't about to go away, but he is, so I am. Things are playing out a little bit differently this time. Neither one of us wants to be angry while apart.
Or, I don't anyway. Who knows what he's thinking.
"Julia!" I let myself smile at the sight of my boyfriend getting wacked with an elephant, and walked over to stand next to him. Reaching over, I took the elephant from Julia. "I'll give it back!" I reassured her, brushing the elephant gently against Sam. "Like that, sweetie. You'll make Elephant sad. Be gentle." I pretended to make the elephant give Sam a kiss on the cheek before I handed it back to her.
"An hour."
"Okay. Just checking."
I can be nice for an hour. I've refrained from calling him names for long periods of time than that in the past.
"What is it with your family and elephants?"
Weird obsession.
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We have to give that elephant a name. Just calling it 'Elephant' seems generic. And I really have no idea why the hell I'm randomly thinking of that, but I am.
... Crap, I'm turning into my sister.
"Okay. Just checking."
Yeah.
Well, at least she doesn't seem like she wants to be pissed anymore. Which is great considering I don't want to leave for a week with her pissed off. I feel a little better about Jake being around here while I'm gone, but not that much.
And even aside from that, I know I'd be calling every five minutes instead of working if she was still pissed. She has that kind of power, which completely isn't freakin' fair at all.
"What is it with your family and elephants?"
"It's just Arianna, actually." I don't even remember what I had... "I think I had an action figure or something when I was six."
I looked back to her. "You know I'm sorry, right?" I'm screwing myself over by saying it, but hey, I have to.
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An action figure. What the hell do you do with one action figure? You can't even let it beat up your other action figures. Damn, no wonder Sam was deprived of love when I met him. It wasn't just a family thing, it was a one action figure, no stuffed animal to love kinda thing too. No wonder we're easy when it comes to spoiling Julia. I was rich and he was loney action figure boy. I think I get it now.
"That's sad Sam. And here I had you pegged as a dinosaur boy."
"You know I'm sorry, right?"
Here we go again. Talking about the wrong thing at the wrong time. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to say it's okay, or just let him know that I know that he's sorry. It's still not okay with me. I have to get Jake to watch Julia while I go scream some sense into Alex, and even if that gets resolved, he still lied to me. I know that a big part of love is forgiveness, but I've forgiven him for a lot of things, just like he's forgiven me for the crazy shit I've done in the past. I just never thought that lying would be an issue for us.
I mean, he started it in highschool and kept going!
No, I'm not going to think about it.
"Yeah, I know." I sighed and kissed him on the cheek. What else could I do? Fight? I don't wanna.
"I love you. I'll get over it."
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"I didn't..." Wait... did I? Why is it childhood seems like a freakin' age ago once you were a parent? It never fails. Now I feel old, and I know I'm not that freakin' old. I need to figure out something I can do with Madsen at some point. Just a reminder that I'm not in a freakin' rest home just yet.
"Wait... Oh yeah..." I grinned. "When I was like... seven." Actually, I think that's how I met Madsen. He tried to steal my brontosaurus and I threw his T-Rex into the toilet.
And we've been best friends ever since.
"I can't believe I forgot about that." That was awesome. I wonder what I did with all my dino crap... Probably got thrown out after I left with everything else I didn't take with me.
I'll have to ask Arianna later.
"Yeah, I know. I love you. I'll get over it."
... I'll buy that, with the knowledge it's a load of crap, and that it's going to come back and haunt me later. Probably as many times as she can work it in without looking too petty.
I swear, if I wasn't abso-freakin'-lutely sure I love her...
"Okay." I nodded, my mind already on trying to figure out how I was going to word wanting to know what happened to my dino crap to my sister and get away with it.
I glanced over at the clock. Forty minutes left. If I take twenty minutes to get to the airport, and pretty much run, I can spend another twenty minutes here.
I'm going to cut it close, I know it.
I wonder if I can blow out something long distance from the plane to slow it down. A little flame should cut it, if I do it just right...
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I knew it. He's too perfectly suited for those things not to have had one. I'm still stuck on the singular use of the word dinosaur, but his childhood wasn't anything like mine. I think we both realized that pretty early on, and Sam liked reminding me of how spoiled I was. He can't even joke about that anymore, our life is as normal as it's ever going to be.
As normal as a pyrokenetic, a slayer, and their daughter, also a pyrokenetic, can get. Which really, is saying something. Not many people can go to the beach during the day and kill evil things at night, but I get to do that. Sometimes I hate it, but I get to do it.
"It's okay, I won't let them put you in a nursing home yet."
I smiled a little more, trying to make the best of it. It was hard not miss his glances at the clock. Either he couldn't wait to get away from me or...that was pretty much it. Sam can't wait to get away from me because he lied and I couldn't handle it.
It makes sense for him to want out temporarily. Hell, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted out for good. Damn skinny whores, it's too much temptation for him right now.
I bet they'll be all over him. And I won't be there to kick their skinny asses!
"You seem like you're ready to get out of here."
That was a little harsh, even for me.
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"Ha. Freakin'. Ha." Just because I randomly forgot about the thing I was obsessed over when I was a kid... However inhumanly geeky that it was...
... I wasn't the only kid into them, leave me alone. Plus, now that I think about it, I can remember some girls being into them. Sure, they were scary and had at least a foot on most of the guys at the time, but that's not the point here.
"You seem like you're ready to get out of here."
"What?" I looked over at her. "No, I'm just making sure I don't miss the flight." And she's going to misinterpret that, isn't she. "It'd be a pain in the ass to pick up the next one, and..." I'm giving up.
"Look, it doesn't matter. I can even stay longer and catch the next flight."
Why am I trying to save myself when there's no freakin' point?
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And he's anxious to get away from me. Sam doesn't have to say it, I'd just like him to be perfectly clear on the fact that I know what's going on. He should know by now that I'm not stupid, I tend to catch on to the way that he acts and the things that he does, even if I don't know the reasoning behind it. The reasons don't matter all that much in the big picture. The point is that he's leaving soon, hopefully he'll be back in a week, and then I can beat the shit out of Madsen.
I wouldn't do that while Sam's not around, it's unfair, even for me. Going after him with Sam in the room is almost like giving Madsen a head start to run before I kill him. I can't promise much, but if I avoid them for the week, I can promise a little less blood than Sam would come home to if I faced him on my own.
Anyone who calls me an inconsiderate girlfriend is a big fat liar.
"Look, it doesn't matter. I can even stay longer and catch the next flight."
I love it when he tries. Sam can't take a later flight or he'll get in trouble with the whores' managers, but he put the offer out there. It would be hilarious to see what he would do if I took him up on that, but the whole point of talking to him was to get along, not to start another mini-fight.
Although last night? Not so mini by any standards. But damnit, if he's trying, that means I have to try to.
"You know you can't do that."
I sighed again, this time for reasons of sheer discontentment, and turned to Sam, comfortably sliding my arms around him. I think it bugs him sometimes, because usually I do this when I realize what a mess I am to deal with, and he always knows exactly which wheels are turning in my head. This time it's the ones that, lucky for him, remind me that no one else would ever put up with half of the shit he deals with because he dared to take me on as his girlfriend again.
I'm a little...complicated.
"You have to go do your job. Right now I thinking that the sooner you leave, the sooner you'll come home."
Or not. He could find someone better.
That stupid, illogical, recurring thought depressed me again. I lowered my head to rest it against his shoulder for a brief moment. It made me feel a little better at first, and then a little worse when I figured out that I was saying goodbye sooner than I needed to, but it was necessary. A good girlfriend is supposed to be affectionate.
I think. There's one subject I'll never be an expert on.
Then Julia decided that she wasn't getting enough attention and threw her elephant at us.
She's just like me on the bad days.
"Okay, I get it! I'll leave you alone with your Daddy for a few minutes."
Giving Sam one quick kiss, I let go. The last thing I wanted to be stuck with while I was Sam-less was a moody baby. It was best to let her be the center of attention for a few minutes and find the earplugs for later.
"Let me know if you need a ride to the airport."
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Well yeah, I can't, but screwing up something on the plane to slow them down is seeming like a really good idea right now. I'd just have to make sure I didn't hit any feul lines.
"You have to go do your job. Right now I'm thinking that the sooner you leave, the sooner you'll come home."
"True." She still doesn't want me to go though. And she still thinks I'm going to leave her, despite what I said.
I really hate that.
And there goes the flying elephant again. That thing takes so much freakin' abuse.
"Okay, I get it! I'll leave you alone with your Daddy for a few minutes."
I grinned and picked up the elephant. "I thought you liked this one?" I gave it back to Julia, funny how she always looks like Carly when she's pleased with herself. Unnerving too, but I think that goes without saying.
"Let me know if you need a ride to the airport."
... Now's a bad time to mention I called a cab in advance, isn't it. Crap... I knew that was a bad idea, but I figured she'd want the car for a week, and driving me... I somehow don't see that ending well.
"I'm all set actually..."
I watched her walk out, and winced a little. Okay Sammy, say goodbye to your daughter, the locks just might be changed when you get back.
I looked back at Julia. "Okay." I picked her up. "Daddy's going to be gone for one week. One week. And while I'm gone, you're going to be nice to Mommy, okay?"
She's giggling like crazy already, that's kind of a bad omen.
I put her back in her crib after playing with her for a few minutes, heading into the bedroom and grabbing my stuff. I shouldered my carry on bag, and looked at Carly as I came out of the room.
I've got a little time before the cab gets here.
"So did you call Jake yet?"
There's a road I want to go down.
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He didn't tell me he was all set. So much for trying. It's a relief that I'm not going to have to waste my time at the airport. Julia would get cranky from the ride, and I'd feel worse about everything. Sam was probably thinking about that when he got "set", but I still could have taken him. I have the hot car. Sam has the Daddy ride, and I have the hot car. I would have taken him to the airport in the hot car. He could have looked like he was important.
Maybe his little photographer I.D. thingy makes him feel important enough all on his own. How wonderful for him.
"So did you call Jake yet?"
Wouldn't he like to know?
I think I actually have to answer that now that I'm playing nice. If I wanted to keep up the fight, I could have said that it didn't matter, or that it was none of his business. It's really not his business anyway. Nothing is going to happen with Jake here. We'll spend a little more time together than we usually do now, but the time will be spent talking and joking around. Sam seems to think that I'm going to take a trip down memory lane and have sex with Jake on his bed. I'm in love, and Jake's been over it for years.
My boyfriend, God love him, is a dumbass.
"He'll be over in a little while."
There, I'm answering without actually answering. It's still a decent response, just without saying if I did or didn't.
I'm not that well behaved.
"We've had it worked out."
Or maybe I am. I surprise me sometimes.
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For what? A 'get drunk because Sam's away' party? And why am I leaving again? The mental pictures all came back, and I didn't want them to freakin' be back. I wanted to leave with a clear head, not worried that I was going to lose my family thanks to freakin' Jake.
Why am I leaving?
Because I'm supposed to trust her. And because I wanted to do this, and if I don't leave, I'll never hear the end of it. Freakin'... ever.
"Good."
"We've had it worked out."
I'm not sure exactly how she means that, but I can come up with a thousand theories. I don't like the first nine hundered and ninety nine, and the thousandth is the one where I feel like a jackass for not trusting her.
Damn it.
I nodded. "Alright."
And here's the awkward silence. I don't need this. "Are you sure you want me to go? I mean... I'll come back still, but I can stay if you want." She can't blame me for this. She knows I fill awkward silence with dumb crap that I shouldn't say.
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We've been over this, by now, we've probably been over it two or three times. I think he's just doing it to piss me off now. Either that, or he's really desperate to leave with the two of us on good terms. And I know, I said I would try, I did a good job of "trying" and now we seem to be getting along. Sam's just making it worse with all of his "I can stay" comments. Of course I want him to stay. If I thought we could get away with it, I'd tell him to cancel the whole thing and take the week off.
But he'd get fired, blame it on me, and badness would follow.
"Sam..."
Don't be stupid. Stop trying to make me happy, you can't this time. Trust me a little more than this, I think I've earned it. And....
I don't know what I'm supposed to say here.
"It's just a week. Nothing is going to change around here."
But since I can't say the same for you, I'm keeping my mouth shut on that subject. Have too much fun with the skinny whores, and I'm likely to break your kneecaps.
"I won't let anything change."
You better not let it change either. Or the kneecaps thing.
Seriously.
You'd have it coming, and not even God could save you from my wrath in that case.
"We'll be fine."
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That's the 'stop being such a moron' voice. "I know. I was just offering." I think I was doing the nice guy thing personally, but obviously that's just me.
"It's just a week. Nothing is going to change around here."
Didn't I just say something like that not too long ago? It feels real great to have a variation on your own words thrown back at you. And I know nothing's going to change... it's just... I'm paranoid.
Okay, maybe I do have a decent idea about how Carly feels over the whole thing after all, but that doesn't change that it's more likely for her to cheat than it is me.
And she's probably thinking the exact same thing. Just the other way around.
"I won't let anything change. We'll be fine."
"I know." I sighed, and saw the cab pulling up. "I'm leaving my car here, since it's easier to put a carseat in there. I'll see you when I get back, okay?" I kissed her, trying to leave behind something memorable while freakin' Jake's around.
"Call me if anything happens." I paused. "... Call me anyway." Please? "I love you." I headed out, and half way down the stairs, almost went back.
Come on Howell, out the door. Don't think the bad thoughts, the negative crap, all that. Think of how everything's going to be okay when you get back. Trust Carly.
... Keep walking, don't stop. Walk...
In the cab. Don't look back, not nescecary. In the freakin' cab. Okay. You're in. Don't tell the guy to stop. Keep your mouth closed.
And call her as soon as you get to a phone.
Great.
I can do this.
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Geez, why is it that he typically won't kiss me like that unless he's halfway out the door? He's a good kisser regardless, but that just packed some serious punch. I'd make a comment about him getting his girlfriend turned on and leaving her with her ex boyfriend, but I don't think I'd be able to kick his ass out the door after a comment like that. He'd assume that I was ready to throw myself at Jake, and automatically decide that photography is just not for him. Even I know that it would be unfair to let that happen, so I'm keeping my mouth shut.
Besides, it would kill the moment.
"Call me if anything happens... Call me anyway."
"I will."
Oh I'll call him. I'll look it up on the internet and see what the time difference is, and then I'll call him every night to make sure that he's by himself. It's not that I don't trust Sam, because I do. I just don't trust the skanky ass skinny whores who he's going to be spending his time with. The ones who think "girlfriend" means "single with a sex toy".
I smiled and gave him a kiss, making sure that it wasn't any better than usual. After all, I'm not that stupid.
"I love you."
"I know. I love you too."
I just don't think you should leave me. This is going to suck, no matter who's around to cheer me up. I haven't been Sam-less for more than twenty for hours in over two years.
Who is going to roll their eyes at me when I get irrational?
What am I supposed to do now?
And why is he walking so fast?! He seems really anxious to...
Not gonna start. Just know that I could. If I really wanted to.
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