so im not dead.... i dont think

[_x_argyle_x_]

hmmm... well ive dropped 1000 hints at least. i dont know, right now it seriously feels like i can count the number of people who care about me on one hand. why is it when anyone needs something as long as im able i will do whatever they need/ want, but when times get hard for me, like right now, i see one person who cares enough, to understand what im saying and to listen. idk dewie is prolly right i am too good to them, but ... i guess it makes sense in theory, because it obviously doesnt work that way in reality. yeah it sucks i may seem like an asshole but damnit thats how i feel. i miss my besty friend soooooo much, where did she go? and who replaced her? i dont like the replacement, my besty friend would care. and would listen and would call me out when i told her i was ok and we both know thats a lie. i dont know, why is it when i am ok im surrounded by people but when im alone my demons come out to play? and why cant i sleep anymore? where have all my friends gone?
i need a friend who will listen and care. i miss the friends i had that were like that. now it seems like everyone only wants me around when they need something from me. its fucked up but i cant get anyone, other than dewie, to sit down and listen to me to explain this to them.