When you're away and Im missing you to death...
I had a pretty good day, except Adele and I fought in the beginning, and my life was ruined by Michael Joseph Calandra in the end. Adele and I are "on good terms" now I guess, but were still on this first name basis thing, I dunno I don't like calling her "Mom" anymore and she doesn't like calling me "Emmy", I think its perfectly normal but whatever...
So about Mike..
let me just make it simple, hmm he's lied to me for like the past year, and I think its quite possible that I was the only one that didn't know. God I swear I will never like that kid as more than a friend ever again. He lied to me soo much and still does, for instance.
Mike Yesterday: "Emily, you're deffinitley the hottest girl in our grade I still love you no matter what."
Me: "Noo so many girls are mad prettier than me"
Mike Yesterday: "Noooooooooooooo"
Mike Today: "Rachel, you're deffinitley the hottest girl in our grade"
Rachel: "Noo Emily and Claire and others are deffinitley prettier than me"
Mike Today: "Nooooooooooo"
Do you understand why that would set me off a little bit..and then to top it off I was like hha Mike Im right here Im at Rachels and didnt you say those exact same words to me yesterday and he goes whoops, and then we were pretending I left the room and he was like I dont like her anymore things change...He has chnaged girls 3 times in the past 4 days, I think its stupid. But now he likes Rachel and I guess they love making me jealous or somehting, because I still had a few feelings for Mike, but after finding out that he lied to me and used me and didnt really like me at all..my heart was crushed..becuase honestly, I didnt think it was possible for me, Emily Elise Cloutier, the girl that doesnt believe in love, to give my trust to anyone..but apparently I was fooling myself becuase I obviously gave it to him..and out of all the guys it could have been, it had to be Mike Calandra. And he still wants us to be friends and all..I think its bullshit, I should have broken stayed broken up with him in 7th grade..it could have caused me a lot less pain. And god it's just what I needed right now too with all this shit going on with my mom...god I wanna fucking slit myself right now...Thnak you oh-so-very-much, Michael Joseph Calandra. Rachel Elizabeth Eckler is a fucking pineapple also.
So now I think Ill do another one of those gay survey things to take my mind off of things. Shoot me.
[x] Name: Emily Cloutier
[x] Birthdate: June 20, 1991
[x] Birthplace: Buffalo, New York
[x] Current Location: East Amherst, New York
[x] Eye Color: Blue/Green
[x] Hair Color: Black
[x] Righty or Lefty: righty
[x] Zodiac Sign: Gemini
[x] Innie or Outtie: innie..?
-----------------DESCRIBE------------------
[x] The shoes you wore today: silver and white etnies, and field hockey cleats..oh so sweet
[x] Your eyes: I dunno, people tell me theyre really pretty so umm pretty I guess?
[x] Your fears: mm a lot of things like SPIDERS and THE DARK! haha
-----------------WHAT IS------------------
[x] Your most overused phrase on aim: sick
[x] Your thoughts first waking up: i want to go back to sleep
[x] The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: i dont know what is with that...i guess the facial features...
[x] Your best physical feature: mm if someone knows they should tell me but for now I guess we'll say...my heavily eyelinered eyes
[x] Your bedtime: whenever I want it to be
[x] Your most missed memory: the whole 7th grade including the summer :(
-----------------YOU PREFER------------------
[x] Pepsi or coke: pepsi
[x] McDonald's or Burger King: I like both? god i hate this pick and chose shit...whatever, Ive been in a McDonalds mood lately
[x] Single or group dates: I like both, depends what you feel like..group is a lot of funn though.
[x] Adidas or Nike: adidas
[x] Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
[x] Cappuccino or coffee: cappuccino ((French Vanilla))
-----------------DO YOU------------------
[x] Smoke: ...I have before...
[x] Cuss: yes, like every other word lol...haha and what the hell kind of word is cuss..woo i love the weirdos that make this shit up.
[x] Take a shower everyday: either that or every other...no longer
[x] Have a crush(es): yes most definently..
[x] Want to go to college: mmhm why not
[x] Like high school: not there yet...i have another gay year at Transit..but Herzbrun left, so I guess the year's going to be a depressing one :)
[x] Want to get married: yes, of course
[x] Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: mm sure..?
[x] Believe in yourself: hha yeah thats me... jp
[x] Get motion sickness: nah..sometimes if i read in the car..but not usually..
[x] Think you're a health freak: psh oh ya im soo healthy..i eat fast food all the time and i sit in front of the computer all day..im a total health whiz...
[x] Get along with your parents: hahaa no
[x] Like thunderstorms: mmhm i dont know why though
[x] Play an instrument: ORGAN IN MY BANDD OKLAHOMA BOMBSHELLS! hahha
------------IN THE PAST MONTH DID:/:HAVE YOU--------------
[x] Gone to the mall: yeah
[x] Eaten sushi: hha nah cant say I have
[x] Been on stage: nope
[x] Been dumped: it was a mutual breakup..
[x] Gone skating: no. i only wish i was that cool
[x] Made homemade cookies: nah sorry
[x] Dyed your hair: haha yes of course
[x] Stolen anything: deannas sweatshirt and rachels tanktop[s] hehe
-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
[x] Flown on a plane: yep, numerous times.
[x] Missed school because it was raining?: no, how gay is that
[x] Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: psh yeah im a total dumbass who waits for them to guess..oh wait thats 3rd graders
[x] Cried during a Movie?: yeea..
[x] Ever thought an animated character was hot?: no, i stick to the real thing thank you very much.
[x] Had an imaginary friend: yes, but we dont keep in touch anymore, its quite sad.
[x] Cut your hair: hahah all the time, those damn split ends
[x] Had crush on a teacher?: haha no cant say that i have
[x] Been caught "doing something": haha yeah..my dad walked in on me..if youll excuse me Im gunna go wash my brain out..ew
[x] Been called a tease: haha no..dont think so
[x] Gotten beaten up?: no. me, deanna, emily and amelia almost did.! hehhe..i [x] Been in a fight: psh. yaa
[x] Shoplifted: nope
-----------------THE FUTURE------------------
[x] Age you hope to be married: from 25-27. somewehre in there
[x] Numbers and Names of Children: 2 or 3, girls: blaire, kendall, charlotte, or scarlett..boys: deffinitley elliot and elmer!
[x] Descibe your Dream Wedding: mine would be in winter cuz im weird like that...but im not as weird as jackie feld so im not gunna sit here explaining every fucking detail
[x] How do you want to die?: painfully.. short but sweet, at a climax or time of desperation in my life, while crying, being able to say i love you one last time..suicide preferrably
[x] What do you want to be when you grow up?: i dont even know ahha..whatever im good at?
-----------------OPPOSITE SEX------------------
[x] Best eye color: blue or green
[x] Best hair color: black, brown, or dirty blonde
[x] Short or long hair: long, but if it looks bad, shorter..but not like loser buzz cut
[x] Best height: umm taller then me, but not a ton
[x] Best weight: dosent really matter...just not some obsese...person
[x] Best first date location: somewhere absolutely fun, but romantic in its own way
[x] Best first kiss location: wherever..:)
-----------------NUMBER OF-----------------
[x] Number of boyfriends/girlfriends you've had: 9 i think
[x] Number of drugs taken illegally: one..
[x] Number of people I could trust with my life: 4--rachel, brittni claire and deanna ..ilu
[x] Number of CDs that I own: too many
[x] Number of piercings: 10, want my lip done though
[x] Number of tattoos: haha none, so sad
[x] Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: 2 or 3?
[x] Number of scars on my body: i dunno, its in the hundreds that i do know
[x] Number of things in my past that I regret: i regret many things but i deffinitley have 3 major regrets
----------------FAVORITES------------------
[x] Shampoo: color vive by loreal, pureology hair treatment shampoos and conditioners with color retention
[x] Fav Color(s): black pink royal blue
[x] Day/Night: night
[x] Summer/Winter: summer
[x] Lace or Satin: im just ganna go with lace..
[x] Fave Cartoon Character: mm i dont really know, i think ill go with stuewe from family guy..what a kid
[x] Fave Food: BROWNIES ((cut then frosted and only the inside!))..fries, wings, pizza, hot sauce, salad, chicken fingers..brittni knows :)
[x] Fave Movie: i have a ton but my two current favorites are napoleon dynamite and wicker park
[x] Fave sport: field hockey, and lacrosse
----------------RIGHT NOW------------------
[x] Wearing: polka dotted shorts, white tank top, red bra, 2 different socks
[x] Drinking: water
[x] Thinking about: how much i hate everyone, including myself
[x] Listening to: glassjaw..
---------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
[x] Cried: yes
[x] Worn jeans: yeah
[x] Met someone new online: hah nah im not into that
[x] Done laundry: hahah NO
[x] Drove a car: nah
[x] Talked on the phone: yes. to adele
---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------
[x] Yourself: not usually
[x] Your friends: yes i [x] Santa Clause: who doesnt?
[x] Tooth Fairy: id fuck her
[x] Destiny/Fate: yes, most deffinently.
[x] Angels: yes
[x] Ghosts: yes
[x] UFO's: cant say that i do. my dad claims he saw one in the navy..what a jackass, he worked in the navy central office..haha i wanna shoot his weenie off sometimes
[x] God: yea, i dont no where i would be if i didnt..
--------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
[x] Do you ever wish you had another name?: yeah
[x] Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: i wishh
[x] Do you like anyone?: yes.. very much
[x] Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: hahaha that would probly be brittni natasha
[x] Who have you known the longest of your friends?: Deanna most deffinitley, I love her dearly
[x] Are you close to any family member?: they all hate me..with good reason, I guess me and my little brother are kind of tight, me and my mom used to be...
[x] Who do you hang around the most?: brittni deanna claire and rachel ahah and ocasionally some boyss
[x] When have you cried the most: at least once every 2 days
[x] What's the best feeling in the world?: having someone you actually love and having them care about you just as much
i wouldnt knwo though...
[x] Worst Feeling?: rejection
[x] What time is it now?: 1:11 am