(no subject)
i really don't think my mom likes me doing tech work.
because she's always saying how i need to pace myself because i don't want them "relying" on me or something and she's talking about other people who might wanna be stage managers.
but i really love doing it. i know i'll bitch and complain during a rehersal week, but i really love it. 9th grade was a sad year for me for so many reasons, but one of the reasons was because i had nothing exciting to do. i had quit band and i missed the feeling i got with that. all the friends i made. how nervous i would get before a performance. convincing lizz that she'd do fine because she was much better than me. hahahah.
and i lost that. and i missed that.
and now i have it back in my life again.
all the awesome people i've met. all the nerves before an opening night. trying to chill people out. hahaha.
my life doesn't just revolve around school. it gives my life more of a purpose. i'm not doing everything just to get good grades and go to college and such. i'm doing stuff because it's fun and it's hard work and i love the feeling of accomplishment and pride after a show has wrapped up.
i hate working hard for school because i've been doing it so long and i feel as though it hasn't gotten me anywhere.
doing well has become a constant in my life. it's expected to be a constant in my life. so when i get some sort of...academic award, it doesn't even phase me.
but theater...it's still new to me. the exictement is still there. the pride is still there.
maybe i would be more proud of school if i did work harder. i'm sure that's why i'm so proud of all of my shows. because i have worked harder at this than i have at anything else in my entire life.
and the thought of my own mother wanting me to back off a little bit....i just don't like it.
it's nice to have such a passion like this.
i don't remember a time when i had such a strong passion for anything else. a truly strong passion.
...i'm a loser...
i just wonder how many of you understand how i feel about it....
anyways...i'm not sure what started this except for a few comments from my mother.
and wanting people to realize that i'm deeper than just sarcastic remarks and jokes. i suppose.
i don't even knowww.
anyways, went to marley's this afternoon for a great gathering of the disney club.
2 new members. we're expanding. semi-rapidly.
it was much fun and i remembered how much i missed these kids.
anyhoo...
maybe tomorrow i'll go get those cds.
and that damn book. grrrr.
i'm tired.
okay. i'm done now.
have a nice day/night.
because she's always saying how i need to pace myself because i don't want them "relying" on me or something and she's talking about other people who might wanna be stage managers.
but i really love doing it. i know i'll bitch and complain during a rehersal week, but i really love it. 9th grade was a sad year for me for so many reasons, but one of the reasons was because i had nothing exciting to do. i had quit band and i missed the feeling i got with that. all the friends i made. how nervous i would get before a performance. convincing lizz that she'd do fine because she was much better than me. hahahah.
and i lost that. and i missed that.
and now i have it back in my life again.
all the awesome people i've met. all the nerves before an opening night. trying to chill people out. hahaha.
my life doesn't just revolve around school. it gives my life more of a purpose. i'm not doing everything just to get good grades and go to college and such. i'm doing stuff because it's fun and it's hard work and i love the feeling of accomplishment and pride after a show has wrapped up.
i hate working hard for school because i've been doing it so long and i feel as though it hasn't gotten me anywhere.
doing well has become a constant in my life. it's expected to be a constant in my life. so when i get some sort of...academic award, it doesn't even phase me.
but theater...it's still new to me. the exictement is still there. the pride is still there.
maybe i would be more proud of school if i did work harder. i'm sure that's why i'm so proud of all of my shows. because i have worked harder at this than i have at anything else in my entire life.
and the thought of my own mother wanting me to back off a little bit....i just don't like it.
it's nice to have such a passion like this.
i don't remember a time when i had such a strong passion for anything else. a truly strong passion.
...i'm a loser...
i just wonder how many of you understand how i feel about it....
anyways...i'm not sure what started this except for a few comments from my mother.
and wanting people to realize that i'm deeper than just sarcastic remarks and jokes. i suppose.
i don't even knowww.
anyways, went to marley's this afternoon for a great gathering of the disney club.
2 new members. we're expanding. semi-rapidly.
it was much fun and i remembered how much i missed these kids.
anyhoo...
maybe tomorrow i'll go get those cds.
and that damn book. grrrr.
i'm tired.
okay. i'm done now.
have a nice day/night.