(no subject)

Oct 08, 2005 23:21

good news:

things with alex are better. much better. i feel better. mm.

bad news:

i'm pretty much fucked for science now. i have to decide all over again if i wanna stick with science fair or do the olympiad.

good news:

mrudula loves me. :-)

bad news:

leiloma's kinda angry at me for some reason, but oh well, because i'm pretty damn angry at her right now.

goddammit, i can't believe they fucked me over like this.

there's already drama, and i just got my topics approved yesterday.

angst is my middle name.

and yet, i believe i have a reason to be angsty. i don't think all of it is completely useless angst.

i'm tired.

since i was so upset last night that i just didn't want to go to bed...i don't know why...i just didn't like the idea of sleeping in my bed.

so i went downstairs and watched a single family guy episode (thinking i would through the entire disc), and i fell asleep.

and i was gonna stay down there. but i was sweating like hell and i don't know why.

so i came upstairs. didn't change. didn't do anything. just collapsed on my bed.

that was at 4.

i woke up at noon. just didn't feel like getting out of bed.

i was sleeping on and off until 2:30. it was easy since it was so dark because of the rain. i just really didn't wanna get up and face the world. have you ever felt that way?

finally, my mom came and got me out of bed, and....and then i started feeling better...and then she started talking about it again, and i got so angry, i actually started yelling. i was yelling and screaming. it was so weird, it seemed so loud.

i scared myself.

i was screaming at my mother. not really at her. but....ugh. it was insane.

but i didn't fall apart like i usually do.

just filled with self loathing. you know. the usual.

hahahahha, emoest thing ever.

anyway.

i've only had a bowl of chili today.

i'm hungry.

but....meh. tired too.

i dunno what i'm doing tomorrow.

i'm supposedly going to richard's party, but i really don't know if i want to. but then i'm fucking over laura dicker, and i have just been fucked over tonight, so i dont' want to fuck anyone else over.

so tomorrow will be interesting.

monday will be homework day. not that bad, though...i think...

and then tuesday is season 2 of arrested development. *dies of happy*

and this is another really long, really useless post.

oh, the good old days.

goodnight.
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