(no subject)
Alright, so I wanted to talk to someone else who felt as crappy over something as I do right now. I don't want to talk to Natasha about it. Thanks to Dan, Arianna's in a good place. And Madsen's still in the hospital with a broken leg. Alex seemed like the best choice.
Plus I wanted to see how she was doing since everything with Carly. And I wanted to know if she was still seeing Madsen. If it's working for them, I think it's good. As long as this doesn't turn out to be another Daphne thing, it's fine. I don't care if Carly doesn't agree with me or not. She sort of went ahead and made that not my problem.
I still can't believe her. I just... I can't. I don't get it. Maybe somehow, in all this, there was a point. Maybe it made sense to her, what she was doing. But it doesn't seem like it to me.
I did find out what I wanted to know from Natasha though. The pictures were a scare tactic. She'd gotten kidnapped, she managed to escape, and once she finally found me, I was gone. She swears up and down that she doesn't blame me, but I still feel like a jackass for leaving her like that. I probably could have fought. I might have died anyway, but I could have tried.
This still ends up feeling like some freakin' soap opera every time I think about it too much. I hate it. I just want to be back with my girlfriend and my daughter. I miss Julia already.
The weird part is, even though this happened, I'm not paranoid about Jake. For some reason, it takes Carly telling me to leave for me to trust the guy at least a little. I don't think he's going to do anything. I'll have to actually apologize to him for being such an asshole, without anything attached to it this time.
Amazing what stuff like this brings about, isn't it?
But for right now, Alex. If she didn't get my message, there'll be yet another person I look like a jackass too.
I walked to her apartment door, and knocked twice, waiting for her to open up. I wonder if someone's told her already. I'm not sure how I'm going to say it.
Besides, this is more about a mutual 'life is crap' thing. It's not entirely about me.
Plus I wanted to see how she was doing since everything with Carly. And I wanted to know if she was still seeing Madsen. If it's working for them, I think it's good. As long as this doesn't turn out to be another Daphne thing, it's fine. I don't care if Carly doesn't agree with me or not. She sort of went ahead and made that not my problem.
I still can't believe her. I just... I can't. I don't get it. Maybe somehow, in all this, there was a point. Maybe it made sense to her, what she was doing. But it doesn't seem like it to me.
I did find out what I wanted to know from Natasha though. The pictures were a scare tactic. She'd gotten kidnapped, she managed to escape, and once she finally found me, I was gone. She swears up and down that she doesn't blame me, but I still feel like a jackass for leaving her like that. I probably could have fought. I might have died anyway, but I could have tried.
This still ends up feeling like some freakin' soap opera every time I think about it too much. I hate it. I just want to be back with my girlfriend and my daughter. I miss Julia already.
The weird part is, even though this happened, I'm not paranoid about Jake. For some reason, it takes Carly telling me to leave for me to trust the guy at least a little. I don't think he's going to do anything. I'll have to actually apologize to him for being such an asshole, without anything attached to it this time.
Amazing what stuff like this brings about, isn't it?
But for right now, Alex. If she didn't get my message, there'll be yet another person I look like a jackass too.
I walked to her apartment door, and knocked twice, waiting for her to open up. I wonder if someone's told her already. I'm not sure how I'm going to say it.
Besides, this is more about a mutual 'life is crap' thing. It's not entirely about me.