Oct 08, 2005 23:21
good news:
things with alex are better. much better. i feel better. mm.
bad news:
i'm pretty much fucked for science now. i have to decide all over again if i wanna stick with science fair or do the olympiad.
good news:
mrudula loves me. :-)
bad news:
leiloma's kinda angry at me for some reason, but oh well, because i'm pretty damn angry at her right now.
goddammit, i can't believe they fucked me over like this.
there's already drama, and i just got my topics approved yesterday.
angst is my middle name.
and yet, i believe i have a reason to be angsty. i don't think all of it is completely useless angst.
i'm tired.
since i was so upset last night that i just didn't want to go to bed...i don't know why...i just didn't like the idea of sleeping in my bed.
so i went downstairs and watched a single family guy episode (thinking i would through the entire disc), and i fell asleep.
and i was gonna stay down there. but i was sweating like hell and i don't know why.
so i came upstairs. didn't change. didn't do anything. just collapsed on my bed.
that was at 4.
i woke up at noon. just didn't feel like getting out of bed.
i was sleeping on and off until 2:30. it was easy since it was so dark because of the rain. i just really didn't wanna get up and face the world. have you ever felt that way?
finally, my mom came and got me out of bed, and....and then i started feeling better...and then she started talking about it again, and i got so angry, i actually started yelling. i was yelling and screaming. it was so weird, it seemed so loud.
i scared myself.
i was screaming at my mother. not really at her. but....ugh. it was insane.
but i didn't fall apart like i usually do.
just filled with self loathing. you know. the usual.
hahahahha, emoest thing ever.
anyway.
i've only had a bowl of chili today.
i'm hungry.
but....meh. tired too.
i dunno what i'm doing tomorrow.
i'm supposedly going to richard's party, but i really don't know if i want to. but then i'm fucking over laura dicker, and i have just been fucked over tonight, so i dont' want to fuck anyone else over.
so tomorrow will be interesting.
monday will be homework day. not that bad, though...i think...
and then tuesday is season 2 of arrested development. *dies of happy*
and this is another really long, really useless post.
oh, the good old days.
goodnight.