ha the truth is being spoken
50 things GIRLS wish GUYS knew--
01. If we’re having sex and you try to shove ANYTHING up my ass, be prepared for me to laugh in your face and pull my pants back up.
02. Take your own advice and shave YOUR shit...if we have to get razor burn, so do you.
03. If you want to settle for a "fat, ugly blow job," fine. But we expect to YOU to be toned and attractive...or we’re not going ANYWHERE.
04. If you want sex at all, be prepared to spoon afterward. (P.S., "spooning" does not refer to you slipping it in while we are lying on our side.)
05. Be gentle with me...and we’re not talking about my emotions. Violently rubbing the crotch of my jeans isn’t gonna get me off. Period.
06. YES, the boobs are attached and no matter how hard you pull they aren’t coming off. So please, stop trying.
07. If you insist on spending hours playing video games, you better put at least as much time in using your new found finger coordination on me.
08. The conversations we have with our girlfriends, are probably ten times kinkier then the ones you have with your guy friends. Trust us.
09. When I playfully giggle and say "stop it," what I really mean is "I’m about to slap your dumb ass if you don’t quit it RIGHT NOW."
10. Clits aren’t buttons to be poked and prodded..moron.
11. Multiple orgasms are not a myth.
12. For God’s sake learn where the G spot is..really, its not hard, and we’ll love you for it
13. If you want to watch porn, bring it. We’re down.
14. Boxer briefs are hot, and boxers work too..but if you wear tighty-whities we’ll probably think you’re gay.
15. Under no circumstances will we have a threesome..but don’t put it past us to make out with our best girl friends, especially when alcohol is involved.
16. The ability to play guitar will help you get laid.
17. Playing a varsity sport will also help you get laid..football and baseball in particular. We like seeing you do manly things.
18. Yes, we are lying. We DO masturbate, but that doesn’t entitle you to watch..and p.s. ~ you’ll never be as good as my vibrator.
19. Once again, seriously shave your shit.
20. If I start to go down on you and immediately start kissing your inner thigh, its probably because you have ball wreak/swamp ass.
21. Please take the time to properly wipe your ass..dingleberries = no sex for you.
22. By the way, if we’re having sex and it "accidentally slips into the wrong orifice"..We’ll shit on you. (Don’t think its never been done.)
23. Foreplay is a PREREQUISITE. (Two minutes of boob squeezing and a quick crotch rub just doesn’t cut it.)
24. Yes, size matters.
25. Bite my nipples only as hard as you’d like me to bite your balls.
26. Yes, girls poop. That hole back there was not made for you.
27. If you insist on raising your vehicle on a lift kit, and blaring your system wherever you go, we’ll probably assume you’re compensating for a small dick.
28. Yes, sometimes we like it slow, but sometimes we just need a good fucking.
29. Don’t screw us over. Especially if we have a brother or protective guy friends. They will hunt you down and kill you.
30. Justin Timberlake will always be hotter then you. Deal with it.
31. One word when it comes to smoking..quit. (No one likes to kiss an ash tray.)
32. Just cause we call you when we’re drunk doesn’t mean we like you. We just need to get some ass.
33. Girls’ night out means girls’ night out. Calling our cell phones every ten minutes and trying to meet up with us later are not acceptable.
34. If we cheat on you, and you don’t find out, that doesn’t count either.
35. Don’t think we’re impressed because you can drink a case of beer all by yourself..beer guts just aren’t attractive.
36. Ok, yes. We fake it, that’s not our fault, it’s yours. Learn how to use that thing.
37. 90% of the time we say we’re on our period, we’re lying, we just don’t want to have sex with your nasty ass.
38. Don’t ever ask me to call you "Daddy."
39. We reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends.
40. When you know I’m not on birth control, for Christ’s sake, KEEP THE CONDOM ON.
41. If we exchange numbers, don’t expect me to call you first. It just isn’t gonna happen.
42. We need our space, stopping over unexpectedly more then once a week is frightening and stalker-ish.
43. Having sex with us when we’re too drunk to remember is considered RAPE you asshole. If you wouldn’t want someone doing that to your little sister, don’t do it to me.
44. Adjust yourself in public only if you’d like us to think you have some sort of itchy VD.
45. Hygiene is important: please shower on a daily basis.
46. Wanna know what its like to kiss a guy with a mustache? Try shoving the bristle end of a wet toothbrush up your nose.
47. Back hair is probably one of the biggest turn offs, next to a pimply ass.
48. If you’ve forgotten about 2 or 19, then once again..SHAVE YOUR SHIT.
49. A few words on beads: 1.) if you think I’m showing you my tits for a 10 cent string of beads, you’re out of your f’n mind. 2.) If your girlfriend is kinky enough to let you use anal beads, please don’t rip them out of her ass like you’re revving a lawn mower. {haha got a visual ?}
50. And Finally, for all you sweet, wonderful guys in commitment mode: two carats will do, but four will do more.
omg i cant stop laughing. i bolded the ones i think are true.