(no subject)
[ Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
George Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either
with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
John Kerry's Answer:
While serving in Vietnam, I was in favor of the chicken crossing the
road. Then later I realized that there were those who needed the chicken on
this side of the road. Now I would like to see the chicken on the other side of
the road, unless of course it would be better served to be on this side of
the road. Ideally, I think the chicken should be in the middle of the road.
Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2004, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -
and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing
order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
Dr. Seuss' Answer:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
Martin Luther King Jr.'s Answer:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
Grandpa's Answer:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Barbara Walters' Answer:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken
tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced
a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream
of crossing the road.
Ralph Nader's Answer:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
of a gas-guzzling SUV.
Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to
ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the
place anyway?"
Pat Buchanan's Answer:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Jerry Falwell's Answer:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side."
Aristotle's Answer:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Captain Kirk's Answer:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Bill Clinton's Answer:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
Albert Einstein's Answer:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
Sigmund Freud's Answer:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
L.A.P.D.'s Answer:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not
cross the road.
Buddha's Answer:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
Joseph Stalin's Answer:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.
Louis Farrakhan's Answer:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
The Pope's Answer:
That is only for God to know.
Emily Dickenson's Answer:
Because it could not stop for death.
O.J. Simpson's Answer:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time
read it. you will not be sorry. i promise.