(no subject)
Okay so here's some things I gotta get out.
I'm tired of a lot of things.
I'm tired of band.
-it's not fun anymore.
I'm tired of a lot of the people in band.
-There are 8 people who I can still call a true friend in band, and it's probably not who you're thinking.
-I'm tired of all this drama that's just complicating our little lives even more and it's getting to a bad point.
-I'm tired of all this finger-pointing, name-calling bullcaca because we should be above that. And we're not.
-I'm tired of those who have or still do call me their "friend" whether it be close, best, or just in between not living up to what they themselves define as a friend. At least towards me.
I'm tired of school.
-All this stress is making my academics suffer, and then I get chewed out by teachers who expect a lot of me and I just can't do that right now.
-I'm tired of these 50 minute class periods where I'm guaranteed to get homework and I can't do it because I'm devoted to band, where I just get berated.
I'm tired of my homelife.
-I'm tired of my parents always fighting with each other.
-I'm tired of my parents fighting with my siblings.
-I'm tired of my siblings fighting with each other.
-I'm tired of being blamed for everything.
-I'm tired of everytime that I come home I get yelled at for whatever. People taking out their bad days on me.
So whatever. I'm done with all of this.
I want to quit band.
But I won't, 'cause that's the easy way out.
However, this will be the last journal entry I ever make because it is simultaneously the last time I'll ever trust anyone outside those select 8 with my heart, emotions, or personal life again.
Too much has changed. Somebody wonderful today told me "It's not that you've changed, it's that everyone else has changed and you've just grown with them. I still see the old you inside. I know you're there. You're just hiding everything."
So whatever. Bye.
I'm tired of a lot of things.
I'm tired of band.
-it's not fun anymore.
I'm tired of a lot of the people in band.
-There are 8 people who I can still call a true friend in band, and it's probably not who you're thinking.
-I'm tired of all this drama that's just complicating our little lives even more and it's getting to a bad point.
-I'm tired of all this finger-pointing, name-calling bullcaca because we should be above that. And we're not.
-I'm tired of those who have or still do call me their "friend" whether it be close, best, or just in between not living up to what they themselves define as a friend. At least towards me.
I'm tired of school.
-All this stress is making my academics suffer, and then I get chewed out by teachers who expect a lot of me and I just can't do that right now.
-I'm tired of these 50 minute class periods where I'm guaranteed to get homework and I can't do it because I'm devoted to band, where I just get berated.
I'm tired of my homelife.
-I'm tired of my parents always fighting with each other.
-I'm tired of my parents fighting with my siblings.
-I'm tired of my siblings fighting with each other.
-I'm tired of being blamed for everything.
-I'm tired of everytime that I come home I get yelled at for whatever. People taking out their bad days on me.
So whatever. I'm done with all of this.
I want to quit band.
But I won't, 'cause that's the easy way out.
However, this will be the last journal entry I ever make because it is simultaneously the last time I'll ever trust anyone outside those select 8 with my heart, emotions, or personal life again.
Too much has changed. Somebody wonderful today told me "It's not that you've changed, it's that everyone else has changed and you've just grown with them. I still see the old you inside. I know you're there. You're just hiding everything."
So whatever. Bye.