new
so i want to try new things.
i'm kind of bored lately.
theres two main things i've really been looking at:
1.) i might join something musically.
i took piano lessons for two years and i took choir for basically 10 years.
i might talk to jordan about that. he started this guitar/keyboard/vox project with paige but shes not super reliable. so hes effed in the a.
i'm pretty reliable and we get along amazing and have similar thinking patterns.
i hope we can start something if i start piano back up. too bad my vocals are shot from smoking. seriously. what the hell.
2.) i've been thinking about this one for almost half a year. i'm not really a faithful person.
never have been. i always expect the worst.. its usually what i get.
everyday i'm constantly searching for someone to hold onto.
i have AMAZING friends. but i don't exactly feel like i have someone to depend on.
i don't really have that many people to talk to now that i think about it,
since i keep everything inside and all.
but lately i've been thinking maybe i should join a religion.
i've been an atheist all my life. but it was mostly because my mother brought me up to be negative and shallow to people.
(i'm not saying atheists are negative and shallow. my mother just didn't want me to have faith in anyone or even god really so i became that way.)
also because i was raised in a catholic/lutheran household.
but maybe because i'm such an introverted person i should have someone that will listen even when i'm not speaking.
the last time i prayed to god was when me and mike broke up.
i knew he was hurting himself and i used to pray, begging for god to watch out for him.
he didn't exactly answer my prayers. and i guess that why i have such a hard time believing in god.
people are going to do what they're going to do. the world is what it is.
i see things at face value alot. nothing more. nobody has potential to me.
but maybe if i TRY to have faith in something... anything... it will start to happen and make my life more positive.
its going to be very hard for me, another reason i don't believe is because it doesn't come natural.
but maybe it will be good because i'm always trying to protect myself from people.
but how can someone like that hurt me?
but if i work at it maybe something good will come?
i'm kind of bored lately.
theres two main things i've really been looking at:
1.) i might join something musically.
i took piano lessons for two years and i took choir for basically 10 years.
i might talk to jordan about that. he started this guitar/keyboard/vox project with paige but shes not super reliable. so hes effed in the a.
i'm pretty reliable and we get along amazing and have similar thinking patterns.
i hope we can start something if i start piano back up. too bad my vocals are shot from smoking. seriously. what the hell.
2.) i've been thinking about this one for almost half a year. i'm not really a faithful person.
never have been. i always expect the worst.. its usually what i get.
everyday i'm constantly searching for someone to hold onto.
i have AMAZING friends. but i don't exactly feel like i have someone to depend on.
i don't really have that many people to talk to now that i think about it,
since i keep everything inside and all.
but lately i've been thinking maybe i should join a religion.
i've been an atheist all my life. but it was mostly because my mother brought me up to be negative and shallow to people.
(i'm not saying atheists are negative and shallow. my mother just didn't want me to have faith in anyone or even god really so i became that way.)
also because i was raised in a catholic/lutheran household.
but maybe because i'm such an introverted person i should have someone that will listen even when i'm not speaking.
the last time i prayed to god was when me and mike broke up.
i knew he was hurting himself and i used to pray, begging for god to watch out for him.
he didn't exactly answer my prayers. and i guess that why i have such a hard time believing in god.
people are going to do what they're going to do. the world is what it is.
i see things at face value alot. nothing more. nobody has potential to me.
but maybe if i TRY to have faith in something... anything... it will start to happen and make my life more positive.
its going to be very hard for me, another reason i don't believe is because it doesn't come natural.
but maybe it will be good because i'm always trying to protect myself from people.
but how can someone like that hurt me?
but if i work at it maybe something good will come?