(no subject)
This week I have been in total bad mood mode. Nothing has worked out, everything sucks. Yes I am serious, everything this week has sucked. That certain boy and I were pretty close on Monday and after Monday it all went downhill from there. He doesn't seem interested in talking to me anymore, he no longer instant messages me first, no longer text messages me, he didn't even hug me today like he usually does so that was cool I guess. I know where this is going...NOWHERE! Just like everything else. Absolutely nowhere. There was something now theres nothing, I hate boys I am so through with them. All they do is sit there and look cute and confuse you. This world is full of idiots! IDIOTS! Finding Neverland came out today and I know I already saw it but I've never missed a Johnny opening night...but I did tonight which is totally horrible and I feel like a failure. My dancing is also suffering like no other. I feel like I am full of hatred. Becky fell asleep, now shes still sleeping. LAME. What a pants. I spent all my money yesterday in a photobooth with Corey and Chaz which was worth it but now I miss my money. I am one broke motha. Hopefully next week everything is back to normal, if not I will eat a lot of chocolate. Cole is coming to our competition next weekend so that will keep me in a good mood for sure, he's the coolest. Only negative thing about him coming to watch is the fact that all of us will look like men wearing fake eyelashes with our hair back and our dance costumes on, but you know looks aren't that important! He is probably one of the few guys I can actually stand at the moment. Every other one is ruining my life and my mood as well as lowering my self esteem. Yeah, thats right you bitches, lowering MY self esteem. As if it wasn't low enough already. Honestly. I just wish something could go my way for once, just once...but nothing ever does. I'll never find someone who cares about me as much as I care about them. I just wish that could happen to me one time, but no everyone always ends up fucking me over and breaking my heart. I must have a problem. Maybe it's my braces. Who knows, all I know is that I suck. My mom made me drink a red bull today which was NASTY. Might I add that it was sugar free so thats just topped it all off. I didn't get much energy from it either which is another clue that there is something wrong with me. FUCKER I AM SO NEGATIVE RIGHT NOW. I hate being negative. I'm usually a happy camper, it's true. Maybe if this boy would act like he was with me for the past month and a half I would be happy as I have been. Boys are so oblivious to the fact that we have feelings. I'm tired of hurting and I'm tired of moping around alone. =( I just wish he'd come back around.